On one of the quiet streets of the city of N. inhabitants slid down on the roof for the road. My neighbor refused. One day, closer to noon, a camel came and poured out a bunch of straw from me in front of the yard. My neighbor saw, but did not hear, how the camouflage officer told me that after lunch there would be more cars with a scraper, and a grinder that would level the scraper all over the street. A neighbor asked me what was happening. I told him that since he didn’t go down the slope, the street would only be placed in the opposite direction of him and only from my yard. For the next two hours, I watched him load a shredder in a chariot and drive him to his courtyard, making his way straight. Seeing that his forces were at an end I went out to help the neighbor with advice, to load more and drive faster until the gray arrived. The neighbor was so inspired by my generosity that he was even delighted to take my advice on planning the plot in front of his yard. Tired of helping, I went out to make a coffee. In my memory will forever remain the expression of his face, observing how after lunch came the squirrels, poured out the slices in uniform heaps throughout the street, then came the gray and leveled everything in a flat layer, including in front of his courtyard.

Military and political leader of Japan during the Sangoku period (16th century AD). Odo Nobunaga, who devoted his life to the reunification of the country and the first who, in fact, succeeded, and was also one of the most outstanding samurai in Japanese history - Odo Nobunaga, was cruel, like a monkey and did not tolerate lies. Everyone who lied was killed.

Do I really look like a monkey? He asked one of his relatives. The man thought for a moment and immediately said:

What are you, your superiority! He cried out. How can I? ! to On the contrary! This monkey has the honor of being like you!

That caused the samurai to laugh and led to an excellent mood of mind.

Years so 10 years ago, or even more, I worked in one sanitary company, which was more engaged in installation services, but they had a small store.



Sold to one customer an iron bath, everything was fine, cool, delivery was done. He refused to install because he would do it himself. Well, okay, the usual situation, and the business is actually there for 5-10 minutes.

A week later, an angry customer calls.

You sold me shit! It all runs!

What is running? The bath? O_O

and yes! It broke and I flooded the neighbors.

- Okay, we will send you a master now, let him assess the situation.

Within a few hours the master returns.

Do you laugh that? What there?

Go to %$!

and rye further.

In short, I come there, go to the bathroom to see. The bathroom is half divided. I can’t understand anything, I look fucking some Chinese rolling around, and a pump. I begin to ask him, “What is this at all and naphida? “” It turns out that this fool took a shurik, a crown, made a hole in the strange, his mother, the bath and planted in them a fork for hydromassage. All this affair was handled by a sealant, and after all this affair stood and dried decided to try. He poured a full bath of water, and the bath naturally did not withstand such violation and burst straight from hole to hole throughout, his mother, length, splashing out all the contents on the floor and the neighbors below. He pressured us to sell him the shit to reimburse the price of the bath and the damage to the neighbors. In general, it would be better for him to sell the brains in a neighboring barrel, rather than a bucket with cigarettes. He had to be sent to three Soviets, with a detailed explanation of what a fool he was, and if he did not agree then to the court.

The client did not call or come to us anymore.

I read several posts about gifts from my parents and remembered my story.

My parents gave me a radio-controlled helicopter for my birthday. How I was delighted! He targeted his parents, grabbed this super gift and jumped out on the street. There he ran with the helicopter, screamed, laughed joyfully. I still remember that feeling of true unfailing happiness!

When he played, he came home, took a cloth, very carefully wiped out his gift from the dust and put it on the table before him. Dad and mom obviously did not expect such a reaction, but it was visible that they were very pleased that their gift pleased me. And when they turned away, my wife approached me and said to my ear, "You're a fucking guy."

It was told by the mother-in-law.

My husband was sick, the fever was high, cough, rhinitis, throat, all as usual in general. I need a hospital. I call the clinic to call the doctor at home. When it’s busy, no one takes the phone. I am going to the clinic on my way to work. I come, the row in the registration is not surprising. I approach the window, stretch out my husband's box and ask to call the doctor to the house, where the lady on the other side of the window raises a pretentious look at me and with a theatrical breath ticks a pen into one of the papers on the glass. (Next dialogue (C) - the mother-in-law, (R) the woman from the registry)

Woman, do you know how to read? It is written in black on white, calling the doctor at home only by phone! Here is the number!”

(C): I called you all morning, you are busy, then no one takes.

(R): So you were calling the wrong place!

(C): How not there when this is the same number that you have written here! (I stretch the phone with a long list of outgoing ones)

R: What are you talking to me here?

(C): I just showed that I called there. Anyway, once I came, accept the challenge at home.

(R): "A long pause, a theatrical breath, a contemptful look" Woman, I repeat again, calls the doctor home only by phone!

Q: Are you serious? But I’m here, the police with you, and you can’t take the challenge?

(R): Call home only by phone!

Okay I think. I go three meters from the window, out of the zone of visibility, get my cell phone and call the number on the glass. In the next window on the table the phone rings. A woman in the registry, like nothing else, sits at the computer and closes something lazily on the keyboard. I keep on calling, a minute, two, three. The phone is broken, the response is zero. From the depths there is a scream, “Lena! Take your phone!” The woman lazyly stands up and goes to the neighboring window to the phone. Here I go into the zone of her visibility, pointing to my phone and saying, “Yes, I’m calling, take the phone!” She removes the phone and accepts the call to the house. At the same time, we look at each other through the glass and hear each other perfectly without the phone. Marriage of the highest degree.

My colleague’s daughter is five and a half years old. Yesterday, he says, approaches and asks, "When will we write a letter to Santa Claus?" She replies that soon and wondering, "What do you want as a gift?" The child said, “I’ll ask him a lot of money for your salary. We have everything we want to buy.” The fucking! Was it possible?

A girl who has not come to a date can only ruin your mood, a girl who has come to a date can ruin your whole life.

About social networks, the blockade and the Leningrad Zoo

Any modern social network is a breakdown of our society – as it really is. “In the bathroom, in the hospital and in the cemetery, everyone is equal.” Per, in the Internet, where all social boundaries and conditionalities are finally removed, they are still more equal.
Almost everyone is registered on various social networks: from first-class students to retirees. People of all ages and professions with pleasure and amazing dedication communicate with each other in a way that in reality would not work out: students with their teachers discuss university news equally, subordinates with their bosses – their projects and joint parties, distant relatives become closer to each other, shy young people dare to get acquainted with girls... It happens that you can even directly talk to a famous artist, musician, deputy, even the governor, if, of course, they are sufficiently democratic.
Absolute transparency whileining some anonymity gives stunning results: people do not be embarrassed to express their opinion on any occasion and without any reason, personal blogs flourish in color, on personal pages and in groups grow multi-storey essays, reviews, memories, opinions... Sometimes in the comments unfold real battles that affect the most acute problems of our society.
The case that prompted me to write about him happened in one of the popular social networks. The reason was a seemingly passing note that the white bear in the Leningrad Zoo is preparing for winter and intensely consuming fish oil. The discussion began with a provocation and ended with a verbal conversation. It has not ended, it has stopped. The provocation was that, in the opinion of one of the users, the zoo needs to be renamed, to bring its name in line with the modern name of the city. He was reminded that the name "Leningradsky" was preserved in memory of the feat of the workers of the beast in the years of the blockade of Leningrad: exhausted and exhausted people saved animals, sometimes at the cost of their lives. Do many remember today how under the German bombardment died an elephant and an elephant guard, who did not hide in a bomb shelter, but remained next to his pet? Many will remember that the Behemoth safely survived the blockade only thanks to the titanic efforts of a weak woman – Evdokia Dasina, who daily brought 40 vades of water (400 liters) from Nevada on saucers!Washing the animal’s scratched skin. Has anyone ever heard that when in November 1941 one of the monkeys gave birth to a baby, then in order to save and feed him, zoo workers hit high thresholds and managed to extract donor milk in one of the nurseries? People dying of starvation thought about saving their defenseless pets, calmed them during air disturbances, bound their wounds after artillery shots, tried to feed them rather than eat them... Is this not a feat worthy of eternal glory and eternal memory?
This is where the real panopticum begins. The user paralyzed that in those years the city was named as a murderer, a thief and a thief, that the blockade was long ago, that it would be time to live today, not a blockade, because the blockade was many years ago and it is time to return to reality, that it has long been to be renamed, making the name beautiful and bright, so that there is no shame to go to the future generation, so that its name is not associated with pain, blood and war...
Should I be ashamed to come to Leningrad Zoo? I am not ashamed! I am ashamed that I have to justify myself before a man who wants to destroy the memory of the feat of Leningrad. I would never have thought that I would live until the day when the word “Leningrader” would become blasphemy. That is why I am ashamed. The most striking thing is that this man is ten years older than me, a wealthy middle-aged citizen... It is often said that a generation has grown up knowing about war and blockade only from films, well if documentary, it is probably the grandchildren and grandchildren of frontmen and blockaders. But much worse, among the older generation, the sons and grandchildren of those who defended Leningrad, there are people like this User. And, apparently, such people will become more and more over time.
Apparently, no one doubts that the memory of the blockade is sacred, but it is rarely remembered, 4 times a year. And it turns out that in order to preserve the sacred status of this memory, it is not enough to walk once a year on Nevsky Prospect with a portrait of a grandfather or a grandfather, a bouquet of nails and a Georgian tape on a lace. After all, if one day in the year "I remember and I am proud", and 364 days "the blockade was a long time and it is time to live today" - it is no longer a sacred memory, nor is it a memory at all.

In your resume you indicated that you don’t like gays.
No, it is rather me.
You do not fit us.
See you here? I wrote so.

I recently met a friend, a face in blue, a huge lamp under the eye, a little crumbling...

So, a couple of days ago, he decided to twist his numbers from the car, so that the marker would circle the areas where the paint has slipped. Two passers stumbled upon him and stumbled from his heart. When I found out it was his car, it was too late.