A forty-year-old Moskvich, when it is a car, it is shit, and when it is a single man, it is promising, very promising.

I found an old quote.

Dennis: Everyone probably knows that vegetables and fruits are especially grown delicious so that they are eaten by some animal and then pumped them with seeds elsewhere, promoting their spread. But who does chili pepper count on?? to

Chili pepper contains seeds that are digested in the intestines of mammals, but birds do not digest them. It is spread only by birds. Smart nature has added to the pepper a substance that is not felt by birds, but is very sharp and frightening for mammals.

What do you know about the game of words?
I went to a supermarket to buy food in the summer. Next to the alcoholic is a small fun company, clearly smells of shishelks. Choose a bucket. The boy turns a bottle of something strong in his hands, looks at the price and with indignation puts it in place with a loud voice:
I turned...! - Clearly going to say something in the spirit "I turned to buy it for this price"
I am a mangal! His friend interrupts him.
– And I’m a shale... – catches up the girl standing next to him, and breathing like this: – Heat me, heat me completely!
stormfall: I barely removed the shelf while it was rugged. Sly x)

xxx: News - "The office of “Platon” was defiled in Omsk"
XXX: And threw Tomic Aristotle

The IT department. A colleague remotely configures a printer to an employee in Simferopol. Dialogue in the process:
- Interestingly, and the Crimeans also say "Our Crimea!"?
No, they say "Our Russia!"
“No, "Our Russia!" the Chechens say.

<Mev_Nave> Proto_Colbys: They Called Satan in the Universe
<Proto_Colbys> and instead of Satan came the dean?

If for the movie Ninja Turtles the main characters were awarded an Oscar, then the statuettes would be given to everyone except Leonardo.

A deep night. You can even say it’s morning. In an hour I need to send the resume by mail, and I still had no horse there. Well, still gathered, did it faster. I decided to read it before sending. I think a prospective employer would not appreciate the inscription "Listening to the Dark Brotherhood" in the column "previous job". And after all, I wrote without a back-thinking, purely on the machine.
YYY: We know it!!! to
zzz: "Why did you quit your previous job?"

Comments to the article on the Hick Times that near a city in the U.S. banned the installation of solar panels because they “kill plants” and “suggest all the energy from the sun”

XXX: Well, it was necessary to ban wholesale and wind turbines, or they can stop the flow of air masses and all suffocate.

YYY: It is right. And the trees can not be planted too much: when the trees roll, there is a wind that ventilates the fertile layer from the soil, from which then the grass does not grow.

ZZZ: I saw no grass growing under the trees!

YYY: It is now. The pines often turn the earth into sand and stones.

Homophobia is the fear that blue people will treat you the way you treat women.

A child is a child??? She is 5 years old??? She lived to 16 years and has not yet learned the simple truth: red - stand, green - go!
Comments are superfluous...
Reader: Now pedestrians don’t even try to stick to the right side, they build on the transition, like a wall on the wall, half pretending to be English, Japanese or Dybala. Although you look, they don’t look like English or Japanese.

- Your resume is impressive and in personal communication you made a huge impression on the director.

You would see me sober.

But what I suffer from is that I have nothing to do in the morning. I go to work on the day, okay. And in the weekend? How about on vacation?"

I get up every day at 5:30-6:00. In the morning, I can start laundry, smooth underwear, generally clean up in the house (the vacuum cleaner is not very noisy, and the clothes and sweaters are generally quiet). I can do sports. I can go for a walk in the park or just on the streets. I can read a book, watch a movie, love a friend. Simply put, in the morning you can do such a bunch of different things that questions arise about the independence of the topicstarter. and :)
Bibop, Roxstedy and Schredder.

I have a man named Cole. The carpet is gold hands, but the education of the class and a half probably. And here finds this Kolya on the way to work a calculator (a decent such Casio calculator)... and during the overdrive he gets it out of his pocket and begins to study.



There are 10 men sitting in the smoker. Here this Cole presses the buttons, takes some example and he has the word "Answer" on the first row of the display, and on the second there is some number. He asks the man sitting next to him:

What does this word mean?

He joked to him:

You can’t see anything, Anonymous.

Oh yeah yes, of course! - says Cole and continues to study the calculator.

The man surprisedly asks the car:

Do you know what an anus is?

The answer:

“Yes, your mother, I didn’t go to school, I know everything, sinus, cosinus, anus...

I brought you flowers, you stupid shit.
What o-o?
You said that actions are more important than words.

We have flowers at work. Every time someone was in a position, he began to bloom. Even before the future mother knew about her pregnancy. At one time, he cried a lot and often. And girls went into the decree as a deficit commodity in Soviet times. A sort of flow began. And then this flower stopped blooming for a long time. During that time, no one has issued a decree.



So passed year two. And today the chief enters the office and, smiling and threatening with a fist, reports "The flower has bloomed! Be confessed! “Who?” Bets at work.

The Wife: Garbage
Not garbage but a police officer
Wife: Police officer in our bathroom, you forgot him

Max: Sometimes I have a desire to give someone a p*da
Max: But then I remember that I’m crawling and I’m being let go.

All Russian literature is built on suffering. Suffers either the author, or the characters, or the reader.

Advertising without comments:
"Do you want to download? Be a programmer and find out.
Download the first lesson for free! Click on Call"