bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 18 - ] Comment quote №85598
 14.08.2013
In short, my grandfather cut me off today. I sit like this, I read the book of Dostoevsky "Idiot", and grandfather said, what do you read? I show him the cover, and he speaks clearly with a disturbed feeling. has gone. I hear my grandmother say, “I thought my grandson was reading something on the program, and he was reading something...”

[ + 19 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №85597
 14.08.2013
XXX: I plan a trip by car on the route Moscow-Voronezh-Donetsk-Odessa
In Voronezh I go to the Wi-Fi store antenna (hours for 2 -3), then in Rostov to lose 4 hours to meet with friends and go to Donetsk. In fact, if there are accompanyers, or better drivers, I can take them with me.
YYY: I was in Voronezh several times, but to drive there for WiFi antenna - I did not hear the nuances.
ZZZ: You probably aren’t married.

[ + 38 - ] Comment quote №85596
 14.08.2013
Crew: XXX, the tractor hit the snow and accidentally crashed into the car.
And the cow? Snowboard or snowboard?
Crew: Kowsh himself, knock the car on belonging... (dicts data)
Not lucky, he lives far away.
What kind of car is it
Crew of: Semka
The BMW 7?
Crew: There is no vase.
You’re covered in the snow so that you can’t see it.
The curtain.

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №85595
 14.08.2013
This is:

Where are the normal headphones "drops"?? to
Well, I don't understand these new-fashioned spots, they remind me of anal sex: they get tight, you feel a strong discomfort and constantly scratch out!
— — —

You have a rich personal experience.

[ + 37 - ] Comment quote №85594
 14.08.2013
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Today at 4:30 p.m. I went to take the baby’s turn for a free massage.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
That you think?

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
The 12th!! to

[ + 46 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №85593
 14.08.2013
This
Conversation with an admin/enikey:
I am a bad admin.
Everyone complains about me.
CHC: Why is it?
admin: I tell them they’re elves (wowfully true)
admin: and also make them run under the table and connect the compops on their own, arguing that the last imbitil will not be able to confuse the connectors
You are burning!)

When will you learn to understand that your work needs to be done on your own? This "admin" is the deer's journey itself, if it is connected to comp users. I myself worked on the admin, this job is easy, just later moved to industrial programming and chef-installation. And if the administrator tries to get me under the table, he will leave the job the same day. I don’t want to fill out his paperwork. Yes, in general, for a normal person, admin is only the first stage of a good career... And if he’s a lifetime of “fat moustache, beard, sweater,” then it’s just a computer plankton, a bride of which he has thought a lot about himself. I wish him that in the hospital, the plaster on his hand was advised to put on itself, because there is nothing difficult.

[ + 15 - ] Comment quote №85592
 14.08.2013
This can only happen in Yakutia. The forest is burning and... snow falls.

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №85591
 14.08.2013
We are watching the world championship in light athletics.
Q: Why are Kenyaans and Ethiopians running ahead?
I: You understand, it is natural selection, they have little food, only those who are able to catch food by the heat survive.
Q: Why are they all so terrible?
I: You understand, this is natural selection, they have little water, only those survive whom crocodiles crawl in the river.

[ + 20 - ] Comment quote №85590
 14.08.2013
After a very dirty talk at the lake:

Do you wash your bicycle with your hands?
No, with a socket.
Q: With a knife? Do you wash your bike with socks?

A long pause.

K is yes. Remove the second socks.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №85589
 14.08.2013
XXX is a wonderful author. He really closes my gaps in my head with simple schemes with a clearly prescribed causal effect. I am beginning to love history.
YYY: Wait, I don’t understand. You are beginning to love history. But the story is about people.
You don’t like people!
XXX is yes.
But those people are all dead!

[ + 18 - ] Comment quote №85588
 14.08.2013
When I moved to another department in the Bank, where mostly men work, I learned a lot of new phrases for myself. Hussar rhinitis, double Dutch shurval, anal sommelier and many other terrible words

[ + 36 - ] [4 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №85587
 14.08.2013
I wanted a Nick...
The O4 Kapuk.
So it is now called: eyeball.

[ + 16 - ] Comment quote №85586
 14.08.2013
I bought the model pants "no more eating"!

[ + 20 - ] Comment quote №85585
 14.08.2013
xxx: and I write a fairy tale - "Lish and Goose"!
YYY: And what is there?
As long as the name is invented...

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №85584
 14.08.2013
Because of the fact that I’m usually the first in phone notebooks – I’m often ringing people’s asses and being silent, swirling my clothes!

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №85583
 14.08.2013
This morning I made a joke.
I call to dictate the indication of water from the meter.
She said to me: Thanks.
I am – big!
It is: Big

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №85582
 14.08.2013
Olga: What are you treating, Maine Liebknecht Freud?
Alexander: Vodka))) No, I joke, of course - Remantadine, I cook herbs (I cook!!!Drops in the nose, all that.
Olga: Well, a complete disappointment))) It’s all too right!
Alexander: Ol, well, I am still not a classic male, I am half-pedor, so I know how to treat, I know how to cook and - oh, shame! I don’t wear socks ?
Olga: Damn))) Half Pedoraz - it's like a piece of clothes sounds, if honest...
Alexander: Ahaha))) "He stuck his elegant half-pedoraz")))
Olga and Dada)))

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №85581
 14.08.2013
Lera: When the foam film from above starts to rise, remove and turn off the fire.
Lera: Do not leave him
Lera: or flee the shit will then wash it all.
HOG: I don’t have a puddle that will wash everything away afterwards.

[ + 45 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №85580
 14.08.2013
In my childhood, I was fishing with worms.

YYY : Why? O_O

XX: They have subversively tried to sabotage their work of earning. This is unacceptable!!! to

zzz: These are the wrong worms you are crawling.
The real worm must be such that he sits on a leash without any hook, rushes rapidly to the naively floating carousel, suffocates, rises, passes the prey on to the master and, after a comradeship, crumbling the worm's jaw, goes back to underwater hunting!

[ + 20 - ] Comment quote №85579
 14.08.2013
From Habr:
> -...electric shock that would turn off the driver in case of excess. It should be, but not humane.
>...And what will happen to the driver’s car whose electric shock was cut off at full speed?? to
“Well, she would have flown out into the cottage and slowly burned, but it was a misanthrope that woke up in me.

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