bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №125508
 15.03.2016
xxx: Question from the anime series "My Little Pony". MLP has an unexpectedly large number of adult fans around the world, mostly men. What do fans find in it?

YYY: I believe that in mlp a coded signal is transmitted from reptilians from the Nibiru. Those who watch the series are their hidden programmed agents, and they themselves don’t know. They activate when the invasion begins.

Zzzz: Do not burn the office!

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №125507
 15.03.2016
I love the excuses of the losers: but the dog needs only love, money does not need it. andquot;
People also need love. They just understand that a partner who has gone to work is unlikely to love anyone but themselves.
And the dogs you just use, lettuce.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №125506
 15.03.2016
Galatea23: эх, my albansk...
Galatea23: I look at a black-and-white photo where children in cravings write: "Religion is a fool, down the pops." I read: "Religion is a fool of the dolpyops"

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №125505
 15.03.2016
SergeyNik: the pool is evil. I drank all the alcohol in the house with him.
abx: with the refrigerator I somehow boiled, but with the pool...

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №125504
 15.03.2016
One of the comments on the news about the departure of Bu Anderson from Autovaz:
They said, the place is cursed.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №125503
 15.03.2016
<chh> An elderly German woman was sitting in front of me in the bus. In her wallet, where women usually keep photos of children and husbands, I saw a young Tom Cruise cut out of a newspaper. Chess and mat, the optimists.
<yyy> Maybe it was Tom Cruise’s mom!

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №125502
 15.03.2016
Here they are outraged that children come to school to talk and eat. Adults come to work for the same. Studying and working is just an inevitable accompanying evil. If money was given just like that, almost no one would work.

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №125501
 15.03.2016
XXX: The Nose

xxx: I just wrote “nose” with my nose! ))

Tagged: penis

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №125500
 15.03.2016
Little boy, how old are you?
and 15!
I was 16 at your age.

[ + 43 - ] Comment quote №125499
 15.03.2016
What if a daughter is born?
No other girls! I will have two sons!
The Brothers Vachovsky also thought so.

[ + 33 - ] [3 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №125498
 15.03.2016
seriously?

In Estonia, a publicity campaign has been launched urging citizens to do the need in the bathroom to reduce water consumption.

It became interesting, google-gugliel, found only links to websites "Militia of Novorossiya" and "Russian Spring." It seems that the Estonians themselves are not aware.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №125497
 15.03.2016
"I accidentally indicated rubles in the account instead of hryvnia, what to do?"
" well, change back and forth"
10 minutes later
"b-d, who changed the name of rubles to hryvnia in the currency reference book?"

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №125496
 15.03.2016
As a child, I dreamed of going to the Field of Miracles and was determined to go to Yakubovich and get the best gift. Decided to draw Yakubovich in the studio at the drum, he tried very hard, and when he finished, put his masterpiece on the couch and went somewhere. When I returned, I found that one of my parents had already been able to sit on my painting, it was removed and already unfit to give it to Leonid Arkadievich. All my efforts were wasted in vain, I started crying, screaming at my parents and eventually said, “This is what you did? Now Yakubovich will look at the painting and say, "What kind of shit is this?" It still reminds me of it :)

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №125495
 15.03.2016
and happy:
* * * * * * * * *
Herna is your education.
He was always a dispatcher (two years in the army were then repaired), walked 9, 10, 11 classes, did not study at the institute (two paid institutions, both fled from the first session). At 22 years went to work in technical support for twenty a month, now 28 - the head of the department of system analytics, a salary of two hundred thousand, a beloved wife with a twin, a closed mortgage.
As my parents sent us at the age of 24 (and gave the debts required from me for paid institutions and maintenance from the age of 18), I still do not communicate with them - all my life I tried to build the one, the other, the fifth, the tenth. I owe anything to my country and I owe nothing to anyone else.
* * * * * * * * * * * *
What song did you play on the alarm?

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №125494
 15.03.2016
On my phone, to take a screenshot, it is enough to simultaneously press the volume adjustment keys "plus" and "minus".

When I have the alarm on my phone to put it off for 5 minutes, you have to press any volume control button.

When I wake up in the morning, it is no longer morning. The couple slept. Nothing awakened me. But on my phone a bunch of screenshots of the alarm.

[ + 15 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №125493
 15.03.2016
The School

Remember, but rather write down - not publicly declared, but in fact the main goal of any (not only Russian) school is that at least part of the day teenagers (beings who are at the age that is typical to look for adventures on their ass) were under surveillance.

The education of these adolescents is declared as a primary but factually optional function. So relying entirely on the school in the education of your children, of course, is possible, but not far-reaching.

All the goods!

[ + 19 - ] Comment quote №125492
 15.03.2016
Where do we turn? Smart clocks - pressure, pulse... soon a general blood test will learn to do... Here!!! You wake up so happy, and your gadget sold you to someone for organs...Hey!! to

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №125491
 15.03.2016
The modern system of education, as Dolores Ambridge correctly pointed out, is aimed not at the practical application of knowledge in life, but at the successful passing of exams.
I have everything.

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №125490
 15.03.2016
AKO: Eating wanted to be stronger than thinking well.

[ + 18 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №125489
 15.03.2016
The Schoolwriter

I don't understand - I only had a book in the first class, the first book was the Literary, in which the letters were just studied and only then - reading ("MA-MA MY-LA RA-MU"), the first notebook was the Notebook, in which the sticks and circles were first written and only then the letters, and the first calculator - the counting sticks? And then I look at everyone already in the school academics came...although the program of education is like one for everyone (at least then it was definitely one).

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