Mom, we’ve finished tomatoes, so there’s no salad.
YYY: If I find one, I’ll put it on your head.
Then the salad will not be...

In our time "trollit" was called "stebase"...

News from a well-known sports website:

The French stopped shaving.
The players of the Czech national team promised not to shave until the end of the performance at the European Championship. The breaker of the new rule will face a large fine.

The commentary:
xxx: Suddenly they will get to the final....))) The ZZ-Top team will play...)))

My dad and I went to the store and fought along the way. I was upset and put on the headphones. After a while of dialogue:
What are you listening there?
The song. About myself...
And what song?
The daughter of Wardalaq.

I am fucking beautiful.
xxx: mother said "on the plate pot with water"
XXX is OK.
xxx is coming
XXX: Taking the pot
XXX: Take a Bathroom
XXX is dressed
XXX: Opening
xxx: the frog of the frog

I sit in the office, the boss looks. He is looking with his eyes at the corner.
We and a colleague, in one vote "Lost what?"
The answer is "No, I’m looking." The door is closed under our goot.
After 5 seconds, a roaring director opens.
has arrived.

Even when you go to the square, you should not lose your head.

A friend lives in Germany, they had military fees there. They stand in front of their military chiefs and listen to notes in the spirit: "Well, you are all so lazy, you need to be in shape, not that... the Russians will come tomorrow - and then...". One did not stand: "And what we come, we are already here..." - there was a man of 40 Russians. ))

A simple girl and glamorous, it’s like a simple cell phone and smartphone.
There are many points and twists, and the main function is one.

A celebration in Samaria.
Number of spectators: 300,000 Man is

The comment:
Who caught the stick of the band’s drummer during the concert of the Rock on the Volga 2012 reply to me second!!! to

I see, many people here complain that girls don’t know how to cook.
This is not an innate skill, skill comes with experience. Remember your computer games, or how you taught a foreign language - too, after all, at first were diletants, and then gradually increased the level.
- When you live with your parents, with your mother in the kitchen especially and you do not twist: first, the meterage does not allow, secondly, two housewives at the same plate... Well, imagine that you and your father are sitting behind a compot on the same chair, and trying to play at the same time)) Of course, some simple dishes (hot there, or charlotte) you will trust, and you will learn to cook them, but the chef of the kitchen is always a mother, and you are the maximum assistant worker and cleaner.
- When you live alone, you can do a salad or bouillon with grapes. I don’t want to get married, because. You remember very well how your mother lived, and there is no motivation to learn to cook.
- And then you meet a guy for whom you want to try, who you want to make pleasant, you start to get a nest for him)) Then you learn culinary wisdom, gradually gaining a level.

xxx: People, I may also be green, but I will still ask... say, frequent sex is not dangerous?
Well, I read that regular sex 2-3 times a week makes you look 10 years younger. 5-6 times a week?
YYY: Do you often shake?
Damn, how beautiful it is not to ask about this in a popular place!
YYY: Would you like me to ask you about this in private?

My 5 year old brother walks into the kitchen. His whole face is blue.
What about your face? Has someone beat you?
No, these are two traumas.
In what sense?
Brother, this is - I hit the door, and this was playing crocodiles. I jumped on the bed and faced the wall.
In the wall?? to
Brother, no problem, there was a pillow, really I was by it...
Immediately after these words he slides, grabs the chair and crashes into the closet together with the chair.

As the saying goes, “Everything is fine, a beautiful marquise, and everything else is fine.”

from JAP:

Aglobal
Molly, you’re funny, and I think where to put the money? Can a thousand for 500 in Moscow land be bought?

Seiner
At least in Moscow itself.
Go to a gardener's store and buy a couple of sacks of selected black-zeam.

XXX (10:11:39): Hello, Tanya, call me when you are in place.
UUU (12:59:47): I was in the archive before lunch
XXX (14:41:06): was you zippanula?)))))

I remembered, there was a case at the first course in physics. Prepod strict, did not like when the noise and quarrels. A couple goes, the predeal explains a task, everyone writes. Suddenly, with a hellish thunderstorm, one guy gets a iron thermos out of his bag, ten seconds of silence, the basement blows on everyone. A loud voice from the back:
Sorry, the pen has fallen.

Toughened (14:44:25 14/06/2012)
Oh oh! I remembered here... one day I met an American and we spoke on Skype, but not a video, and the correspondence was... I opened an online dictionary on the net, inserted its text and he translated to me and back the same way.. and I decided to call, and I forgot that I don’t speak American:-D, so I pretended that I don’t have a sound, like I don’t hear it and I open my mouth without sounds... and here comes my mom into the room and grit – Len, went to the country?
Yeltsy (14:45:45 14/06/2012)
Shut up? I stopped talking to him, I was ashamed.

The coach of the Netherlands has made a big deal.

by Habr
Internet store introduced a special commission for users of IE7
Comment: A funny concept is “browser-based discrimination.”

I am in the hospital for four hours. Angry and hungry. There are no buffets. There was sugar, recently taken from the coffee, there is. I get out of the bag on my hand, I sit down and eat calmly. And then a tank approaches me in a female shape and with such a loud voice on the whole hospital: 'girl, addicts are taken into another body. The coolest thing was that I was accepted after that without a turn.