Everything in this world is still like a man’s meat, and a woman’s skin... Better just a hat!

The smart rabbit.
The history of the 500 euro banknote (September 9). I don’t know the truth, I heard from a primary school teacher. When she noticed that the children were stunned, she sometimes interrupted the lesson with such short stories. Bright memory to you, Captainina Georgievna.

The prewar times. The Odessa Tramway. The trip costs 10 copies, tickets are issued by the conductor. And once appeared in the city a passenger who, entering the tram, offered the conductor a hundred ruble note. Of course, the conductor was not able to deliver from such a sum, and the passenger continued to insist: "no delivery - your problems, I have no other money, the banknote of the USSR must be accepted everywhere, do not go to me on foot." The driver allowed him to go without a ticket. This lasted for quite a long time, about the clever "rabbit" (so he was nicknamed) knew, probably, the whole city. (My note: it is strange that he is constantly trembling in the open with his strabismus, sooner or later he did not rush to the hop-stop) One day he enters the tramway, approaches the conductor, hoping to drive for free, stretches the conductor a familiar paper. The conductor takes the proposed bill, breaks and issues a ticket, pulls out a sealed bank bag with ten-penny coins under his seat. He opens, takes ten kopecks from there for himself, and the bag offers to take the former owner of the stubble: “Here is your delivery, exactly 99 rubles, 90 kopecks. I checked in the bank, but you can count. What does it mean not to take? Take, take, the funds of the Bank of the USSR are valid on the entire territory of the Union, everything is legal. Or I’ll fine you 5 rubles for a ticket-free trip, we’ve already made one stop. Yes, by the way, the bag is the property of the bank, don’t forget to return it soon, or the state property will be tied for theft.” Under the passenger goot "take, man, these garments will be long enough for you to pay for the tram," the owner of the bag with small coins surrendered.

The further fate of the protagonist is unknown, on this story the teacher finished and proposed a task: to calculate how many days for this money he will be able to buy tickets, provided that he will ride twice a day (the subwoofer was hidden in the fact that there is an incomplete number, and the division "in the column" with the pieces we have not yet passed).

Yesterday I wrote to a neighbor’s dirty car, “Wash me!”
And what?
"Today I go and see that the car is so dirty, and below my inscription is written: 'Come - I will wash!“”

The article "Intel showed a processor running on alcohol":
At a conference focused on developers, Intel Corporation demonstrated an unusual prototype of the processor. A glass of wine is sufficient for the chip to work, from which the processor draws energy using a pair of electrodes.

The comments:

Here you sit at home quietly, and the tablet is like this, go to the drinking machine.... And take the smartphone - the third will be!!!! to
WOW: The airless cars are already completely empty, today they take our alcohol, and tomorrow give them our women.

atlas706: and I played Kish. When he sang “I know I can’t get anything back in life...”, his father approached the monitor to see how the track is called. Then with the words "well, punk shit... well normal words, no, well..." he shrugged his hand and left. I look, and I have there in the title of the track written "King and Shut - I climb off the rock" O_o

xxx: and I thought at first that the game of thrones was conceived as porn, but here the screenwriters spread...

from Diablo 3:
xxx: Listen, nub, I am driving my barbe up to 770k DPS, and you can boast of what?
Yyy: I have an apartment, a car, a high-paying job and regular sex.

from the forum.

_Natysik_: I am a accountant. yesterday was not at work today I come and on the door the inscription "accounting went to the front"))))) it would be funny to answer and I can't come up with anything))) maybe anyone can help

Anime: Transcribe so that the inscription can be read, and write from your hand "We have returned with victory!"

The enemy capitulated. Pay a tribute.

Tikula: Get rid of it – everything is in place! Picture with lemur

Kenga Ru: "accounting has gone to the front" - "And we are WAR!"

A comment to a post in one of the groups on the mail "Speed is a drug. It is worth getting used to it and driving differently is no longer possible"
- Speed up on the domestic vase 2106 to 140 km. Take a look at your habits 😉

The LG exhibition:
This is a pocket printer, bla bla bla bla.
Do you have competitors?
Especially not. Apparently only the Polaroid represents something similar, but their device can print in A4 format.
A4 format is no longer a pocket!
Well, there is a tube about 25cm long. You insert the sheet and it turns.
It looks more like an umbrella. An umbrella with a printer. It is genius! Take pictures on glasses and print on an umbrella.

In his early childhood (age 5) uncle took him to work in the river port. We are not in a hurry, I look at the sides, the heating cranes and other port jewelry. I knew the letters, I read some. I write the names of the vessels. Suddenly:"I-v-a-n-o-v-o-z" The Uncle O-0? I am looking forward to "Ivanovo 3". It still reminds me of shit.)
= = = = = = = = =
The maneuvering heat vehicle of CME 3 for the same reason is irritated by "Cmesik".

From the correspondence:

XXX is guessing. I'm going to the kitchen, make a cake and I'll go back.

A bowl with oxytocin?

XXX: A cake with icy cabbage =)

In the car we go: I, aunt, son of 3 years. We drive fast, the road goes sharply down into the log and rises sharply up. The son tethered out: "Ba, this is what the dad is chasing! Yes is? I’ve even got a whirlwind..."

Probably all the inhabitants of major cities have already received ads displayed everywhere (including in the subway) with the texts "Registration, lease housing" and so on. Fighting them goes with variable success, fines and other things do not help. Large sums of money are spent on removing all these ads. The problem was quickly and easily solved in China. All costs - a computer, mini-ATS and 3 people of staff. One admin and two couriers. Couriers ride around the city and write out phone numbers from such ads. The administrator brings them to the base, the computer through mini-ATS calls these phones every 30 seconds. Elementary solution to the problem! Why hang advertisements on phones when no one can call them? All ads disappeared in 2-3 months!
— — — —
by Ollo! We would have that! The service "fuck free and effortless of the one you hate"

xxx: But the most epic in the universe was the case when the The dean in his stamp "ADMITED TO SESSION" dropped the letter "D"

I am so old that in my time the transfer to the Field of Miracles was intellectual.

Social workers in Moscow a week before the elections spread dry paired to their caregivers and told whom to vote for. On election day Babuli voted at home for Sobyanin in 99% of cases. Anything else to write here is useless.
E is:
The brain is already dead, but the basic function of eating is still working. The reflexes on dogs were studied by physiologist Pavlov, when food is seen in the animal, saliva is released. So in the remains of the brain they work that gave a packet, and then they will give.
G is:
for the wicked,
Cross in the lower corner.

Give me five, give me five! And it is fictional that for many old people this paek is the best gift in a few years. And yes, they’re fucking who’s going to crack the budget there, they have other heads busy – like surviving in a country where they didn’t give up to anyone.

XHH: Yeah, your crocodile, compared to ours, is a child’s foolish. I last showed the existential quintessence of chlamydomonas.
WOW how??? O_O
Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh He showed the man who turns into a cockroach - remembered "Conversion" and "Kafka". He showed the direction, combined the three words together, and received "existencialism". Showing the transition from generalized to something small, remembered. Showed the quantum, removed "a", replaced with "and", guessed "quintessence". He showed something small and vivid, remembered a bacterium. He showed the lemonade, removed the first two letters, added the last, guessed. It only took 10-15 minutes. =) is
You are the demons. I won’t play with you, don’t even invite.
xxx: But when the girl showed for a couple of minutes, attempts at thirty, we finally decided to say her name, rather than listing the kind of possible occupations or nicknames. = D

I am a flight school student. During a conference on aviation meteorology.
Prepod speaks of warm air masses. And it starts: "Imagine a girl came to you, hot like that, wrapping you up and not giving..." the end of the phrase drowned in a wild whistle)))