has long been. I got a good job in a small company selling building materials. Salary and conditions are fine. On the third day, a strange incident happened to me. I am a smoker. In the morning before work I always buy, but it turned out that the bar is closed, the last cigarette in the pack, well, I think I will buy somewhere in the afternoon. At the stop I smoke this cigarette and as according to the law of the genre, the bus appears. I quickly squeezed it and sent it back into the bag. Working day in the middle, you have to go to smoke, and nothing. I remember that there is a non-smoking cigarette in the package and I go to the street, where there is a dedicated place for smokers. This place was in the corner of a neighboring building. I get a non-smoked cigarette and before smoking it, the lighter slips from my hand and falls next to the urn. I raise the bull in my teeth and start smoking and here I see that the director of the company is nearby (where did he just come from?) He is watching me closely. Here comes to me the absurdity of the situation, because beside the urna were rolling bulls just like mine. This is my bull. - I said, in a tone similar from the side, as if he pretended to him. Of course yours. Throw out. He told me and gave me a pack of cigarettes. Have you recently arranged? The third day. They stood silent and smoked. I thought it would be ridiculous and long to explain would be even more funny. There would be a whole cigarette, and here.



Close to the evening, the boss unconsciously and suspiciously told me to go to the box office. I was given a small amount from some unregistered, apparently budget. It was a long time before the salary, so I didn’t object.

I have met him before, then on the road, then on the sidewalk. And every time I could not stop, not to admire this spectacle and not only I alone, all the passers looked after him and smiled.

Imagine a man on a small electric jet, he runs at a furious speed of fifteen kilometers per hour, but looks at the same time as if he is trying to break the world record on the bottom of a dry lake. I would still understand - a bicycle helmet, well, in the bad end - a motorcycle, if not, a person is just learning and afraid to turn. But there was another case. In addition to the helmet and gloves, the self-driving machine was equipped as a terminator before the battle with the black hole: the turtle, shoulders, loaders, elbows and knees on the slats, armored trousers were sprinkled under the pants, and most importantly - these huge motobots, which barely fit on the self-driving machine with an area of one and a half feet. It would be a crazy grandfather with brittle bones, of course, or not, it can be seen from everything that young and healthy, even if the self-made man did not buy such a dead man. Well, you can’t be so afraid to fall at a speed of 15 km / h.

And today I was riding the big one and at the end of the street again saw this figure looking into the future. The ghost rider ran at his favourite speed. I strained, worked with pedals, caught and equaled with him. For a while we were driving in parallel, until I thought about talking to the driver.

He started first:



Want to ask something?



Your backpack was unwrapped, as if nothing had happened.



The rider stopped, on a business basis put a carpet on a small foot, removed the backpack from his back and began to fasten:



I almost lost my wallet.

Not for what. And, sorry, all this protection has already suited you, falls, don’t give god, happened?



The man smiled with one eye (the rest of the face under the helmet was not visible) and replied:



Are you there too? Let’s make fun of me, humiliate me, I’m ready for it. It was angry before, and over time I got used to it and I even started to have fun. The most common thing I hear from people around me is: “Look, look, the referral has gone! “I’m an ordinary city madman, raising people’s mood. What is wrong with this?

In fact, really nothing. You are right.

“But I will disappoint you and admit that every day, in the morning and in the evening, I drive by car one and a half kilometers from home to the building.

There I have a litre sportsbike in the underground garage.

Everyone can gas.

To slow down at the right time?

We need brains.

$10,000 was not enough to successfully pass the interview.

No, I didn’t go to the prosecutor’s office or the tax office, not even a cleaner at Gazprom. As my acquaintance psychologist said, “Life is richer!” with that in mind that there are more situations in life than the options we assume in our minds.

So, the call: “Dear Simon, this is the company FranKConsultinG (frank consulting), we found your resume and would like to offer a job manager on customer service, a salary of 50 +%, no searches and cold calls.”
In the interview, I learned that the company is advising people who want to trade on forex. The boys and girls walked through the office in a Wall Street Wolf costume. Under the conditions for initiation, candidates undergo free training for 7 days, then write the test and according to the results of it, a decision is made on admission to work. Training is free, so I agree, especially on an hour a day. Honestly, it was interesting, the more the subject is completely new to me. One day after a compulsory training hour, I was invited to stay for additional training which will take place for existing clients, also free of charge. The training was conducted by a 23-year-old financial consulting genius with fat barrels and a pediatrically illuminated brick.
During the training, the lecturer told and asked questions to the audience, some of which I answered. After the class, I was invited to the guru’s office.
The Guru
You understand a number of terms better than our current customers. I was very impressed.
I am
I’ve met those terms before.
“I see you know the dates when slavery was abolished in the United States and slave law in Russia. From this I can conclude that you are a brilliant acquaintance with world history.”
The Guru
In this regard, I would like to offer you a position not as a customer manager, but as an account manager for our clients. Here there is a significant difference in income, the manager has a salary of 90K + 90K of passive income +%.
Well, and of course, the classic of the genre: "I need to agree this issue with the management!"
The next day, the issue with the leadership was solved in a miraculous way. But there is one nuance! People don’t trust managing their brokerage account, a person who doesn’t trade in forex, so I need to take $10,000 somewhere to open my brokerage account. At that moment I understood that wild A*U*AI. Falomorf, I came to work, and I was offered to get 10K green for a successful employment. I gently sent the guru in the direction of the female reproductive organ and said that I was not ready for such risks and better I would remain a customer manager. To what the guru objected to me that the money then I should not bear him, but should put them on his own brokerage account with any broker I would like and generally pushed a-la speech Tony Robbins about the importance of successful success and the problem of loser failures, while trying to show on his phone his insagram where he is on a yacht with blackjack and prostitutes. Honestly, I haven’t watched Instagram so I don’t know what’s there, but I’m sure that in the best traditions of infocygan.

After the training, there was a simple test of 19 questions that I thought I wrote well, and in the evening I was promised to call to report the results. The next morning I called myself and I was promised to figure out what was going on with my test and call back.
I was not used to thinking badly about people and assuming that there was no job "Customer Manager", but there was just an attempt to heat up the next loophole, and only those men who sleep with other men do so.
Probably, I still wrote the test badly and I just didn’t get upset...

P.S I believe in the honesty of the president and the innocence of the officials, in the care of the banks about the clients, in the mermaids, in the households.

Rosstandart identified a shortage of fuel at every fifth refuelling plant, as a result of the inspection of every fifth refuelling plant.

Based on real events. (The names have been changed)

There are two bosses in the office.

...and I also have Dolbovids working here.

You are what! ? to Show me!

“Mashenka, invite Dolbovidov to me!

For a moment Viktor Arkadievich.

The guy comes in, in the glasses, the face is disturbed by the attention of the management:

Hi Viktor Arkadievich! Called to?

I’m interested in you here. [...]

You hear Dolphin, but what is your name? (They are

- Yes, I myself as a child was very upset about her, one day I approached my father in tears and asked - why is she so funny? He said, “You are a son! She is magical!”

What kind, what kind? (There are some of them!)

- Magical... "If Dolbovidov say out loud, the deep... is immediately visible..."