bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 54 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №37473
 16.10.2010
The British build a computer on steam.

There is nothing to add ?

[ + 117 - ] Comment quote №37472
 16.10.2010
The evening bus. Conductor (k) is a healthy guy, under two meters tall. The company of drunk men (M). Such a dialogue:
K (the tired voice bubbles): We pay for the trip.
M: What if we don’t want to?
K (not changing tone): We get the puzzles, get out of the bus and wait for the next one.
All have paid.

[ + 90 - ] Comment quote №37471
 16.10.2010
I wake up in the morning. I go to wash. I hear some talk from the kitchen. It is strange. There is no one else at home. I go there. The TV is on, and the cat is lying on the pillow on the couch and watching some morning show. Totally exhausted.

[ + 74 - ] Comment quote №37470
 16.10.2010
One guy didn’t pay attention to me for a long time, but I decided to meet him anyway. Once I saw him on the shore of one, quickly climbed into the river and began to scream that I was already drowning. He saved me, and I thanked him for his passionate night of love. He infected me with gonorrhea. I would rather have drowned (girl, 24 years old).

[ + 73 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №37469
 16.10.2010
My mother burned. Siddhartha takes her pictures and shows me:
Look what I was!
Oh, how long your hair was!
“Yes,” says Mom, “I still have them, and I get a cellophane bag with hair.

[ + 53 - ] Comment quote №37468
 16.10.2010
Downloaded the game from torrents, and there is a license agreement:

Please read this license agreement very carefully:
I agree to have fun and just have fun.
Help me God!
“To be angry is like pressing hot coals in your hand, trying to throw them at someone; you burn yourself.”
The Buddha.
Have fun! →! to

[ + 55 - ] Comment quote №37467
 16.10.2010
In the evening as usual I went to the shower, I stand under hot water and I notice that everything is muddy... no need, I think, it happens... that pupils from hot water sweat. Here I sat in the room, frozen - now I warm up and they sweat. Then I wash and I can’t understand why the water doesn’t get into my eyes.
Looking in the mirror, I forgot to take off my glasses.

[ + 59 - ] Comment quote №37466
 16.10.2010
The weather inspires with its disgust, you get into the bus - all such faces are overwhelmed, so glad it becomes xD

[ + 66 - ] Comment quote №37465
 16.10.2010
xxx help me! Why did the cookies disappear?? to
Yyy: They were eaten
xxx: ><

[ + 73 - ] Comment quote №37464
 16.10.2010
Is it true that coal is good for the body?
Yyy: What, once again the potatoes failed? ?
Damn, how do you know?and (

[ + 70 - ] Comment quote №37463
 16.10.2010
Where is the 404 page?? to
The carmaker: :-)
Correction: Are you completely out of shape? This is a book!

[ + 62 - ] Comment quote №37462
 16.10.2010
In the summer on the beach, the girl suddenly drops her swimsuit, she looks in horror at the guys sitting behind, and one of them screams to her:
Do not be ashamed, girl. I saw nothing! I am blinded by your beauty.

[ + 66 - ] Comment quote №37461
 16.10.2010
The xxx:
Diarrhea is the leakage of information that you are a shit!
YYYY :
Is it a non-security service??? = – O

[ + 76 - ] Comment quote №37460
 16.10.2010
XXX is
I breathed chlorine... now I don’t feel anything – I don’t distinguish smells, only sharp in the nose, and bitterness in the mouth... and nausea.
YYYY
Is there an arrival?
XXX is
I wait
XXX is
Fuck... terrible
YYYY
When do you read the common letters?
XXX is
Sushi

[ + 54 - ] Comment quote №37459
 16.10.2010
Conversation of girls (D) and guys (P) in chat.
D: Boys, don’t you have such a pleasant feeling before a date when the butterflies are in your stomach?
P is there. I just have a member and that’s all.

[ + 53 - ] Comment quote №37458
 16.10.2010
I lie with my husband (sysadmin of a small set - 105 kg at my 55 kg), decided to kiss. He is inspired, begins to cuddle deliciously in response and falls over the whole body from above, which is why I have a short breath.
Are you excited?
I am suffocating :[

[ + 124 - ] Comment quote №37457
 16.10.2010
I was once in the elevator and for nothing to do decided to look at the ceiling, and there is written: "Ab*lo go down"

[ + 68 - ] Comment quote №37456
 16.10.2010
[13:56:09] Ikshot: Hohma: Just ordered a toy for PSP (Kingdom Hearts: Birth by Sleep) in video games. The courier calls and asks: "And at what time can I deliver the maximum?"
I answer, “By midnight... but as you get closer to midnight, it will be more and more difficult for you to find me.”
At the other end of the tube there is silence, a pause... and then she asks so carefully (with some fear): "Why?".
Well my answer is "Because it’s dark!"

[ + 59 - ] Comment quote №37455
 16.10.2010
The fox
When was the last time you went to a psychiatrist?
YYYY
If he is in the military, then at 18.
YYYY
But I don’t remember one of them.
YYYY
He was in a mask and with a sword.
YYYY
Speaking in Turkish
YYYY
I ate cookies and squeezed from under the desk.

[ + 92 - ] Comment quote №37454
 16.10.2010
Dialogue in the trauma point (01.15)
What about you?
Something, my hand broke.

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