bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №126922
 16.04.2016
I complain to a friend that the cat has left the house and has not returned for two days.
“Nothing,” he comforts me, cats often go to die in the woods.

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №126921
 16.04.2016
The most profitable currency of 2016 was the Zambia Quach.
Oh yeah yeah yeah! I am going to buy a quilt. And if the course falls, I’ll put it in the pond.)

[ + 33 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №126920
 16.04.2016
It was like here:
"Text with mistakes, like cold, fatty soup - can be eaten, but disgusting."

I add :
To read what is written with mistakes is like to read what is written on a wall: as if everything is understandable, but still unpleasant.

[ + 26 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №126919
 16.04.2016
Local machines do not see external NAT, what to do?
You want to knock outside the door of your own room without raising the poop from the chair. Of course, it is impossible.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №126918
 16.04.2016
I watch a series from Sidab, there superheroes travelled into the past, broke the device, the enemy captured, the future changed
xxx: The organizer of all this arranges an excuse to the team, shows a hologram of the expected future
xxx: "It was Central City in 2016... was, I don’t know what it was renamed by the neo-Nazis after the seizure".
XXX shows the burning skyscrapers.
xxx: Well, fuck, because neo-Nazis are not quite ordinary people, so they live in burning buildings.

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №126917
 16.04.2016
And what is the achievement of "inventing an iPhone" - well, against the background that there are already mobile phones and smartphones? Can you tell in detail, without a vou-factor - what exactly is the technological breakthrough? Or I read from the first iPhone that the new model will come out, and life will change - I look at those who buy - they have nothing to change. Per they miss something important when consuming fashion products?

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №126916
 16.04.2016
Zzz: They are looking for some origins of the ancient Russian civilization, which is allegedly older than Egypt and is the mother of all other civilizations.
Oh yeah, the ancient frogs were flying all over the universe.
In the mountains of the serpents!
The men were three meters tall.
The dwarfs are rushing! The mountains crumbled! The rivers flowed through the mouths.
Their grandmothers had stones... Oh how!
Which other woman, besides the stone, will stop the hornet at the race?
Yes, there were people, but they were extinct. It seems to me that as the donkeys died, so the man crushed.
On the mammoths passed, the weak.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №126915
 16.04.2016
To this: x: Well, I listen to the Time Machine, Antonova.
Y: Yeah, you are a 40-year-old star.
z: I’m listening to Beethoven and Bach sometimes, I’m MacLaud!

You will have to explain to the interlocutor about the old Connor and Duncan...

[ + 17 - ] Comment quote №126914
 16.04.2016
Bees make honey, right? What do the hamsters do?

Tagged: shelmeldonium

[ + 23 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №126913
 16.04.2016
I know one comrade whose wife raises both her children and the daughter of a mistress. And the latter earns the same as that companion and brings money to the house.
And those who don’t like something, they send choir, far and long.

[ + 20 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №126912
 16.04.2016
My cat is a fetish, today stole cowards from a neighbor’s apartment from a dryer and brought them to my bed to play. Sometimes he pulls my socks, socks are his secret passion.
My cat pulled my sweat shirts out of my laundry basket
WOW: And I walked in them.
HGH is horror!! to
WOW: I thought so too.
Wow, but it looked funny.)
I don’t like to find other people’s pants and socks in my bed.
I would have had a man.
HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
He has it for you.)
My "man" walks naked and turns his tail
Q: Do you think it compensates that everything goes as it should?

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №126911
 16.04.2016
Better to be a cat in Turkey than a dog in Korea.

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №126910
 16.04.2016
XXX stand up
xxx: wanted to write "wake up", but when I tried to enter this word instead of a password in Skype - I realized that I was not awake yet

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №126909
 16.04.2016
In Uzbekistan, the bridegroom was kidnapped before the wedding. In the Samarkand region, a young man kidnapped the future husband of his lover.

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №126908
 16.04.2016
When I was a kid, a friend came to my mother. He listened to the conversation, then the passage: "I prepared the children to eat, and they liked it so much that they just got all the plates out. I didn’t even wash, so I put them.”

I haven’t eaten at her since then.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №126907
 16.04.2016
The girlfriend who learned about her wife a year later.
and how you a mistress, who learned after three years that there is no wife, just a man is so comfortable (the ZAGS is not pulled)

[ + 38 - ] Comment quote №126906
 16.04.2016
“Why shouldn’t you, two bastards, instead squeeze my enormous squeezing...
Come on, the fifth. The rabbit is not in the spirit today.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №126905
 16.04.2016
What is characteristic, a reasonable man called himself

[ + 41 - ] Comment quote №126904
 16.04.2016
History of Soviet times.
At a concert, a musician played a piano.
For this, the piano had to be put on the stage. This is usually done by trucks.
Once upon a time, a famous Soviet composer came to a concert.
I don’t remember who it was: Prokofiev, Soloviev-Seda, Shostakovich, or maybe Kabalevsky.
In general, he persuaded the loaders to replace one and bring the instrument to the stage.
The carrier is well - he rested instead of work. The composer is also good - he has fulfilled his dream.
He and everyone took the piano to the stage, and then sat down and played the melody. Not a Chizik-Pyžik, but a Bach cantata.
The spectators were just in the shower: a simple loader suddenly just sat down and played!
Especially if you consider that then the invited artist came out and played this piano in times worse.
The scandal was enormous!

[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №126903
 16.04.2016
At the annual straight line, Obama promised residents of Chicago to repair roads and give the salary for March to General Electric employees.

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