bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 55 - ] Comment quote №33061
 16.07.2010
<xxx> I understand how to wake him up... I need to turn off the computer! =DD
<xxx> after a minute wakes up and runs in panic to see what happened =DD
<xxx> and so no alarms help))

[ + 42 - ] Comment quote №33060
 16.07.2010
X: Did you hear that the hool created?

Noah... noah...

XX: for all the men’s mills revenge...

xxx: the mortgage to the aunt issued 11!!!!)))))

Yeee =)))

[ + 48 - ] Comment quote №33059
 16.07.2010
xxx: Yesterday I smoothed the maika next to the cat - the cat looked at me with such a look, in which it was actually written: "You've even ohuel to turn on the oak?and "

[ + 56 - ] Comment quote №33058
 16.07.2010
Scream from the bathroom:
and Polina!
What is!? to
and Polina! and Polynesia!! and Polynesia!!! to
Going into the bath:
Well what!? to
- Response time 7 seconds... Of the four packs, one is lost.
and liveder.

[ + 48 - ] Comment quote №33057
 16.07.2010
The proposal to conduct a special investigation into the circumstances of the 1812 fire in Moscow was made by the mayor of the Russian capital Yuri Luzhkov.
<oort> this is right.
<oort> the government has to do something.

[ + 49 - ] Comment quote №33056
 16.07.2010
The Monday. On Friday, the partner was scheduled to celebrate his 35th anniversary with the whole team in the person of 10 people, of whom, which is not insignificant in this story, 7 women. With every day of approaching Friday, everyone started not like it, don't take it, don't buy it, we won't go there. On Thursday, our anniversary psychhanul and did the following: I bought in the store ordinary hernia (vegetables) - in the area, according to me, 10 pieces, each of which either roasted, or roasted, generally prepared in all possible ways. On Friday we gather and he puts on the table one by one: fried, salted, etc. Everyone is in shock, and he is so pleased: "And what a fuck you need!"

[ + 59 - ] Comment quote №33055
 16.07.2010
I go out of the store, in front of me a family: a mother, a little daughter of five years and the head of the family is the father. Mom and daughter are happy, Dad is sad.
Mommy, do you like to rest with Daddy?
My daughter – yes! :D
Are you going to rest with your dad?
My daughter – yes! :D
Dad is not!! to

[ + 60 - ] Comment quote №33054
 16.07.2010
XXX: I cross the road on the light. In front of me is a mom with a charming 10-year-old daughter. Suddenly this angel says:
“Mommy, because the fact that we are switching to the green light is not a guarantee. We just have more chances of surviving.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №33053
 16.07.2010
Round dates are a bit full.

[ + 35 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №33052
 16.07.2010
There was a dog.

The dog had a fence, there were gates in the fence, there was a window in the gates.
The window, the dog.
That the dog through this window can explore the world around.
Well, the dog has studied everything (and did he study there? The street was boring. From boredom, she invented fun. For example, a citizen on the street. He thinks of something his own, suspects nothing, kicks in his nose. And only he with the gates is aligned, she loudly over his ear, "Gav, fucking!!!" Man jumps, the heart catches, the dog is fun.

But in the end, everyone got used to it very quickly, and the dog stopped reacting. And some uneducated children even began to show their tongue and scratch their scratches. It is offensive. annoying and boring.
The dog changed tactics.
He looks carefully outside, waiting for a passenger to appear in the distance.
It will rain, then it will hide, and it will pretend that it is not there. The passenger goes, looks at the window from a distance, the dogs are really not there. Well, the passenger will relax, and the whispering calmly passes by. And then she’ll pull out a cacao, and—
Fuck you fucking!! A passing jump! The dog is fun.

But the village is a village, passers rarely happen.
The dog’s life is not sugar. Fun is not a pond.
The dog has a master. He calls her Chuchandra. No dog at all
“Chuchundra” does not react to the owner. When the owner has to open the gate and leave, he simply takes it like a pig for his back legs and pulls it out of the window. Otherwise she does not understand.

We observe this quite often, we walk past ten times a day. My dog lives in three houses. When we walk, we always greet her with respect. “That’s a matter, Chuchoundra!”
No, it’s absolutely clear that there’s nothing pleasant when you’re called
There is no Chuchundra, but how it’s called, we don’t really know.
At our greeting, the dog’s eyes are poured with blood and anger. They say, “They are walking! Without a guide, without a fence, they go where they want and go! You’re sitting here all day as if you’re dressed!” So the class hatred of the dog to the empty wandering past is quite understandable. Therefore, we do not offend her, but even sympathize.

And then we went past the river on the day, and we had a stick with us. Such a good stick, sock, picked up on the road.
A meter long with a hand thick. Such a stick will be useful to everyone, what was rolled - it is unclear. Well, we go with this stick, so, and here -
The Chechandra.
She saw a stick, with her almost collapse did not happen. She wavered, and her eyes fell out of anger. So we’re her “Chuchundra, do you want a stick?” And the stick was given to her, of course. It’s a good piece, but we don’t regret it.
Chicken is needed.
Chuchundra grabbed, grabbed this stick in the rope, and let it swallow. Chuchundra whispers, the stick talks, the gate beats, the gate grimps, Chuchundra at least some entertainment. And we went to the river.

They came back in two hours.
Chuchundra was still shaking in the window with a rod in the middle, and obviously did not intend to let it go. But it was no longer fun for her. There was a decent saliva under the gates. Chuchundra's eyes were very skilled, and she periodically knocked a stick at the gate, trying to pull her inside.
The palm is long, the window is small. There is no way to let go or capture the mind. So she got stuck.
Throw the stick, fool! We said. Where there! Will he give up.

But the most interesting thing started shortly afterwards.
Chuchundra may have died with this stick in the window from nervous exhaustion, but the owner just arrived.
He entered through the cylinder inside, usually took Chuchundra for his back legs and began to pull out of the window. It wasn’t here, Chuchundra wasn’t going to let the stick go anywhere.
Probably if the car was on the inside, he would just tie the dog with a dragging cord to the carpet, and knocked. The car was outside.
Then he went out and tried to take the stick from Chuchandra from the other side, from the side of the face.
Oh, how much joy appeared in this wicked face! Per for the first time in his life, the owner decided to play with her! It was she who thought so.
The owner did not think so. He quickly understood all the nonsense of his proposal, said
“Okay, I asked myself!“And he went inside.
A minute later, he came back with a knife in his hand.
He pressed the rod with his knee toward the gate on one side, and began to squeeze right near the chuchondrin mouth. It was uncomfortable to shave, and he did not shave as much as he did. Chuchundra gathered her eyes in a bunch and struck with horror at the "whiplash" that was happening next to her. But the stick was holding tight.

When one side was finished, the owner wanted to adjust to the other, but Chuchundra caught, and with relief pulled the ashes inside. After a second, a sound came from the fence, with which the residues of water escaped from the dishwasher. At least three hours in the sun! While the dog was drinking, the owner dragged the car inside and locked the door. Then out of the gates came the characteristic sound of the juicy blow of a good stick on someone’s ass, a dog’s whisper, and the owner’s voice:
Next time, I’ll take the bottle instead of the stick. I understood?
Then over the gates flew out and swept into the dusty street the remains of our sticks.

The next day, the window at the gate was knocked.
This is a sad story about animals.

[ + 42 - ] Comment quote №33051
 16.07.2010
A man, after yesterday, sits on a pinch, smokes thoughtfully, and looks at his wife digging potatoes.
“Yes, you didn’t give me a son, now I’d help you.
I think we would both smoke now.

[ + 49 - ] Comment quote №33050
 16.07.2010
I just knocked on the door out of the office. All the heat is cursed.

[ + 48 - ] Comment quote №33049
 16.07.2010
I came across the gazpacho recipe:

Tomatoes are cleaned from the skin and cut into 3-4 parts. Cucumbers are also clean and cut not thick rings. Bulgarian pepper is cleaned from seeds, cut in cubes. The garlic and garlic are crushed. Then we put all the ingredients in a blender and grind in the purple.

So we cut rings, cubes, crush - this is all to make it time for saliva to go out well?

[ + 47 - ] Comment quote №33048
 16.07.2010
I am learning to ride a bicycle.
What do you do, do you not know?
She: Well, you can know differently. I can directly. You have to learn to brake and turn.
You know how to hinder. Learn to stop :D

[ + 44 - ] Comment quote №33047
 16.07.2010
Tagged_left
Everything is clean, even a folder with bases with profiles. Smooth and ready. 50GB packing in 4.5 hours
Spose
I have a shit with you.)

[ + 54 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №33046
 16.07.2010
<panic> and you know what does a person who needs to make a screen screen, but he does not know and the photography is not there?
<Casual> what is it?
<panic> he makes a screenshot on a web camera, sitting in front of it with a mirror in his hands :D

[ + 47 - ] Comment quote №33045
 16.07.2010
XXX is
I was 5 years old... oh, childhood... a wonderful time when you believe that nuts are smart.
QQQQ
Do you mean the units are stupid???! to

[ + 47 - ] [6 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №33044
 16.07.2010
Yesterday in the store a girl named "Nazgull" broke my goods.
I wonder if I can bring the foods home.

[ + 48 - ] Comment quote №33043
 16.07.2010
Oksana - fucking why I'm not a guy.

Lafer – So you are a guy! This is Marik, we have an indefence girl with a size of 46m!

Oksana - no... just if I were a guy... I would probably be a ruthless creature... and a girl would mean for me... a hole for the night)

Oksana - but life has rewarded me with breasts and feelings))

[ + 49 - ] Comment quote №33042
 16.07.2010
Leyla: You can’t shake!
All the money goes somewhere!
Leyla: And then bumping for nothing...

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