bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №143075
 16.07.2017
HH: And that’s all you’ve gathered? No comparison with last year’s.
Wauu: The problem of collecting mushrooms in Moscow is that they are difficult to spot under water

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №143074
 16.07.2017
In general, unfortunately, the problem of pests in the process of work I face solely in the context of the type:
- Vasily Petrovich, how does our experience grow when you plan to clean up?
“Oh, Nikit, here in Italy, an Italian Prussian ate corn, wheat, soybeans, garlic, bit the tires of the tractors, smashed the director in the tea and took my wife. There is no experience, you are not heartbreaking.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №143073
 16.07.2017
A girlfriend came to my wife, both liked watching the NTV channel and had a conversation about television:
I: NTV should be removed from the list of channels.
J: Remove it, but then your favorite channel should also be removed.
I: If I remove NTV, I agree to remove three of my favorite channels.
The women were shocked and remained silent for five minutes.

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №143072
 16.07.2017
I talked to a colleague at lunch yesterday. Asked for advice, said "you men understand each other better, advise how to be."

The essence of what. She recently got married and complains now that the candy-bucket period has ended and her husband has stopped making her gifts, gives little time, surprises are over and even does not give flowers. Instead of romance in their lives came a boring life and she cannot and does not want to live that way. How to? ! to

I replied that I am not familiar with such matters, and it would still be more correct for her and her husband to talk about everything, which she replied that she would not humiliate himself before him (I did not understand what humiliation, well, her affair).

I was most surprised by her reaction to my advice.

I offered her to "lit the spark" well, once her husband stopped, she could arrange a surprise for him, buy a gift, well, or just organize a romantic evening...

It was necessary to see her expression of the face and the anger in her eyes, it was as if I had offered her to rent for her husband three prostitutes and a luxury room in a city-looking hotel. She said she was supposed to do something for him, or to buy! He is a man, let him do it, he must! 11 is

I seem to understand why her husband was cold to her.

[ + 39 - ] Comment quote №143071
 16.07.2017
I rest in Georgia, under a large house a small store. I walk by, and the owner calls:

Padhadi Daraga, try chacha, white wine, red wine.

I ask :

Is Red Wine Good to Drink?

- Kaneshna is palesly daragoi, look at what house she built.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №143070
 16.07.2017
Once I came home to my girlfriend, like waiting for her to dress up to go for a walk with her. By the way, I was at her home for the first time. She left me alone in the room and went to another room to do a marathon. I stand, look and see a round aquarium. I thought good fish and came closer. I look and there on a bunch of algae lies an orange frog, I have never seen it. At first I thought it was a butaphoric, for beauty it lies there. I came and decided to touch her. As soon as I touched her, she jumped and grabbed my finger. I just wept out of surprise, knocked my hand, and the frog flew somewhere under the couch. Give up my condition. I rushed under the couch to get this creature, and the girl from the neighboring room says, “I’m almost ready. Which as I grabbed this slippery shit and put it back in place. No one was hurt. Then in the conversation, I cautiously experienced that this frog was her dad’s favorite creature, and he feeds her with pincet meat.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №143069
 16.07.2017
I hate doctors. No condemned honey worker so relates to his illnesses. For a banal reason. At a certain point of study, many, even nurses, lead to a visual demonstration on cadavers of what disease does to the body from the inside.

Oh Maine Goth! He was a doctor in television series. So, baby, “a certain moment” is the first three years. After anatomy, gestures, pathan and top (search in the internet, you will be explained by these jargonisms) first the future doctor in the third course discovers ALL diseases in any reference book (this is kindly called the "third-class" syndrome), then, in the course at 4-5, in the modules / cycles on disciplines is infiltrated by fatalism and we will all die, and to the internship becomes a finished cynic. Who drinks the most? Anesthesiologist and resuscitator. Those who are sick take you away. Who is the prosecutor of the cabinet to "although a tail hang"? Cardiologists and neurologists. Because they understand, heart attack and stroke have a lot of risk factors. Endocrinologists and gynecologists love to eat. There is no such thing as the word "waste".
so we appreciate your drawing on the fan, but it’s never about the truth.
I tell you as a nurse (yes, there are no "medbrothers" in our university, all nurses write in their diplomas), who then finished medicine, with a clinical experience a little longer than your life experience outside of your mother.

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №143068
 16.07.2017
from ZH:
I was with my neighbors at the ceremony. It was a fairly young rabbi.
At some point he started congratulating the owner with a new home, new happiness, and so on.
The owner shrugged his shoulders: "Is this a house? This is not a permanent residence, but a rental apartment.
Two people calmed him, almost at the same time.
Every temporary home is also a home. The Rabbi said.
Every house is also a temporary home. I said.

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