bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №143095
 16.07.2017
[01:42:48] xxx: Put a face-recognition camera and catch a black sheet to the machine gun.
[01:42:55] xxx: Behind the door
YYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY
[01:43:05] yyy: I want to
YYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY
Are you not afraid of bugs?
[01:44:21] zzz: and I would just be a machine gun, without any sheets

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №143094
 16.07.2017
Pest: I appeal to the motorcyclists! Do not drink alcohol and give up drugs! We need your organs and they are important to us. Think of people!! to

[ + 57 - ] Comment quote №143093
 16.07.2017
I went to the dentist, leaning my right. The doctor put the medication, my whole mouth is filled with cotton tampons. I sit with my mouth open and listen attentively to his instructions:
Meaning so is. For 2 hours nothing to eat, for an hour nothing to drink, to give up sharp and salty. and yes! No oral CECA for 24 hours.

I look at this intelligent grey lighthouse with horror and begin to say with indignation that I am not the kind I am and how he laughs. It sounds roughly like this:

Bu Bu Bu Bu Bu Bu Bu Bu

Doctor: Okay, okay, don’t be upset. 12 hours!


[ + 40 - ] Comment quote №143092
 16.07.2017
How I walked on the shells:

To get rid of a mosquito, not to cope with the control and get into the breeze - 40 thousand.

Call an evacuator to get on it 100 km to the nearest settlement - 10 thousand.

Standing at night on the track in the rain next to the broken evacuator and listening to the wolf whirling in the forest is invaluable!

[ + 14 - ] Comment quote №143091
 16.07.2017
The friend found the job of his dreams))) Or did he push this race offer?)))

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №143090
 16.07.2017
The guy with the note is funny. Great to see the following story:
He is invited by the chamomile to a repair session of the comp, we remember what she liked. He runs to meet the dream. And there he suddenly falls in the same way as a daddy cat, remember what kind of fan of jokes he is, right? And at the end of the hand from the soul, the type finally found the untouched guy. I resisted so naturally, good. And he goes home. It is a shame to go to the police with such a statement.
Morality: very often the rapists remain unpunished precisely because the victim is even ashamed to tell about it.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №143089
 16.07.2017
A girl passes by on a bicycle.
Xhx: Oh, she needs a man! To smash, he repaired it.
Soon a young man passes by on a bigger bigger.
XXX: I don’t know what to say.
I would say it was her husband.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №143088
 16.07.2017
In short, when the girl came for the note, I wrapped it up and patted it. I’m not going to lie, I didn’t take hard in the pop. First he took hard, then in pop. stumbled in the process. The girl was pleased.

That’s why in your minds "not written a statement about rape" is "really satisfied"?

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №143087
 16.07.2017
A frigid barrel like no one asks, and it still climbs...
Take it, body, many women get pleasure from sex, unexpectedly, right?

Rape has the same attitude toward sex as morbidity toward massage.

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №143086
 16.07.2017
Thanks to the Unknown for "Harry Potter and the Ways of Rational Thinking". Literarily not very enduring - there are bugs, but! Logic, cause-effect and, most importantly, the motivation of all the heroes (which is not due to many literary works)... Bravo, author!!! to

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №143085
 16.07.2017
Dostoevsky in the person of Raskolnikov showed how previously dealt with micro-loan organizations

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №143084
 16.07.2017
I make a list of those who drive EXACTLY, with the numbers and brands of cars. This is an agribusiness condition.
List of 15 cars Maximum
The car number is 3 letters and 3 digits.
A brand is the name of the company that produced the car, not "something ours" or some Japanese"
for cabbage you need not only bags and gloves, but also tools to separate cabbage from the ground - shafts, knives, etc.
Don’t replenish my personal collection of cloves when the potatoes are digged with a scissor and a clove, and the cabbage just curls their heads.
Good luck to everyone"

You were not in the army. I cut a tree today.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №143083
 16.07.2017
Explanation why in Russia gasoline prices rise with cheaper oil:

“In no case should we allow producers, sellers and intermediaries to hurt prices, it is quite obvious, they must be economically justified. But artificially underestimating them is also inappropriate and even detrimental to the economy as a whole in the end.”

The song is simple, not an explanation))) Neither to add nor to remove.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №143082
 16.07.2017
I've been walking around the house for two days without socks and didn't notice! This is a sign of summer!
Father: or the freezing

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №143081
 16.07.2017
About the damned girls.

I had a little girl, very modest. Of course, with questions like the anal or the eagle, I didn't even roll to her, we had everything strictly: flowers, candy, hugs in the dark. Then one day she asked me to fix the note. I looked into the history of the browser, and there... I didn’t even think girls would watch such a movie. Tough anal by coercion, bonding, light fork (although not hardened, more symbolically).
In short, when the girl came for the note, I wrapped it up and patted it. I’m not going to lie, I didn’t take hard in the pop. First he took hard, then in pop. stumbled in the process. The girl was pleased.
Then it turned out that the note was not her, but her dad.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №143080
 16.07.2017
Next honestly earned millions are well made after the first stolen million.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №143079
 16.07.2017
During my stay at the Congress of Anthropologists and Ethnologists of Russia in Izhevsk, I heard a story that, I think, perfectly characterizes the attitude of current reformers to Russian science.

Shortly after the FANO began the inspection of the subordinate institutions, the inspector — an unnamed young man from the generation of effective menagers — visited Kunstkamera. Walked around the cabinets, looked at the situation with the technology, got acquainted with the directions of scientific research, and then returned to the office of the director J.K. and clean.

Apparently, what he saw was not very striking in the context of effectiveness, so in a conversation with the director he asked the question:

- I wonder, and who gave you such a building in the center of St. Petersburg?! to
“Peter the First,” replied Yuri Kirillovich.

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №143078
 16.07.2017
The sanitary engineer dropped the shell in the conservatory and took the purest "la" in the entire history of the institution.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №143077
 16.07.2017
A girl passes by on a bicycle.
Xhx: Oh, she needs a man! To smash, he repaired it.
Soon a young man passes by on a bigger bigger.
XXX: I don’t know what to say.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №143076
 16.07.2017
<Video: Laser engraving >
As if there were microscopic Jedi battles.

The best quotes and jokes from the bezdna