bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 48 - ] Comment quote №14565
 17.02.2009
~pOoZziTive~ ‎(12:31):
How can you swallow your nose and brain at the same time?
Opium‎(12:32):
and hehe. and. to explain?
~pOoZziTive~ ‎(12:32):
Yes Yes
Opium‎(12:33):
The girls in the restaurants go away and say they are going to pop up their nose. In fact, they’re putting our brains in the powder because they’re fucking fucking!
~pOoZziTive~ ‎(12:33):
And then ? Dress up. and. and.

[ + 52 - ] Comment quote №14564
 17.02.2009
Proletary (01:20:36 16/02/2009)
I scratched my back in blood by accident.

Katich (01:20:46 16/02/2009)
The carpenter?

[ + 66 - ] Comment quote №14563
 17.02.2009
One day, my former chemist from school invited me for tea. Well to do - my favorite student went to FMSH)) I come to her home and see the following picture with oil:
The teacher’s son is 5-6 years old. He stands at the table, on which lies an open chemistry textbook for the 8th grade on the subject of Ionic crystalline grids. The boy is trying to mix something in the water. I ask :

Do you disturb?

The salt!

And you know why salt and sugar dissolve well and chocolate doesn’t?

To which little gives out an entirely ingenious phrase:

The Chocolate Molecule! They are non-polar!!So they are not prone to dissociation in polar solvents!!! to

I thought I knew chemistry.)

[ + 62 - ] Comment quote №14562
 17.02.2009
We sit behind the compass, we look right.
Give me a mouse.
I: I will not
She: Then I will not give!

It’s a bad girl, and you won’t argue :)

[ + 45 - ] Comment quote №14561
 17.02.2009
Conversation with one man. It works as an admin in a false.
A lot of compounds?
- Nea, a piece of 15, the main thing is not worth any license wheel.
Are they not afraid of checks and checks?

[ + 56 - ] Comment quote №14560
 17.02.2009
1st :
Yesterday I read a book on how to diversify family sex. There is a recommendation of the type "dediciate one day to the realization of your hidden fantasies". What if I have a hidden fantasy – to blow my boss in the mouth, and when he sits down, cut off his neck and fuck him in the throat?

2nd :
if you have such fantasies, then I recommend for the future to mistake less windows, and for today to go after lunch for calculation and work.

1st :
Sergey Valentinovich, I am purely in the sense of "and suddenly"!

2nd :
And I am not. I wait after lunch. I also realize my fantasies.

[ + 71 - ] Comment quote №14559
 17.02.2009
Last day with my friend. A classic of the Russian genre.
The Winter. and slide. He is on the new "Mitsubishi Pagero", in front of him - the old six, before that - GAZ-66 with a military driver (!) by Driving. In front of all this sausage is a crossroads.
Gas sharply on the brakes (the military can’t do otherwise!) and Glamour. The “shoha” slightly enters it, and my friend, Ess-nno, gently holds it behind.
A friend comes out in upset feelings, shakes his pockets for money, is going to solve the issue (he is completely guilty!and tk. Since yesterday, it hasn’t gone out yet. A guy comes out of the jiggle, stretches him 5,000 pieces and with a breathing in his voice barely says: "Man, let go!" It sounds like even a friend can hear it. At the crossroads there are three (!) The DPS car. Good-hearted goats hang along the road in confusion. The sounds of the strikes were — but no one blinked by the accident and ran to them.
At this time, wet from horror, the young soldier, not even feeling that behind him was caught, and closing this most luxurious back of our main characters from the gait, tries to get started. And he doesn’t even understand their increased attention to his humble person.
Without changing his face or saying a word, he takes the money and goes back. The kids sit on the cars, build up, and at this time, just a pre-infarct military is still touching.
All the dishes of NESPACE pass through the crossroads of the guys who have gone astray from the excitement in gray bushlats and hide in the city fog.
The curtain.

[ + 56 - ] Comment quote №14558
 17.02.2009
In Texas crashed hot debris of satellites
From Russia with Love!!!! to

[ + 64 - ] Comment quote №14557
 17.02.2009
Fragment of correspondence on one of the dating sites:

Sergey > Natasha, what do you think about anal sex?

Natalia > I don’t even know what to say... I have no experience. Although once the ex-husband persuaded, promised to buy the shirt... But it didn’t work, or rather, only half went in, then it hurt me... So I bought a half-shirt.

[ + 55 - ] Comment quote №14556
 17.02.2009
xxx: I can even make it out ?
YYY: You don’t have to look at it.)
xxx how is it? ?
XXX: I am a girl!
XXX: I have it by nature.
YYY : GM! I have heard that every girl sooner or later will try to sit on the neck of a guy... But I know that for this purely physiologically it is necessary to stretch the legs! )))
xxx: fuck it!))))))))))))))))))))))))

[ + 60 - ] Comment quote №14555
 17.02.2009
When I am an old aunt,
>> And the wicked man is sure,
>> In the nightmarish lowered socks,
>> It’s also a little bit overwhelming.
>> When I walk I will be with a stick,
>> Chest your crooked nose,
>> With an old coloured washer,
>> On the head instead of the hair,
>> I’m going to be in a hurry.
>> by the irony of fate,
>> My long-awaited prince of fool,
>> My genius of pure beauty,
>> Just look at me in the middle of the eye,
>> And the love dust will disappear,
>> I ask him: "Now!
>> I have to say! Where have you been before?

[ + 64 - ] Comment quote №14554
 17.02.2009
Bring me my flash tomorrow!
xxx: kissing
YYY: I am you too
xxx and uninjured
YYY: O_O what are you talking about?

[ + 59 - ] Comment quote №14553
 17.02.2009
We have in the factory in some workshops such a landscape, which lacks only people who, when meeting, slightly sit and spread their hands to the sides and say "KU!" =)

[ + 51 - ] Comment quote №14552
 17.02.2009
Personally, my childhood dreams collapsed when I found out that Bart Simpson was sounded by a woman.

[ + 51 - ] Comment quote №14551
 17.02.2009
When will I grow up as a big uncle? Or I was brutally deceived.
URG: How is it?
The driver: in his childhood, he always asked – and why the machine doesn’t whisper and the doors don’t open.
Rider: and to me, say, you grow big, buy a real bikini - there will be everything.
Have you recently purchased a new Mitsubishi?
The Rider: Aha And from the morning the same shit doesn’t whisper, doesn’t start, doors don’t open.

[ + 55 - ] Comment quote №14550
 17.02.2009
About myself :
Soft, hairy, very friendly, always smiling not a fool. I take everything from life, not a rider. A slightly glamorous intelligent, not a pedicure.

[ + 44 - ] Comment quote №14549
 17.02.2009
News
In the capital of Mexico, the record number of couples kissing simultaneously has been broken. Representative of the Guinness Book of Records registered 39,897 participants.

[ + 61 - ] Comment quote №14548
 17.02.2009
<xxx> girls take pictures of their breasts to us on February 23... type of gift
<xxx> but only if we are on the 8th of March
<yyy> and I have a photoshop.
<zzz> and I have a gimp)))
<xxx> eye, and I have x@y

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №14547
 17.02.2009
When you do not boast of yourself, it is time to start to boast of others.

by Yuri Tatarkin

[ + 50 - ] Comment quote №14546
 17.02.2009
Recently my son distinguished – on Mother’s Day the teacher told me to draw

children portraits of their mothers, well, and my in the picture of the neighbor's party

He also scratched his breasts. The child wondered what you would say. But the teacher

I decided to show my pedagogical talent and called me to school.

With our joint efforts, we tormented my boy with tears of repentance, and when

When I got out of school, I added a backpack. So they returned home –

I’m in front, behind that clutches. On the road, we were caught by a friend.

In the sanctuary, he took. Dialogue along the way:

What a hiccups?

I painted my breasts.

to whom?

of one mother.

I found something to worry about. When my son was in the first class,

I painted a horse. He painted as he could. The teacher returned

The title is “Draw what is missing.” The boy often

In the forestry there was, there we have horses, slugs with cows, well,

Not thinking long, I decided that there was a shortage of shit. And I painted. well

I painted, a fool, with a sense, you can see that with knowledge of the subject. I am on

The next day the teacher showed me when I was called to school. on this

The painting of the horse is just an appendix to the fox. It turns out that it should have

Drawing the tail. A fool could not just write that he didn’t.

The tail is enough. She spoke to me as if I had painted that shit.

And you are the breasts... Oh, sweet!

I see my boyfriend had fun. Don’t give god now the teacher will force the children

On the 23rd of February, fathers will paint... In laughter!

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