bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 18 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №109539
 17.02.2015
Ukraine cancelled on February 23
X: Someone left without socks and shave foam
And what about March 8?
X: I haven’t heard of it.
My grandmother will not lose her.

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №109538
 17.02.2015
xxx: We were in the kindergarten, if someone was ripped out, then everyone ran to watch how he was ripped out and they were ripped out too. Then it washed the teachers and they also pulled out... We looked at it again and we were pulled out again. It was hell.

So, did you get acquainted with recursion at an early age?

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №109537
 17.02.2015
We want:

Want a fun psychology experiment? Let’s take it all similar to the plot of these “50 Shades” of yours... but He’s not a billionaire, but a poor long-haul driver. Now imagine what the girl would say when she saw his play room. No matter how cool, and in the first place any girl still has a baby.
<3 ( 2 ) ( )

Well yes. I see it directly. We take everything similar to the plot - and here he is, beautiful, slim, well dressed, smelling expensive perfume, offering dates in an expensive entourage, educated, able to support a conversation, the owner of his own successful business - ta-daaaam! The wealthy long-haul driver Christian Grey.

Annie is running:
Two friends are talking:
I have had very different demands on men lately. I think it’s important for me to be kind, gentle, not stupid... Do you think there are more such bankers?

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №109536
 17.02.2015
"In Moscow, a robber died while trying to take a payment terminal"

The future has arrived...

Terminators are not killing people.

Terminals are yes.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №109535
 17.02.2015
Broke the vibrator;-).... technical, iron weighing 10kg, and since the project burned,to speed up the repair process, the manufacturer, sent an employee, from the division of "God, what we don't do", punished him, before getting that iron, no gram, the whole route calculated, tickets bought, sleep, the trip should take a little more than a day in the worst case.This miracle went for three days.And this is what he told us.Come, took this iron, came to the train station, 2 hours before the train, took the bottle, drank, fell asleep, minted, the train left, change the ticket for a later one.I drink a bottle, sink, sink, sink, ride, you take a ticket late, you borrow a ticket, you want to buy it, you want it, you

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №109534
 17.02.2015
News "Why the foldable lights disappeared" on the chips:
1: The safety of pedestrians played no last role.For the same reason, hard figures on the capote, deer, brand emblems, etc. are prohibited.
If the deer were forbidden to drive, it would be okay.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №109533
 17.02.2015
So why not x32, but x86? Where are the 86 numbers from? Per it was a collection or version.
===
I’ll explain, or the newfound doesn’t know.
This was at the end of the 1970s the line of Intel microprocessors with indices 4004, 8008, 8080, 8086 (mod 8088), 80186, 80286, 80386, 80486, Pentium (i586) and all the others under the general designation i686. "8" this means a "8-bit processor", and 6 is the extreme number from "16", the discharge of the data tire.
From this all, everything went into mass mass personnel, starting with 8086 - the Soviet EU computers of the 184th series and Search 1.0x were just on the clones of the Intel 8086/8088. Intel’s 32-bit processors are steel, starting with 80386. So now everything that can theoretically be run on 80386, 80486, i586 or later processors of the same architecture is called compatible with the x86 architecture. This is so :)

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №109532
 17.02.2015
Once in student years, my grandmother persuaded me to get to know a wonderful bridegroom. The boyfriend was invited to a family dinner. And now the whole thing:
I sit, in a meter from me, the "wife" sits, about the same distance from him, my grandmother sits. The groom turns to my grandmother and asks in a secular tone: “And your Olya, who is she studying for?”
They talked a little about me.
I sat down a little longer, realized that no one was going to communicate with me personally, and left. No more promises were made to get acquainted.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №109531
 17.02.2015
It is time for amazing stories.
— — — —
If a person went on hunger strike more than two months ago and is still alive, he is probably doing something wrong.
It is...
A colleague regularly (once a year) starves (only water, nothing to eat at all) for 40-50 days. It says it heals the body (probably he was dying, but I’m not about it).
— — — —
Pralada Jani has lived without food and water for 70 years.
The joke:
A 70-year-old man came to the doctor and said:
I cannot have sex.
This is age.
But my peers say they have sex every day.
You are also talking.

[ + 21 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №109530
 17.02.2015
Not that, but the principle of such - the quote reminded.

I watched some wonderful Italian movie, where the same situation is shown by the eyes of the wife, and the eyes of the husband.
Two completely different stories.)
— — — —
Name in the studio.
= is
The film "11:14" - one event through the eyes of different participants. It is impressive, I recommend. Italian name please.

[ + 20 - ] Comment quote №109529
 17.02.2015
Want a fun psychology experiment? Let’s take it all similar to the plot of these “50 Shades” of yours... but He’s not a billionaire, but a poor long-haul driver. Now imagine what the girl would say when she saw his play room. No matter how cool, and in the first place any girl still has a baby.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №109528
 17.02.2015
I went to the kitchen with cockroaches. The husband sits, eats nuts in sugar, and here one red and healthy splashes right under the vase.
Husband, acki hysterical virgin: Fu, I will not eat these nuts anymore, there is a cockroach!
Mom, on the machine: Okay you, he’s home, clean.

[ + 28 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №109527
 17.02.2015
You read here lazy (not otherwise in tribute to Valentine's Day) gender blurry mixed with attempts to political throws, retaliatory excerpts from historical monographs and discussions of the "Fifty-first shade of the puppy"... and you even miss a little at times when these people discussed the association with an ananas compot, an honest word!

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №109526
 17.02.2015
Svetlana
I don’t know what to do in a normal relationship.
by 16:13:52
Svetlana
by 16:22:13
It is with him to go wherever it is necessary, talk about something, feed, drink, walk out.
fucking
I have a boy early.
Better a dog.

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №109525
 17.02.2015
The dog smashed a soft toy and eaten watt. We sit with my husband in the bathroom forging this matter out of her ass, because it doesn’t go out.
and further dialogue.
I: I'd know that it's for two hours, I'd better find a veterinarian on an avito or a profiteek.
He: Yes, there would be a "specialist of a wide profile".
I: Oh, any student with a pincet. "A specialist is required to get any kind of figi from the dog"
He (notifying that the dog is intrigued by wrapping the watt that has just come out of it): "The work is constant because the dog owners are idiots."

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №109524
 17.02.2015
In a new interview, Martin said that in Season 5, characters who have not yet died in books will die, so even book fans will be upset. Maybe 7 or 8 or 9. The series is only renewed for one or two seasons each time.
yyy: This description imagines a series in which the characters occasionally make an unexpected 'brick and die' right in the middle of a conversation - and a laugh every time it happens.

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №109523
 17.02.2015
Beware of:

He distanced himself and did not allow him to get closer: "It is not possible. You are young, you can meet your true love!"
Yes, I am young. Only 31 are divorced. How do I tell him I want to be with him? If he never told me "you"?

You are not together yet, and he has already turned you off. How about the classic "the less a woman we love..."? He, and it is he who turned the situation so that you are ready to pursue him, whatever it costs, although if you think, such a layout humiliates a woman (and a man in the opposite situation). If he is really decent, but does not want to be with you, he would disappear from your life at your first hint on the relationship - so as not to hurt you even more. So he plays with you as a cat-mouse, and when he finally agrees to respond with reciprocity, you will go crazy of happiness. But it will not last long, because he will start wiping off your legs like a true manipulator. You’ll forget your mom and dad, friends and hobbies, and you’ll dance around each of his lusts. Until you get to the bottom (per after spending many years on it), and getting out of this emotional captivity, you will understand his ex-wives. Run now before it is too late.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №109522
 17.02.2015
How we are behind Japan in development. There are 719 Pokémon species.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №109521
 17.02.2015
_____ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
It’s hard to throw cigarettes out the window. % of
............
Cucumbers are one of the most environmentally friendly types of garbage. What can you say about bags, banks, etc., which are not just falling out of the windows of transportation.
-----------
The cucumbers that flew out of the window are ‘ecological’ until the untouched falls on your bacon or flies into the eye. The latter, in case of being thrown out of the window of transport, is very even likely.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №109520
 17.02.2015
Some street singers have such voices that they don’t want to give them money, but to take what they have.

There are two types of street singers: one gives money to sing, the other gives money to silence.

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