Comments on the forum:
From the broadcast about animals:
Rats have always been surprised by their ability to adapt to circumstances. They succeed in living at a depth of several hundred meters in mines, feeding on clothes and mining feces. Miners love animals and often feed them.
Fecaly... Fecaly

I ordered a computer for 1500 UAH. I’m going to play new games and watch porn.
- Lisha, for these virgins you could have ordered live porn blues))))))))

Andrei: I think what would happen if I poured a dog with a valerian and roasted a cat?

A commentary to the article on the melodrama in which N. Portman must play the woman who has stopped aging:

At what age does it stop getting old? When you’re young, there’s nothing original. But if she stopped aging at 80, it would be fresh and interesting. See how a grandmother with a bunch of old-age sores lives on retirement. First, the children hope for an apartment after her death, the children die, begin to wait for grandchildren. The pension fund protects from payments.

What is your name?
and IRA.
I am rustic!
to Goodbye!

XHHH: Gygyggy, the current that discovered a funny fact about a colleague
xxx: he has a melody on his mother's ringtone, a song he absolutely loves.
xxx: and the song is a gentle voice-songed whistle in English, I still immediately thought - it's even more sweet than the girl ringtones about "this is me, your mom calls."
xxxh: and the next day I learn that this is a whirlwind - the main theme to the pisset of what terrible shooter with the sea of bloodshed, in the trailer under this melody well naturally consistent "bloodshedspidorassilonahu" :D
Oh no, well, considering that I heard this song five times a day over the course of a year, now I am not surprised by the choice of ringtone :D

From the forum about the film Smurfs:

A good movie for children to enjoy. Who writes that shit that shit that shit the shit the shit the shit the shit the movie for us the child not for you the cheap

I sit somewhere in the bathroom, I hear in the room the phone is ringing, well I think there is a telephone with it! The further dialogue...
-Hello says the auto respondent leave your message after the signal.Thank you.
-Hello you are concerned about the auto balance, we recommend you to fill the account for the current month.
People think, the technician is already starting to communicate! O_O

The nightmare of Aikido. I have a USB cable thrown from comp to bed, from which I charge my phone and read while I sleep. The rope talks somewhere near the pillow, yesterday fell dead to sleep, the phone did not charge. I dreamed all night that I passionately kissed a girl who bitten my tongue. Then I dreamed I ate ants, which in a strange conjunction of circumstances also bite my tongue)) In short, I woke up in the morning gently squeezing the usb under tension))

Stephen King "The Woman in the Chamber" (70s story)

The walls are painted in two colors: brown on the bottom and white on the top.He thinks that of the two-color combinations more craving, compared to brown and white, is only black and pink.

He knew it already!

The child goes into the kitchen, the wife preserves something there. He asks:
Son: Mom, what are these letters?
My wife is fucking.
My son is surprised: Fuck. This is Mathew!
Wife: Well, the word is bad, but this is how the plant is called.
Son, smiling: And the plant "Your Mother" is?
The second day :)

XXVI Summer Universiade. Competition in sports gymnastics. Japanese gymnast - miniature, like all Asian women in this sport. The show ended, followed by another Japanese. Even more miniature. It would seem that there is no less. It turns out.
Commentary: "Well, here’s another... Oh..."

You use Windows – you pay for the war in Iraq/Afghanistan/Libya.

Instructions: This is if you are using [licensed] Windows.
And our people are mostly opposed to the war in Iraq / Afghanistan / Libya!!! to

What kind of toy can be installed to crack it on the net together with Lenka? Preferably a strategy.
-stronghold 2, WOW, ambulance)))
Sun, we want to occupy the evening, not half a life.

Smoking in hotels, cafes, nightclubs, as well as filming movies and TV shows with smoking characters is prohibited since 2015.
Will there be no more movies about Sherlock Holmes? Can old people even show up with smokers? And then it happens, in the story it is necessary. There are always fools.
yyy: There will be special shops for smokers, such as sex shops. There will be sales in opaque packages of magazines and movies where people do THIS.

I'm going to my wedding today.
XXX: That’s why I don’t work
Whose wedding is it?
XXX is Lenin :)
YYY: He is dead a long time ago!

xxh: my mom bought a cache, I decided to look in the internet, how it looks when unclean, called my mom to show pictures, for half a minute maximum cut off it, she left the pig kidneys cut in the kitchen, returned to the kitchen, and there our cat stands on the seat and folds from the table to the floor one piece after the other, and at the bottom the cat and their son eat fast-falled meat. Mom went to the kitchen, the cat saw her and went down to the family to grab meat))))))collectively worked )))))

Sasha: I generally believe that supporting trees with wooden sticks is like making bones from people’s bones!

Announcement in the newspaper:
The computer club requires a system administrator with knowledge of the program "Linex", z/p 20000 rubles."

There once lived in the area of pepper alone. Treated and adequate. Bukhoy is a whisper, "galakteko in danger!" Well, he usually stretched such an explosive to people - to the local cabbage. The establishments were shaken - two meters tall and ten years of experience, seeing from a distance the pepper wandering in the cabbage, stepped it 5-10 meters from the threshold, and when the pepper was within its reach, - simply put the palm of the pepper on his shoulders and carefully unfolded it. Pepper, not contemplating, not resisting, dropped back, thinking that it was going in the right direction, and if it still returned, it broke out, having fun, methodically repeated the procedure. No scandals and beatings.