bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №133659
 17.09.2016
xxx: I am looking for a model for horse shooting (not TFP) in the 19th century style. Example of the desired.
The shooting will take from half an hour, out about 30 photos in basic processing, 5 with retouch. Examples of work on the page.
Details of L.
WOW: It is strange that the ad does not indicate the desired gender of the model, type or age.
XHH: apparently all the requirements in the Ls are spoken ))))
Would you write? My grandfather is sitting in the village. Going to a photo session?

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №133658
 17.09.2016
You are here about children’s playgrounds. And I have an artillery field across the river.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №133657
 17.09.2016
A Russian actor?! to
by Baian!
I need more letters!
The acordeon!! to

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №133656
 17.09.2016
Any self-respecting grandson should at once sit a pot of borscht and a bowl of cakes. For whom did my grandmother cook it?

[ + 37 - ] Comment quote №133655
 17.09.2016
We are looking for a car park at the house, he found it, parks, asks: how are you here?
I say "I agree"
Husband: "the last time you said "I agree" everything turned pretty fucking"
I: "is it about our marriage?"
Husband: Well, in general, I meant a restaurant we visited a few days ago, but your response struck me a little.

[ + 39 - ] Comment quote №133654
 17.09.2016
XXX: How did you already fuck the linguists...
YYY: After "fuck" is a need for a pencil.

[ + 23 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №133653
 17.09.2016
It is not the Colonel who is rich who has billions, but the Colonel to whom he is subordinate.

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №133652
 17.09.2016
My neighbor had a parrot. Talented too much. In a short period of time, he learned to reproduce the sound of the doorbell. A poor neighbor opened the door twenty times a day. She was given a dog for her birthday. And the frequent run to the door stopped, because when the door was really ringing, the dog laughed. The owner was walking, not able to rejoice with his dog. But her happiness did not last long. Two weeks later, the poppy began to “call” and then cried.

[ + 12 - ] Comment quote №133651
 17.09.2016
Soon we will find out how many percent of our people want to live without money and stay.

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №133650
 17.09.2016
" are you preparing? Let me put the croup. Give me water. I am sending Sham! Let me go again. Not enough, send me more!! to

Do you sing? Let me touch the needle. The Keller! Give me another touch! and ah! It is kneeling.

Are you sitting here to rest? Let me sit on my knees! And a tear. I will sit.
andquot;

I didn’t read how much, but I never understood whether she has a cat, or if the man is very compact. I hope it’s about the child.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №133649
 17.09.2016
Deputy Director writes:
If you do not order the repair of the failed equipment in the next quarter, then you will be without money.

[ + 17 - ] Comment quote №133648
 17.09.2016
If it wasn’t for Roskomnadzor’s blocking, would I be told about the existence of the "Porno Grandmothers" resource?

[ + 30 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №133647
 17.09.2016
The manager-girl asks to show how to work in Excel with product labels.
I show...
Write the product name here.
What to write?
Any kind of shit!
I don’t know, write it yourself.
I write "Hunja"... I explain everything further, leaving a thousand fingers in the axel, grey
This shit is all gone, don’t forget!
How else of course!
Then she went to the customer several times to apologize for being shipped to them instead of their beautiful goods.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №133646
 17.09.2016
I agree with those who say that posts about sex are too many. Therefore such a story. At the university running competition (I don’t remember the distance) I met a wonderful girl. Very soon we slept, and I, being not very confident in myself, asked her how she liked it (although with all her appearance she showed in the process that very). She kissed me and said I was just Usain Bolt sex. It was the first and last time I asked such a question to a girl, as well as the most dubious compliment in my life.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №133645
 17.09.2016
Vegans climb Mount Everest to prove they are not weak. They died...

Probably spent all the oxygen to tell companions about their veganism.

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №133644
 17.09.2016
Children’s Misconceptions

In his Soviet childhood, he was convinced that the show "Club of Film Travels" was called "Clubkino's Journey". Obviously I imagined a club of Russian folk tales that rolls and shows the way.
And Duchamp has always called "Duchamp". I was even wondering why this grid with a pen had nothing to do with some unintelligible foolish tube.

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №133643
 17.09.2016
A wallet or life is still a robbery. Theft - silently, robbery - openly, robbery - with violence or threat of its use.

Where did you go, brothers?

AAA: at the Jura.

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №133642
 17.09.2016
The first driving course:
Who are you working for?
- Programmeist
Yes, this is NOT a monitor and we don’t have a restore button.

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №133641
 17.09.2016
zzz: Five Soviet films that can be attributed to the genre of "fantasy"?

by Ilya Muromets. and saddle. The Wizards. Alexander Nevsky. Ivan is terrible.

xxx: "Alexander Nevsky" and "Ivan the Terrible" - is it fantasy?! The original interpretation.

yyy: Predecessors "Game of Thrones" Very similar to!


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