bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №141430
 18.05.2017
I am angry with such a hernia when you are standing on the red light to throw on the crossroads, the green light is lit, and you are throwing 10 for example. The green is burning, and a number of things stand and stand, stand and stand. More than half of the cars cross a crossroads with a distance of 3 cars. Instead of driving a large number of cars at a time, you have to 2-3 red stands. They turn the same way. I turned one, the other, and the distance between them is such that the fringe will enter. Take off such driver's license, let them ride in trams.
What do you think is it possible to apply with such an offer to the GIBDD or this to the Merzleova?
YYY: So why complain? Immediately hit your feet on your face, and how will you fall to get the penis out of your pants and shake in front of it with the words, see the fox?! Do you see how small the distance is?! to

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №141429
 18.05.2017
We were with the family on the market (we trade milk) and we always park in the market near one acquaintance on a minibus.
Well spring, all the work, April. The market cats have got cats and they decided to base for some reason near us.
A couple of hours later, I began to hear just a wild cat cuddling from underneath the car of a friend. I look at the car, not there. I look down, not there. I think a man may have taken a cat into the salon. I ask, he says he doesn’t need a cat and I invented it all. I insist because the sound is now clearly either from the cabin or from underneath the hood.
He broke it and here he opens the cap. There, next to the battery, a mom-cat and her small kitten were comfortable, which is sprinkled like a sliced.
Mat, cats in a specially prepared cardboard box for them.
Laughed and went. I come back in half an hour and I hear the whisper again. The neighbor’s car. I tell him, but we decide to unload them to the end of the market so as not to move.
But that is not all!
After a while, the mole is heard from underneath our hat! Reno-Logan is worth protecting! And I open the cap and really there, on our paths and slanges, the kitten is using!!! to
You believe in rebirth.
100%, in a past life this cat was a cowboy.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №141428
 18.05.2017
After Ukraine blocked Yandex, Odnoklassniki, VKontakte and others, the Supreme Commander-in-Chief congratulated the Russian troops on the unconditional surrender of the enemy.

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №141427
 18.05.2017
by Peter. Larek with baking of Caucasian cuisine, well there lavash, hachapuri and all that. There are a lot of such larvae, but this works for a very long time, and has a stunning range, quality and taste are defined simply - the larvae is always in turn, and by six o’clock, everything is calculated, there are only biscuits unusual for the Caucasus. I leave work, I understand that I have to drive home at least an hour, and I want to eat very much. I approach the bar, adjust in a row, and at some point I realize that the couple standing in front of me is talking in English. Not English, not American, but my native language. It’s unclear what they do in the most trivial food market, but they do. Their turn comes, and the man begins to make an order, in English, and I understand with horror that the young guy (!) He responds in English, and in the course of the case explains the composition of some "cake", using beef instead of meat, and even scallion instead of onion, because one of the kinds of open cake is actually filled with green onions. I am silent about times and articles. A fluent, literate, pure English language. I took a cake with meat and ran into the car, terrified to realize that the English of this twenty-year-old lavacheem trader was better than mine. Peter is the cultural capital.

[ + 20 - ] Comment quote №141426
 18.05.2017
Yandex in Ukraine was blocked for the fact that on the search query "glory to Ukraine" it does not answer "heroes of glory".

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №141425
 18.05.2017
"Sani had an ordinary young family.
It was a poor, but rather bright and spacious apartment, with normal repairs and furniture.
There were even attractions, for future children, and what to say, for Sani too. There was a runway and Swedish walls.
Sanya worked at home and tried to get the maximum profit, bringing joy and pleasure to people. His wife helped him in this, to the extent of her ability.
There was food for everyone and always. My relationship with my wife was warm and normal. She temporarily did not work and was engaged in the arrangement of the home nest.
Then my wife became pregnant. Then I gave birth. The Four!
On the occasion of the birth there were many guests, everyone wanted to see, touch the newborns.
After the guests left, Sani’s wife killed all the children. It suffocated. and bite.
Sanna killed her wife.
Because Sanya was a hammer."

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №141424
 18.05.2017
We have a proger, obviously someone’s son. The toys are constantly open and you can see that a person is doing something wrong all day.
I’m here this morning and the plugs are open. On lunch I pass by - MSDN, in the evening I leave - stackoverflow. Fuck, I think maybe it happened to the boy... I ask a colleague, maybe he knows...
Yes, says his colleague, he’s getting deadline soon. This is %NAME% from the bagtracker.
Then I met Zen. This is the only test in our department. And it is enough for forty men.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №141423
 18.05.2017
Morning of Esther.

I took a batch of crude sausage and a sharp knife.
Carefully cut off a dozen slices, making sure they were not thicker than one millimeter.

Elegantly crushed everything into one piece and eaten, squeezing and squeezing with the nose.

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №141422
 18.05.2017
Fuck, what has started again? Vegans are not vegans.

Eat whatever you want and in any quantity, even steaks, even grass, even urine drink, just do not teach me to live!!! And then every second is confident that without his wonderful diet, I will ride horses in a year.

One here proved that the Egyptian pharaohs ate exclusively grapes and the clever Roman patricians did not eat meat. Even if I imagine that this is really the case, why should this be an example for me, given that their life expectancy was 25-35 years?

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №141421
 18.05.2017
The xxx:
... the bugs. What Koresh writes, says, receive a letter for me, I will ask to send to your mail. Okay, I say, I used the soap myself, registered him a box, I download the login line, he answers: "Yes, real mail, paper letter, I mean, fuck, I live in the trailer!" =)

[ + 37 - ] Comment quote №141420
 18.05.2017
About the "Out of Meat"
I work in a doctorship, pediatric focus of narrow specialization. Preference for certain types of food (sweet, protein, spicy) in our area is symptomatic.
Well so here.
99 out of 100 moms on the question "Does a child love sweets?" answer "All children love sweets!" “What is it that eats from sweets?” – “And we do not give, for it is harmful!” In the case of in-depth inquiries, it is revealed that bananas, curaca and honey are not "sweet" in their understanding. Well, well, yes... pancreatic, of course, the way to make a certain molecule archived, yes. The fact that the potato pure is one solid starch and essentially the same sugar (which is told in the 5th grade of school, so, by the way) these fools have not heard.
With meat – the same fucking "meat he doesn’t eat! I don’t eat at all!" Cottlets, sausages, peelings, pizza with sausage and the sausage itself, fish, chicken, crab sticks and even shishel is not meat. Meat, according to moms, is exclusively pork. And the cocklets from this same pig have nothing to do with meat.
So if a momm begins to talk about the fact that her child "do not eat meat", you need to worry about her right away and from a high bell. She has a cerebral placenta.

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №141419
 18.05.2017
18-year-old Rifat Shaaruk from India created the world's lightest satellite - 64 grams.

"It will have a new type of on-board computer and eight built-in sensors to measure the acceleration, rotation and magnetosphere of the Earth," said the young scientist about his 4-cm cubic creation.

The satellite of the Earth can be anything - coin, dust, my swallow.

YYY: As soon as your swallow learns how to measure the magnetosphere of the earth, people from NASA will come for you.


[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №141418
 18.05.2017
It is as if the Inquisition had ended, the Enlightenment and all that around, and in all the shops torture tools, because people have torture in their youth, and they are bored. You can’t just throw away your youth.

[ + 25 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №141417
 18.05.2017
The difference is that a slave can be killed, mutilated, cooked, not fed, raped.

We can’t cook it, we’re vegans.

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