bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 24 - ] [4 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №158045
 18.05.2022
The beginning of zero. I meet a girl O. Beautiful, young, studying at the school. He lives in the neighboring area. In October or November, we celebrate her birthday in a cafe near her home. There were a couple of her friends. Then another couple, a guy with a girl sat down. Then the friends of this couple painted. Everyone ordered salads and drinks. And at some point I decided to ask her - And on whose account the banquet. She, already drunk, - I have a little, but in general, I thought you would pay!)) Mistake it, I think. The money is not very much, the more the gift I have already given and spent it decently. Well I think okay. I'll find out a little bit about the guests, how aboutët finance? Those in rejection, say, our friends brought us, there is no money, we did not sign anything, in short. They swim, I think. Here my O. got bad, I had to take her to the toilet, there to keep her hair over the toilet) The waitress, well, had time to say that no one else ordered anything and asked for the bill. The money went straight. It was empty, and the guests added some coins. More and more!) Home I walk about 15 km. He is not smiling at all. This body is drunk in front of her house and I say I go to her for the night. I have not known her parents yet. Her mother was a librarian and her father an engineer. Intelligence is meant. She, drunk and drunk, but tried to tell me to stay with her, said, uncomfortable, they have a two-bedroom apartment and I have no place to sleep. But I said that I could spend the night in the kitchen, but I would not walk home at night in the ugly cold weather. My mother opened the door. This is a typical library. With glasses and a dirty dress. I was stressed. I was even more stressed when I hit my nose with the odor of cat urine. (from O. sometimes also smelled a cat, but I tried not to pay attention to it) Okay, come in, the daughter she helped break-up, there they met. Daddy didn’t even get out of the bedroom. The mother was not surprised by the condition of the daughter or did not look, although I saw O. for the first time) went to the kitchen. There really is shit. And the turtles. Fuck, they were building there. everywhere. Mom offered to eat chicken and opened the cover from the bowl on the plate. A tiger came out of there. Yes, a cockroach came out of the bowl with the chicken and my mom didn’t bother. My O. looked at me with the appearance: I was trying to tell you away) I also refused the tea, saying that we were already fed and drunk after the coffee and I would just switch to them until 06.00, and there I am on the bus home and to work. I was ready to walk, at least all night. I was laid in bed in the room. Even fresh bed clothes. From which it still smelled like a cat's snack, somehow until the morning, he jumped up to the alarm clock and ran away without breakfast. I didn’t see O. anymore, although she and her friend had broken my phone for a couple of months. I couldn’t be with her after seeing her anymore. Don’t think of me as a dull and snob. The girl was already quite adult and, if desired, could attach a hand to bringing order and observance of basic sanitary norms. Especially as a teacher.

As far as I can remember, I’ll crack it out 😉

[ + 16 - ] Comment quote №158044
 18.05.2022
In the pursuit of a long ruble, it is possible to play in a long box.

[ + 50 - ] Comment quote №158043
 18.05.2022
At one time, he also encountered arguments from neighbors: "To complain about drinking in the entrance / loud music / parking on the lawn? Are you a knocker?“”
I have to admit, at first it was out of the track. Then there was a counterdood: to knock - to surrender. Those who sit in the entrance, spoil the lawn so as not to go from the car extra meters, puts on the comfort of the neighbors (my included) I do not own.
The neighbors changed their rhetoric. The argument works in similar situations in networks.

[ + 36 - ] Comment quote №158042
 18.05.2022
A guy walks with a girl, talks, hugs. Suddenly Helic comes in and stops next to them. The door opens in the helicopter.
The girl quickly pulls off her hand from the guy and moves toward the car. A man asks a girl:
You are where?
Sorry, you’re good, but he’s rich.
He sits in the car and the guy in the car says:
Girl, I didn’t stop for you.
For whom then?
For this young man.
Why Why?
I am his personal driver.

[ + 45 - ] Comment quote №158041
 18.05.2022
Xxx: An average of 20-30 flights per year, half of which are eight-hour. I have nothing against the children, but in the air they most often go into the category of "sick kid kids." It only helps to cross away, but it is not always possible not to get into the affected zone) it would be cool if there were separate zones for passengers with children on long-distance flights. With good noise insulation and voluntary accommodation of childless passengers with incomplete loading



Yyy: I asked to stay away from the children, but I was rejected on the pretext that you cannot stay away from the children if you are their parent.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №158040
 18.05.2022
In school, in sixth or seventh grade, I was alone at home. My parents went to the village for two weeks. In the evening, at 23:00, I decided to wash in the shower. I get out of the bathroom and see in the room in the darkness somebody sitting on the corks. There is no light in the house because we are saving, but even so I see His silhouette! I look like a human, but my hands are long and thin, and the main thing is that it looks at me! Many people say a person from fear escapes or prepares to defend himself. But no, when something is like a person before you, but not a person, the fear is completely different. I stood without movement, my whole body was paralyzed, my hair started to rise. And he looked at me. in the emphasis. without moving. In the 20 to 40 seconds I probably stood like that. Then my eyes became accustomed to the darkness and I saw that it was a pale umbrella! The thin hand of the creature is his pen, and the eyes are the sluts on which the umbrella closes when it folds. It turned out that the parents arrived at night, brought some things, left an open umbrella in the room so that the man could worship, and went for other things that were left in the car. But damn, I remember those 20-40 seconds as if it was yesterday.

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №158039
 18.05.2022
He was small, 30+ years ago.. his parents went to the cinema, to a video salon in the early 90s. I stayed at home with my youngest (I am about 11 years old). I am bored to go for a walk. My parents came back late. And the sister fell asleep at home, about 9-10 in the evening, and did not open to me. I ring, knock on the door, stand next to the door, on the 3rd floor... And I understand that someone went into the entrance, and stood for a while, and began to climb up. Well, I think to the second or neighbors. Again, late time, but most importantly, it’s up quietly! And in the dark! There is no light anywhere. I jumped off the door and hid in the opposite, dark, corner. Some adult, tall body, got up and stopped on this floor, and then, Fuck, it doesn’t move! I stood in the dark for a long time, my eyes got accustomed, I saw his silhouette, against the background of general darkness. He clung to the wall and I could not even hear his breath. He saw, became accustomed to the darkness, and his hearing was sharpened - he, the shit, heard me in the darkness. He put his hands apart, sat down, and quietly, silently, moved from the wall, towards me! Fuck, at that moment, I even smelled myself, stumped! I took a few steps in front of him, lay on the floor, and all this silently.. He passed by, and did not touch me - I was lower.. I probably at that moment broke the record of shortness of breath.. When he passed me, I, just as silently, got up and went to the stairs and began to descend. The floor below, I began to breathe, at that time, my heart was beating, all over the entrance. He also quietly came out of the entrance, and ran, behind the cars, lay under the rear tamper, alone. I saw who came out of the entrance, after 20 minutes. he stood in a dark corner of min 5, and quickly dropped. I lay for another hour. Then, through the neighboring entrance, through the loft, came to the door. I was even eager to call her. The sister woke up and opened. I flew home, closed all the locks, and almost cut off my sister.

The best quotes and jokes from the bezdna