bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 65 - ] Comment quote №20505
 18.09.2009
and useless_faq

Are the vampires?
You know the hematogen, right?

[ + 115 - ] Comment quote №20504
 18.09.2009
No, I’m not angry when people rub rub rubbish on the street. I get angry when they do it five meters away from the trash.

No, I am not angry with stupid children. I get angry when they start teaching you to live.

No, mine is not angry with illiteracy. Minya is angry when she enters into the meaning of what is written.

No, I am not haunted by emo, goth, gastarbayters, skins, alkashi, mints and other evil. I get angry when they stop behaving like people.

No, I am not angry with Americans, Ukrainians and Georgians. I am angry with their governments.

[ + 66 - ] Comment quote №20503
 18.09.2009
XXX How are you?
I sit here at home all warm and wet.
xxx: well her this job, I go to you, sweets to get?
You are stupid!! Take the medication. I have a fever of 39 and I sweat.

[ + 67 - ] Comment quote №20502
 18.09.2009
Sword
Article by Medvedev
We need money and technology from Europe, America, Asia.

Sword
Here it is

Sword
I want peace, I want everything.

[ + 62 - ] Comment quote №20501
 18.09.2009
Tortilla: My - a lover of tasty eating, and I am running the egg to my 27s mastered.And then I regularly forget, and it burns. My already rubs and mosques, the situation is critical. Help to preserve the cell of society!!! to
I am not a puppy, puppy! 😉 I’m not going to teach you the subtleties of cooking bechbarmak or Korean cold coxy soup!))) But once you’ve done with eggs (with chickens, milk!I’ll give you an omelette.)
Eternal Journey: Write small: took 50-100 grams of bacon, cut, cut, cubes. Cut a couple of slices of black, shrimp, bread!Cubs, fuck, small!2 eggs hit with 100 ml of milk. Salt is not there. Close up and listen!! Bacon and bread on a slow, attic lamb, roast!! A couple of minutes. Then we will also pour the hammered kinza and black pepper there, holding down the breath, the holy patamusta! We pour the contents with broken eggs. Wait a few minutes until the omelette takes shape, and then generously cover it with roasted cheese. And do not fuck me mosquito in proportions, cheese omelette not to spread out! And, as soon as the cheese floated - this is not beyond the mountains, here I personally squeeze the omelette with tar (in Israel, they taught, it is such a mixture of melted lemon leaves with peanut seeds and salt). There is no straw - we cut a small kinza and we drip it!!!!..
Then you throw it on your plate, you pour a stack and you say, “Eat, my beloved!”! to
(within 2 days)
Torta to Eternal Jurn: Teach me to cook! He got out of that omelette! Pick up the recipes!

[ + 67 - ] Comment quote №20500
 18.09.2009
<She> you are a sad cock!!! to
<ON> decreasing-loving from "dirty joke"?

[ + 50 - ] Comment quote №20499
 18.09.2009
Why did I wake up today and you left?
She: ]:->
He is: What?
You are a stupid idiot!
You will sleep with your guitar.
He: What has happened?
It is: Nothing!
He: Well then don’t stumble if nothing.
Do you remember what you did this morning?
He was sleeping.
She: That is the fucking thing!
She: This morning you go through a dream to hug me with the words "My beloved, go to me". I, pleased with this awakening, embrace you in response... and you know what I hear? "My El Te De... beautiful"
It is *ROFL*
She: I say, “What kind of LTD?” and you, cattle, open one eye, say with a serious look, “E-Ce Thousand,” turn around, and again gently add “deluxe.” And you sleep!
He is: *ROFL* *ROFL* *ROFL*
She is a fool...
Don’t worry, I love you as much as I love you 😉
She: And I am you :-*

[ + 75 - ] Comment quote №20498
 18.09.2009
Your hands are growing out of your ass!! to
The feet are called.

[ + 55 - ] Comment quote №20497
 18.09.2009
From the game forum:
In the game, my stalker automatically turns to the left and up...what do I do? It is (

Desert Eagle: Postal3, The steering wheel is accidentally unconnected to the computer? I had exactly the same problem in Dead Space because the steering wheel was connected.

Postal3: Now I disconnect... I had no idea what this could be from behind the wheel... anyway the glucose remained =((
Added in 1 minute
Oh, I had to turn off the guitar from Guitar Hero 3... now everything works perfectly, thank you!!! by Yahoo*

[ + 61 - ] Comment quote №20496
 18.09.2009
At the airport, the ground metro will be held.
EVGENY: When did you not say?
Your kids will ride, don’t worry.
Evgeny: To my grandchildren

[ + 77 - ] Comment quote №20495
 18.09.2009
In response to:

The most annoying wreckage is when you are in the toilet as an orderly raise the chair, you begin to suck and at this moment the chair falls.

_____________________________________

The most annoying wreckage is when you get to catch it.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №20494
 18.09.2009
Humanity is the maximum that has survived from monkeys.
by Vasily Jursa

[ + 39 - ] Comment quote №20493
 18.09.2009
About one small but courageous dog and one experienced but unmarried kinologist.

“Yes, and in anger I am a bite.”
(A lovely lady is dedicated)

I had a friend, a neighbor on the floor below, Valera-cinologist. The real.
Half life at the border. Then he resigned, returned home, went to the IMD. A filmmaker again. He can do nothing more. But in their business what to look for. At home in free time from work began to work the same. There is no shortage in the clientele, from those wishing to inject their dogs the right skills is a line.

Do you have to think about yourself too? Under forty, never married. The whole family is a German Shepherd. If a man’s house is not filled with children’s laughter by the age of forty, it is filled with empty bottles. The French are full of nightmares. And we, the French, are not a decree, we are ourselves, whoever we are, and he slowly began to look after the companion of life.

Where to take? At first, I looked at the close circle of clients. The skills of flirting over the long years of harsh border boundaries are lost? At least there is something to talk about, well. Well, and again, in the midst of fanatical dogs, his authority is as high as it can be, which is not important.

And here it is, according to the proverb about the hunter and the beast, and she appears.
The lady of his dreams. With the traditional question "Do you not look at my dog, to educate in her security skills? We were told that you
Great Master!” he saw, immediately understood – you have to take! “Why does he say not to look? Bring the clocks to the five of your wolves tomorrow.”

And the next morning, he just finished his class with one shepherd, about five, this lady appears. He asks, “Where is your terrible dog?”
To what, not a little embarrassed, gets because of the sinuses and stretches him a natural bowl with large frightened eyes. The kinologist swallowed the piece in his throat, coughed, and cautiously, for every case, quietly asks, "It's a joke, right?"

The lady in response surprisingly knocks on the same as the bullka with round beautiful eyes. “Why is this a joke?” “But it’s not a service dog, it’s a decorative dog?”“The special says. “Well and what? The lady is surprised again. - Well, she can be trained there for some special teams, receptions! You don’t see that she’s small! It is a very brave and intelligent dog! She just lacks a little skill. “A very good guard!”

What kind of guard? – says the specialist, feeling already bored by a failed novel. What are you doing nonsense? But she will see it, and it will be described.”He shrugged his hand into his hearts, turned and went to finish the class. And the lady dropped her dog to the ground and confusedly scattered her hands. I started watching how real, big, right dogs are trained. And to his marmasette he says, “Look, Julie, learn.” They stand watching.

And the cynologist, in his tooth-proofed vest, in a cotton sleeve, imitates a villain who attacks a defenseless victim. The owner's shepherd somehow not cleverly tries to prevent this matter, confusing the villain under his feet. The evil, imitating fear and sadness, goes off, as if scared of a evil dog. The mistress commands the detention, and the shepherd, unlikely to spin overfeeding his ass, begins to imitate as if the persecution. Strongly yielding in speed and so not especially hasty fool. In the background, the shepherd's master comes in a command cry. In short, such an unconvincing theater is happening. But still exciting. The owner of the bowling, watching this case, also slowly pulls into the plot and even begins to grasp her hands and jump like when watching her favorite series.

The story is heading towards its sad ending. The bad man is already ready to hide in the nearest bushes completely unpunished, the poor shepherd on the move struggles with shortness of breath and human love. At this moment, the most unexpected thing happens. The owner of the bowling once again jumps, loudly knocks on the palms and in despair screams to the shepherd, "Let you finally take it!" And here the bull, of which all in the dust of the pursuit of course forgotten, surprisingly looks at the mistress, crashes from place, a white little bullet unnoticedly flies past the shepherd, on which all the attention of the escaping filmologist is concentrated, makes a sputtering, throwing, and with a dead grip enters his completely unprotected Achilles tendon. And hanging on it. And so he telepatizes on his foot with a white cloth, squeezing and roaring, until the wicked man falls like a bitch.

and short. Spice is injured. Sweaters in the middle. The butterfly hostess makes a-thy-thy and is of course embarrassed. Then they visit the patient, bring him apples, borst in a pot, and walk his dog.
and Gerda. Then consider that the borscht can be cooked directly on site, and if you stay overnight, then there is a great savings of time. Then, three months later, when the leg completely healed and Valera was able to walk without a stick, they married. Dogs have to find a common language. For dogs it is easier.

Here is such an unthinkable story about a small but courageous dog and an unmarried, but experienced cinematologist.

by Amen

P.S Yes is. Fans of true stories, of course, can immediately start to doubt how such a small dog could seriously damage the tendon of such an adult. To be honest, I also suffered from this question. Until, a couple of years later, when their house was finally filled with happy children's laughter, Valera did not reveal the truth to me in the great secret. And even named the amount he had to trick the surgeon in injury, so that in violation of medical ethics to make the correct diagnosis. Because, no matter how cool, for Valera this was the last chance not to miss her happiness.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №20492
 18.09.2009
During the anti-terrorist operation, more than 100 million rubles were seized from the population, spent on the purchase of weapons and explosives.

[ + 51 - ] Comment quote №20491
 18.09.2009
BuLLdoZeR: sitting in the military command filled out the questionnaire))) I read the question: "your attitude to the army"
I just started writing: negative)))) Then I think the daika in the sample))))
What you need to "request" to write

[ + 64 - ] Comment quote №20490
 18.09.2009
A friend called me to fuck just like that.
WOW: What are you waiting for? and :)
Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah
Everything needs to be like people... by love.
Okay, if you are drunk.

[ + 62 - ] Comment quote №20489
 18.09.2009
When we force our daughter to brush her teeth, we scare her with caries. Caries for her is a terrible creature, brown, unwashed and stinky.
Here the wife and daughter went somewhere, on the street the daughter runs to her mother, eyes of 5 copecks, hides behind her and whispers:
There are caries! And it shows a group of standing Tajiks...

[ + 57 - ] Comment quote №20488
 18.09.2009
Lovely girls, advice to you, if you don’t have a computer and you need to fix it, set up it... And you don’t quite understand what and how it works... Find a normal person, and don’t think you are a thin boy who is always small strange and who boldly claims that he is mega, super, axiom, can normally fix you something and set up for just that.

Well, fucking, I understand that once it was expensive, so today it's all simple with it.

P.S "renoz" crazy boast well I don't know what you brought there from another planet, or there that you breed overseas hamsters, but I very much ask you don't even dare to relate to the category of users.

Click "+" may at least a couple of comps save in this world.

[ + 44 - ] Comment quote №20487
 18.09.2009
Discussions on the fate of the car:

- The most correct way to set up the production of wheels and gauges there
To leave everything as it is?

[ + 61 - ] Comment quote №20486
 18.09.2009
To call a tall, pumped, in the roof and chains of a metalist - a wool-haired can only run out of the race, overweight with a tail, a neighbor-grandfather of whom this metalist pissed cherries.

The best quotes and jokes from the bezdna