I’m in the road, behind me two very silent aunts “talking.” Even while I was in the headphones, listening to the audio book, I couldn’t help but hear their dialogue. So then:

My one has broken again!

You are what! And with whom?

You won’t believe it, again!

What is he missing with you?

I don’t know what this cage needs.

– So you’re that, call Man’s husband again, let him study again.

It is a pity that he will go back to traumatology.

What will you do?

I don’t know, maybe I’ll go to Toledo. He is good.

He drinks so.

- And what, drinking does not beat, you were with him while he lived, and he did not touch you with his finger!

This is a wild love multi-angle.

I was invited to my birthday at the pizzeria. The table is covered, everything is beautiful, but for alcohol in the menu only vodka, beer, wine and champagne. A friend of the nominee says that she drinks only a certain type of cognac, the rest can be bad for her. A friend gives me money and asks me to go to the supermarket, buy this same cognac, pour it into a plastic bottle (so that in the cafe they don’t argue about their diarrhea alcohol) and bring it back to the pizzeria.

I take the money, buy a cognac and a bottle of cold tea in the supermarket, go out and begin to spill the content near the bench. A woman passes by and asks with a smile:

“Are you also at the parental meeting?”

A long time ago a friend told me.



I went to the village once after working with my parents. Driving very far. He left the city, travelled on the federal road, turned on a secondary road. I see a girl standing and voting. I don't like to take strangers, but this time I decided to stop, because I already started to fall asleep and thought that the conversation with the girl would excite me.



Asked where she wanted to go, she replied that in one of the villages on the way. We went, we went, we talked. Communicated mainly on general human topics, such as weather, work, politics. It turned out that the girl was married, her husband was a watchdog, she worked in her village as a nurse, went to the city to submit documents to the medical institute. Time has passed unnoticed, there is very little to go. And suddenly she asks, “Listen, and how do I better calculate the way with you?” I wore up. What does it mean how? I did not plan to pay for the trip. She noticed my confusion and added, “Just with money is the tension right now. They are, and I can give a little, but it is better to pay naturally.” I stopped blinking, afraid of luck to scare. The girl is young, very beautiful face, figurative. “Surely my husband has been on the guard for a long time,” it whispered in my head. Can you kill two rabbits at the same time? And for travel to calculate and craving for a man to ease. Without looking at her, he replied, “Maybe in nature.” I felt red at that moment. Tom has agreed.



We went to her village, showed her how to get home, stopped at the gate. She came out of the car: “Everything is in power, we calculate nature?” I cried out. “Wait here a little,” she said and went into the yard. Maybe she decided to put the bed in order, maybe herself. I shut down the engine, removed the keys in the bag. I have never smiled more than then, probably never. I screamed, I turned my head to the sound and suddenly sweated - a strong man with a tail in his hand came out of the courtyard and confidently moved to my side. I picked out the key from the car from the bag, with shaking hands, I began to convulsively tick it into the ignition lock. The man approached and leaned to the open window: “I understand that you agreed with my wife to pay naturally?” I just loudly swallowed the saliva. The man pulled a plastic bag out of the window: “Thank you, friend, for entering the position. Behold, you have two dozen eggs, but you do not leave, I will cut off the meat in the pot now and bring it to you.”



I remember further events confusingly. He took the meat, left, and went to his parents. Only then exhaled.

Once upon a time, one not too thoughtful on the language, a member of the parliament cast in a granite that, say, even the most miserable state speaker is much smarter and more competent than any person on the street. Only this delusion, raised to the rank of axioms, can explain the fact that the State Duma always appreciates the work of the government. Unlike the street.

Wedding in Paganini.
Another wedding story told me by a brother of a friend I knew who knew a man who remembered a man who heard this story from the original source. That is, I tell the story from the first mouth, the words of the direct participant.
So, there is an ordinary city wedding in not the cheapest restaurant of the city of G. Most of the people present at the wedding were respected people in the city, refined intellectuals and newspapers. The rest came to specific boys from the working area, with all their irrevocable attributes, sweet habits and the manner of dressing for solemn events. The fact is that the bridegroom, who began his life path in this same quarter, although he got out in the people, but retained his loyalty to the roots, and considered it a duty of honor to invite old friends to the wedding.
Before the beginning of the feast, the bridegroom approached the tamade and warned: among the guests are persons unloaded with sophisticated manners and the lexicon of the erudite. In an elevated mood, these guys are able to bring some inconvenience to other guests, up to heavy bodily. Nevertheless, they should feel the atmosphere of the holiday fully, as they are desirable guests. Tamada smiled and said he had a solution.
After the first three drinks, Tamada took the microphone and put on an unambiguous chelling:
I ask strong men who are not afraid to test their strength to take part in the contest.
Every word in this phrase was in its place, every word grew out in the already playful soul of the proletariat. Therefore, a whole dozen boys stood up friendly, coughed and approached the front seat with almost a strut box. The remaining guests, due to various circumstances, did not dilute the homogeneous group with foreign elements.
The victorious title of the competition we will drop, stopping only on its essence: the winner is recognized by a team of 3 people, who all drinks 3 bottles of vodka faster. The roles in the team are clearly distributed: one pouches a glass, the other drinks it, the third at this time snacks. Then everyone changes roles and repeats the script. The algorithm ends at the bottom of the third bottle.
According to the eyewitness, all the temporary teams showed a great team game, the players masterfully performed each time a new role, while demonstrating a sense of elbow and care for teammates. This resulted in a very equal confrontation between the teams. As a result, the winners who managed to cope with the half-toralite of the cosrylovka, only a few seconds ahead of the outsiders.
After the distribution of laurels, the whole company went to smoke, and in the smoking room soon broke up with each other, and less than an hour later they all split up as best friends. The total time spent by the boys at the table could hardly be counted as two hours, and by nine o’clock all the proletarian wives received the satisfied bodies of their faithful.
The marriage, which was abandoned by the proletariat, continued in an actful and noble manner, as one character said:
- all like a parade, a towel - there, a tie - here, yes "sorry", yes "please-thank you", and so, really, it is not.
After some time, the bridegroom received a positive response about the event from all participants of the UH team. Everyone, like one, claimed to have witnessed a fairy holiday, without boredom and decadence.
In the words of one of the guests:
This is fucking, yes. Fast, clear and fun. Or the other tamads as Moody will start to spin that by the end of the wedding you start to be sober. Or vice versa, at 2 p.m. you get into the monkey, and tomorrow you go to work in the day. And your tamada is beautiful, everything was crushed, everyone got what they wanted, and 8 in the morning they went out. Give me his phone.

I don’t understand why doctors and teachers and other unconscious citizens complain that they have to work at two rates. After all, our top managers, in addition to nominal positions, sit in dozens of board of directors. Nothing, they are not roaring. They courageously carry their cross.