bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №78961
 19.03.2013
I believe that a problem of this magnitude is not solved every minute. Taking into account all the factors that exist at the moment, as well as assessing the risks that may still arise in the process of restoring your hard drive, plus the importance of the files it contains and the greater probability that they will be irreversibly deleted, I am ready to tell you only that the cost of my work will be slightly different than usual.
She: I was just going to try anal sex, and I was thinking where to start.
I like this way of paying more.
She is: Oh! It was not you! Forget it! and [
The maximum is 100 rubles.
She is: Beautiful! I can put you on the phone.
He said: Oh! It was not you! Forget it!
The suggestion is understandable. 1 to 1 :-(

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №78960
 19.03.2013
In Russia, coffee is cold, the judge is selling, and life is crazy (

[ + 37 - ] Comment quote №78959
 19.03.2013
The cat stumbled, the bullet hit. We decided with his wife to abuse him, read in the inlet that it is necessary to put a bowl with a meal there for him, saying "cats are so purely loving, they never go to the toilet where they eat." In the evening, they put a bowl in the corner where he was sown, fed him there, we wake up in the morning, and the bowl is in the lawn, decided not to clean, they stormed there, I went to work, my wife (J) writes:
10:18 - I think we have a cat from Chelyabinsk
10:19 - Did he eat it all?
He not only ate, he also laughed.
c) Almost in the box
(J) - (X_x)

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №78958
 19.03.2013
My mother burned. Sitting at home, missing, calling me to work:
Q: Do you want me to make you a peanut soup?
I: No need, I have a 2liter pot of borst in the refrigerator
M is ha! and all? So you are that borsch in the evening right out of the pot, DOPEY, and I will cook you a peanut instead of it!
Right here she imagined herself at 9 p.m. in the middle of the kitchen with a dim light drinking 2 liters of borship from a pot.

[ + 36 - ] Comment quote №78957
 19.03.2013
It’s like fucking panda... a rare phenomenon.

Panda: That’s what it’s about, Scuco...

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №78956
 19.03.2013
The first rule of sickness is to never look at images on Google!! to

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №78955
 19.03.2013
A classmate went to jail. I always knew he was a fool.
Funny as a guard.
No, not the prisoner.

[ + 42 - ] Comment quote №78954
 19.03.2013
I am so dumb, so dumb, so dumb!! I collected 2 boxes of my stuff today to send the package home, and decided (learned by the bitter experience of theft from the packages) to put all the shoes one by one, that is, the left shoe in one box, the right in the second, and so all the pairs :-) stumbled specifically, and now I sit and think, and suddenly one box is completely lost??? I will be without shoes!! I’m going to be on the left or on the right :-))))
The Russian Post!!! Go and pray!! It is ?

[ + 43 - ] Comment quote №78953
 19.03.2013
I think, but Bulgakov observed absolutely all the modern norms of a successful comic story and so on.

The master has a cat and a breast, and the devil and td and tp.

That is just perfect :D

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №78952
 19.03.2013
Report on the freeze of bank accounts in Cyprus:

My husband returned from work from the airport, there is the following picture: planes from Russia carry people with empty suitcases. They don’t even hide why they came. But how do you fill these suitcases if the ATMs are already empty? andquot;

[ + 38 - ] Comment quote №78951
 19.03.2013
From Habr:
You can compare it to cars — if you got into cars in the 1950s — it was very cool and few people could.
If you know about cars now, you are a car tracker.

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №78950
 19.03.2013
xxx: I had a problem at the time - I couldn't figure out what botillons were. Whoever I will not ask - everyone is roaring, and nobody answers, they think I am roaring.
YYY: Well it is simple! Shoes are bottylons with decoil!
Zzzz: 0_o A beard is what, shoes in a bikini?

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №78949
 19.03.2013
Rau-io: The horrors of our province. I left the store. There is a grandmother sleeping around the street. He is lying in the face. I thought he fell and he drank water.

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №78948
 19.03.2013
The most difficult thing in the solution of Japanese crosswords is to determine what the resulting cracksavin looks like.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №78947
 19.03.2013
Q: What is the operation?
D: Yes
M: What is it? In the brain? and ;))
D: How did you guess?

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №78946
 19.03.2013
From the company chat:

What is infinite resistance?
Something in the middle between the old lady and 300 Spartans.

[ + 4 - ] [7 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №78945
 19.03.2013
>Don’t talk about monthly – it’s ugly. Say, the mouth has broken.

Oh, and the wicked are sitting here.

[ + 63 - ] Comment quote №78944
 19.03.2013
From one forum:

After one incident in our small town, I realized that the world was mad. He walked like a man on the street with a healthy dog, as it is placed in a dress and on a lead, and drank a beer. The dog saw the cat, pursued it, the owner naturally could not hold the guide. The cat under the car (a stranger is what), the dog didn't have time to brake and with all the hardship wiped the side door inside. The dog was in shock and was driving in the car. In general, the case came to court, led the case won (not surprisingly), but how! The dog was equated to the dog transport, the owner of the dog to the driver of the dog transport, and that in the end by his fault, in the state of alcoholic intoxication occurred, as a result of which he was obliged to pay a fine and deprived of the driver's license for a year! This man did not even have a car. Going for a walk with the dog...

[ + 45 - ] Comment quote №78943
 19.03.2013
Hillary Clinton has for the first time publicly supported the idea of same-sex marriage.
bbb: And I always knew that Hillary Clinton was a pederast.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №78942
 19.03.2013
Perry: I went to my brother. He gets a bottle of wine and says that he ordered wallpapers over the internet, it would be necessary to glue, but they are so dense and unusual that first you need to glue, how and what glue to glue. I opened the second bottle of wine. Gugliel, nothing useful was found. Brother says "Well, let’s write in email questions: "How to paste wallpapers.... after two bottles of wine..."

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