bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №127065
 19.04.2016
to this:
I sell my Opel for Avito, not very hairy years. Clearly without exchange.
But they regularly send such offers, but the most promising is the exchange for ZIL, the Volga and the Nine at once, the Six and the Copey plus the trailer.
Is that in the minds of these people?? to

A small but desperate hope. XD is

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №127064
 19.04.2016
The money tree is dead.
This describes my financial situation very well.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №127063
 19.04.2016
All-Russian Center for Imitation of Public Opinion

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №127062
 19.04.2016
Reviewed by "Travaya".
The plot clearly lacks dynamics, it becomes clear that it was saved on special effects. The director doesn't care - he could add something from himself to make it exciting and modern. And here - a consistent plagiarism - took the ancient text from Piave, the soundtrack from Verdi and word by word, the note in the note was copied.
The costumes are somewhat ancient, now no one wears them.
Unfortunately, the money was wasted on the ticket. It should have been just to drop - it would have been enough to understand that it is not worth going.

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №127061
 19.04.2016
(In the forum is discussed the flooding of the Circuit Road in Yekaterinburg)

He dropped speed for fear of aquaplaning. I did not know about the pit and thought that all the norms with this matter were around.

WOW: from Moscow, where in the MKAD everything is fine. It’s called because it’s better to go around.

[ + 20 - ] Comment quote №127060
 19.04.2016
You have to show me again how to use the washing machine.
- You put the "synthetic", 40 degrees, sleep the powder, turn on.
Why the other regimes?
They are for women.

[ + 18 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №127059
 19.04.2016
>>> What do you think about the name Alexander under the paternity of Sergeevich?
Waiting for son

and valley. We approve.

[ + 24 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №127058
 19.04.2016
No, I do not understand people. Any forum, someone asks a question, one of the first to answer (in detail). Next, 2-3 pages of an occlotemic bots.Then someone overturning your answer answers. All for him – thank you! Fuck, it doesn’t work! Next is a wise man who gives a reference to your answer, and everything is friendly to him - thank you!! to
Do you sit quietly and think I did the wrong thing?

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №127057
 19.04.2016
and em. A washing machine is such a foolish tool that learning to use it on its own is too difficult for a foolish uncle?

>> Mothers who practice hyper-care have the superpower from childhood to repel the desire to be independent in their household. Threats and humiliations. For example, the first time teaching to cook soup, you can mix a child with dirt ten times because he does not know where the ingredients and dishes are stored. Despite the fact that for this reason he is learning and learning. Particularly chic - if you have moved something to a new place for a while before that. Luke has been lying here for a hundred years, and you don’t know?Of course, the bearded noble don could group up, take the risk of breaking the machine and pouring the neighbors, and in the absence of a mother to understand the arrangement of the satanic aggregate... But it is necessary to take into account that here plays rather not some rational fear for the apparatus, but the murder of years of subtle bullying the reflex of submission.
And yes, then such parents sit surprised. Because the son or in the age of forty can still not put the blanket in the carpet (for which it is always possible to humiliate it once again, for the carpet), or breaks out of under the wings and then for some reason does not want to communicate with a loving mom.

[ + 28 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №127056
 19.04.2016
Well yes. How to wash my clothes - so oh, and suddenly I break, and there is a bunch of regimes, to sort by fabrics and flowers, and my friend died from such, maaaamaya!
What will happen to you if you wash everything, hang it, dry it, and start smoothing - wow, you know how many regimes you have?
And as for the baby - yes, she is there at home in a decree / retirement does, then all the little things and attention is not worth it.

[ + 25 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №127055
 19.04.2016
If everything is so sad, then what prevents courteously weighing such "guests"? But, apparently, you are not so sad as long as you tolerate. And why then dwarf?
××××××××
Everything is right. In addition, from really close relatives, also obsessed with a sense of tact, just so, that is, peacefully, you will not get rid of. When our second child was born, we lived in very difficult circumstances. So when the mother-in-law began to rush to come to help (for a couple of thousand kilometers and for a long time) we refused, explaining in detail that there is no place and there is no place for her to sleep. A couple of days later, the mother-in-law was standing in front of the door with a deck under the mouse. She decided that she would sleep in the kitchen, so the problem was solved.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №127054
 19.04.2016
A drunk colleague complains to a friend: "I went to a health food store, I wanted to buy a cocktail for weight loss, and there are some gluconates and sorbents - solid chemistry, I didn't take this poison!"
Apparently, the phrase "gluconates and sorbents" for her means something like "glutamate and preservatives". Harmless calcium and activated charcoal are in vain.

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №127053
 19.04.2016
How can a child be called Milena???? to
This is a black stool when bleeding!

Black stool with bleeding in the gastrointestinal tract - melena.

[ + 19 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №127052
 19.04.2016
20127, Paranoia needs to be treated. Hunting children is a schizophrenia.

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №127051
 19.04.2016
In "French Economics" the question of rare names was studied. Rare names are given by people uneducated, but with claims (in the United States this trend comes from Negro ghettos).

The level of education has just fallen, and the pounds have grown, and that is all.

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №127050
 19.04.2016
kuzneczberg: I honestly admit, my attitude to selfie is ambiguous. First, selfie in Pshek - samojebka, which in itself symbolizes selfie.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №127049
 19.04.2016
Discussions on planners
The man who at this time will know the power of the earth is very jealous.
yyy: Maybe you'll open up a second element, so it's not so bad :D
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
XXX: Call of the fucking demon to land.
Fuck you, I’m chasing you!
Luke, I am your father!
yyy: I slowly cleanse the carrots from sin x)
XXX: 50 Shades of Tomatoes

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №127048
 19.04.2016
Change the cranes. To install my, balls, sanitary refused, exhumed somewhere a couple of good, proven Soviet samples... On the third day they fled in the middle of the white day, when they were all at work, flooding neighbors. When trying to arrange a scandal in the JEK, the chairman killed me with the phrase: "Beautiful cranes, you just probably crushed them." Escaped from this nonsense in order not to get infected, called the sanitary on the announcement, I am pleased with the result.

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №127047
 19.04.2016
Now order was put in the laboratory.
The neighbor took out an old microwave under the table.
Well, everybody ran away - who needed what... it turned out) Who had the ventilator, who had the engine.
Who with the answer, who with the boxer.
A friend came:
You, like blacks, landed on a dead begemot... and each with his machete.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №127046
 19.04.2016
There was a philosopher, Thomas More, who was caught by a thief.
A week later the thief was rescued from Thomas More)))

The best quotes and jokes from the bezdna