bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №128310
 19.05.2016
We have info taken from 1c management where data is transmitted from the accounting and a cache is added. Overall yesterday on the logic found lost 80 million (absorbed broadcast). Eighty million, Carl! This is all you need to know about our office :)

P.S received a prize? I got puzzles that I hadn’t found before. This is all you need to know about the labor market.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №128309
 19.05.2016
Borrow 20366, throw out your smartphone. With it you can control the robot / tank / aircraft / your version. It can analyze geodata with an accuracy of up to 3 meters. With the help of it, you can give a command to destroy an explosive device. With it you can control the printer / CNC station.

Throw off your camera. With it, you can get great quality photos, especially in combination with good lenses.

Throw away the webcam, because if you hide it, you can secretly observe what is happening.

In fact, go to cure. Paranoid and manic-depressive syndrome detected.

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №128308
 19.05.2016
By the way, your wonderful term "enormous basic trust in the world" is synonymous. This is called infantilism. But the phrase you came up with is beautiful, I will probably use it.

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №128307
 19.05.2016
Ah Ah Ah Ah Ah
[ ]
I stand in a row to the box, and on the tape are my purchases: a bunch of bags of cat food and a large box with a lamp. The young man who stood behind me and studied my goods for a long time said loudly, “Oh, girl, what is your cat afraid of eating in the dark?” It was all the turn...

When everything laughs
Correct the brain.
About 90 degrees
You look boring.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №128306
 19.05.2016
From the Voyager Forum.
Discuss video of a masturbating girl shot by a hidden camera.
XXXX is a performance. In the annotation it is stated that she is reading an erotic novel, and at 5 minutes clearly visible barcode by which a collection of algebra tasks for 11th grade is broken.
YYYY I’t be so categorical. Maybe it's a teacher catching up on high school students who will fuck up with these tasks tomorrow.)))
ZZZZ or high school masochist before the control, feeling pain and humiliation :D

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №128305
 19.05.2016
The Shortcuts

Some of the opus are crazy and I admire it. If a woman wears a separate swimsuit instead of a swimsuit, she wants men to look at her. Oh well ok. But if a man was wearing sweaters instead of shorts, he... yes, in general, he also wants men to look at him!
Amazing how much these same men think about themselves - the whole world is doing everything for them!

If the female logic is strange, then what is the male logic?

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №128304
 19.05.2016
First on the billboards appears the story of shorts on the beach, now - about terrible controllers, undoubtedly carrying the death of tranquility and peace.
Who told Mizulina about the debts?

[ + 28 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №128303
 19.05.2016
(CHH works for a large foreign company hated by Linux)
<xxx>: A list of upcoming birthdays hangs on the company's office announcement board, and it says that someone Satanislav is celebrating the daylight on June 6. A mistake or...?

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №128302
 19.05.2016
A respected fool! and scrupulously. Scrupulously, not scrupulously. Please study this question carefully. Not that I’d like to tease you, but if it’s about boredom...

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №128301
 19.05.2016
When everyone is laughing.
An old joke: The Minister told a joke and everyone lay down laughing. Only one person did not laugh. The Minister asks:
Why don’t you laugh?
I am not from your ministry.

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №128300
 19.05.2016
I don’t like Santa: Do you know where the Volga falls?
I once saw the Volga fall into the Fountain, breaking through the fence.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №128299
 19.05.2016
<TopSpin> actually make the same newspaper as in Harry Potter is quite easy. You just have to print the GIF!

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №128298
 19.05.2016
At the age of 12, he suffered from dysentery. Now I often recommend it as a “100% way to lose weight quickly by summer”

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №128297
 19.05.2016
xxx: American scientists have discovered that adult movies can be a means of popularizing religion, reports the Daily Mail.
At the same time, researchers note that when viewing pornography less than once a week, a person’s religiousness may decline.
YYY: Now I understand why I am so devout

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №128296
 19.05.2016
The calculation of the Lightning of Death showed that throwing on the enemy’s head the power source for the Lightning would be much more effective (and more effective) than its direct application. By the way, if the power source will not be enough - you can throw on the enemy the radiators of the cooling system and the lens system.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №128295
 19.05.2016
The elite prostitutes are curbing the outflow of capital from the country.

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №128294
 19.05.2016
At the beginning of May, I heard it on the radio. about the discount on the passage of veterans loudly outraged - they are already over 90! Where will they go!! Clean water piar.
At 10 am, I get on the train to Saratov. Buy clean and the old man sits. Aunt somehow whipped around, the railway fairy nailed him, the man baul arranged. and vanity.
Grandfather pulled them off quickly - remove it says, I will continue to set up myself. Very clearly and powerfully. Everyone stumbled in a moment. I touched and I touched. They met. My grandfather was named Boris. 94 years. Half an hour later he decided to eat and with a trick like this: And what, there will be no drink? I put out a bottle of cognac, and my grandfather vodka. Nolily, they ate, well, and I see that grandfather was strong, began to ask about the war. He told me simple and ordinary, as if it was yesterday. And about the lack of communication in the troops, and about the fact that even in the aviation only the commander of the line had a racy, and the rest were winged... He told that the liars-historians still repeat about the fraudulent attack... What they do not want to know about the fact that the Germans in advance the note was presented about the beginning of the war, a memorandum on many pages: for what reasons... At the same time, all the time hit the open door of the coupe and looked at the passers occasionally on the wagon, and then asked to close it.
He also told about how he himself rescued guns from the reserve of the Commander-in-Chief’s Stack in Ukraine at 41. More than 200 guns were cut off after the air strike, but the cars and tractors were bombed.... We found several tractors in nearby colloquials and MTS and brought dozens of guns on them. The others exploded.
To his only delivered six.Yes, and the fighters brought half of the 32..
And in May 45, somewhere in Hungary, celebrating the victory with three friends officers, I told this story and about the fact that it was the lack of leadership and communication with the troops that cost us in 41 almost the entire personnel army (about 6 million. of man). In the morning, two "friends" wrote a personal note and he received 10 years of camps. I am glad that you have the right to mail.
Grandfather fell asleep peacefully, and I never fell asleep until Saratov. How not to get angry? They survived...

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №128293
 19.05.2016
A tough job for the president. Wherever you look, they steal. Shooting anyone is yours.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №128292
 19.05.2016
And again on the theme of beach shorts, sweaters and Europe ))))
Again diving, again a ship (on the beach in a bunch of people it is difficult to orient who is who). 19 people on board. Four Russians, the rest German-Italian-Dutch. The local team is Thai.
So it turned out that a couple of Germans (both over 40 years) and a couple of Italians (young guys, 25 years old may) turned out to be the forming couple of gay. Both were in beach and bath shorts (I am the one who claims that in Europe they are in swimsuits). Everyone else is different, who in what. It depends, first of all, on who is more comfortable. If you jump off the ship and go shopping, you swim in them. As under the water - changed for swimming "boxers" - for short water costumes to wear uncomfortable...

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №128291
 19.05.2016
At work, when an employee of another company is stupid by gesture
How I hate this creature.
Do you know how many people are around? You only hate one.
Zzzz: The Funny Man

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