A year of low-cost flights taught me better to pack my backpack than twelve years of role-playing games.

The East is a delicate affair, Petruha

“In Japan, traces of fatigue in the form of bags under the eyes are considered a symbol of beauty. This is incredible, but here in the shops you can even find packing bags in the form of all sorts of patches or kits, with which you can draw them yourself.”
Well... fine... the work was done, the bags under the eyes were glued, like, look at how we, the hearty ones, were borrowed, the health of the latter did not regret, and did not give up the work to the chief. have to buy.

We are looking at "Three of Prostokvasino". The scene where Pechkin for the first time comes to them with questions.
Matroskin: Why are you interested? Are you from the police by chance?
I am not from the police, I am from the mail. I am a postman here, Pechkin, so I need to know everything to spread the mail!
We: Well yes, the logic of any smartphone application.

Cats are very talented actors. One wakes up at six in the morning – the cat wakes up at five to feed it. The second to work at nine, the cat wakes up at seven, runs hungry crying to the empty bowl, tires the huge begging dishes-eyes and convulsively opening the pink mouthpiece to issue a compressed, barely heard grief cry. Three and a half kilos turned into six, but the show continues.

What fashion in the Russians went to the nick. One is called Face. Fuck his face and his face. However, I had to hear him, forgive me, his creativity. Well what I can say after that: no face, the most ordinary Yobich.

Is this the oil house?

and yes.

“I am Alexey Krasov and I will live with you.

Wait, what is this for?

Did you install the program on your computer yesterday?

and yes.

Have you read the license agreement to the end?

No, no one is reading.

- Well, and there, in the end, in small letters, about the fact that I will live with you.

You are chased by the cleaners, you are our heroes.

The cleaners chase everyone, including the director. The only ones who enter an unequal battle are the Sisadmin.

Some jealous Florentines gave their husbands a slow-acting poison in the morning, the antidote from which they kept with them until the evening. If the husband did not return home in the evening, he was doomed to painful pain.

The New Year. After the fight of curants, I and my wife look out the window for continuous salutations. Grochot - through the glass packs sounds beautiful.And here she offers:
Can we capture the world for the next New Year? According to me, nobody will notice... And then everyone will shudder until they go to work from the weekend...

"At the metro station "Filevsky Park" check the homeless object".

The homeless object was in the ass of the drunk head of the metro station "Filevsky Park".

Every time I see ancient ruins in movies, I think – but a certain guy (or a few guys) did not sleep at night, sat down and thought how it would be better, more beautiful, measured, calculated, invented ornaments, hired builders / sculptors / sculptors, reworked, worried...

And all in order that then, thousands of years later, some fools pissed each other on a beautiful background.

I understand that it is the same in the sense, but I will write a different version.

Pessimist: Kutuzov did not have one eye
The optimist: Koutuzov had one eye!

In vain they say that Kutuzov had no eyes, he had eyes!

Vodka is a rare guest in our house.
Do you not drink?
We drink right away...

When a fool praises you, he is alarmed; when he thinks he is his own, he is scared.

Santa Claus

“If a man does not believe in luck, he has not rich life experience.”
by Joseph Conrad

This story happened on December 31, last year.

In an old wooden house, in a deaf village, near Mosaisk, lived a boy Timothy. He lived and longed for the New Year’s miracle, especially on such a day. But how, boy? Not so a boy, at fifty he is a little, but until retirement is still a long way away.

The children grew up, flew around the country, the wife has long gone to earn money in Moscow, and there she stayed. There was no work in the village, so Timothy lived a household: two chickens, eggs, a garden. Occasionally - then there, then here, chopped up, dried mushrooms on the track will sell, in order to earn a couple of live rubles for the utility and for the chicken, so, everything is only his own. Timothy would have long been happy to sleep, but it did not work out, because it also requires any financial investments.

And here, on that last day of the calendar, the man was especially busy. The neighbor, out, all like people: New Year's Eve, a tree, a mandarine, maybe even champagne will drink, or even go to visit, or invite someone to himself. And Timothy, as for evil, the money was left only for bread, even for a hammer is not enough. The grief.

You could, of course, visit a neighbor, but with empty hands, somehow.
You will not go with one bread.
But, New Year's miracle is such a convenient thing, if without it nowhere, it will definitely happen. That day it came to Timothy, who was hopelessly grieved. The whole village still remembers it with envy and whispers. There is something to remember:

- And Timothy is ours, good, as much as he did not tell about himself, such serious and rich friends hid, quietly. Have you heard? On the New Year, from the very morning to him in the courtyard came dear guests: two solid men and a woman with them.
Yes, I have heard, even seen. Did you see what a rich car they were in? All black, fashionable and immediately see what it is worth, like our whole village. and Prim. Author - Running forward, I will confirm that yes, approximately as much as it is worth).
Yes, they walked well, until the evening, drank, ate, laughed, there was a glimpse from the window. Salute from the garden. By the evening, at nine o’clock, they said goodbye to Timothy and left.
A greeting? I remember, of course. It was as bright as day as the red square.

And the neighbors did not know that the magical Santa Claus, to say goodbye to Timothy: a bottle of cognac, a bottle of champagne, a bowl of red caviar, and on the table unnoticed a thousand rubles thrown.
Our boy gathered all this countless New Year's wealth and boldly went to ask for a visit to his neighbor. With ink and champagne, he was already himself as a gift.

They both had a wonderful New Year. Even made friends. They are friends, it’s softly said. Probably all the upcoming New Years, they will also meet together.

So believe, friends, in the new year’s miracle, and it will definitely happen. You will ask, “How?”
Yes, every time in a different way and always unpredictable, the main thing is to really want and be ready for it.
With Timothy, for example, it happened this way:
He woke up neither light nor dawn, in the soul of thirst, in his pockets an empty pack of cigarettes. I was walking around the house, the mood was not new year at all. I put on a fuchsia, went out on the street to breathe the air, and if lucky, then shoot a cigarette.
He looks, in front of his gate is a large black car, the beauty of extraordinary, and next to two Santa Claus (judging by the hats) and a snowmen with them. Timothy greeted, congratulated with the coming New Year and asked:

Have you been stuck for a while? Do you need a scarf?

Clause replied that no, but did not refuse help:

- You see, we go all the way from Minsk, to visit, for the New Year, we still have thirty kilometers, but we didn't count a little, rounded up here and got up. Neither there nor here.
Do you need gasoline?
The point is not, it is much worse. The car is electric and works from the router. Here, if you found an extender, then you would be very helpful to us, but it will have to charge for seven hours, no less, to get enough to get there.
What is the problem? Seven, seven or eight, if necessary. Why not help people? Do not leave you on the road for a party. We will find the extender, of course. Please go to the yard and park next to O-O-N with that fortress...

P.S

With New Year!
May each of us have everything: happy, healthy and on time.

The best teacher of 2018 is Sechin, who taught us all a lesson on the subject: "If the people choose the sausage between the sausage and freedom, they don't get either." (M of Zhvanetsky)

In Polish they say: to Russia, to the United States and to all other countries.
But at the same time: to Belarus, to Slovakia, to Lithuania, to Latvia and to Ukraine.
That is, all the nearest neighbors are "in". And the other countries are already "to".
At the same time, I have never heard Ukrainian neo-patriots go to the Poles on this matter.”

We all had a related specialty in Soviet times – the builder of communism.

Brother (pushes the cat, cuddles): Uti-uti what...
I: It’s the shit, it’s the shit. determined already.
Brother, what a shit you are.