How many feelings does a person have?
It means meaning?
He: Well, there is touch and others.
He: So how much?
I don’t know, maybe everyone is different.
She: We are all different.

SMS announcement on TV:
"Beautiful, smart, poor, looking for the exact opposite"

Yesterday with friends a little drunk on the street and decided to continue the evening in the apartment went all in the elevator and suddenly stuck.. began to call the elevators, shouted, called for help, then a sleepy voice asks us: what happened, 10 seconds we were silent, then scream on the entire elevator: "you won't believe it. "

I don’t know what else could be answered.

by Habr
OpenMinded: You can’t worry until the bots start writing their own bots to perform all kinds of routine tasks.

I went to one of my colleagues to go. From the class "goes to one, borrowed all". Almost for hours hanging on the partition, interfering with her, and we work, everything is called upon. Polite accompanying is not possible, hame down - the state office, immediately the complaint runs. At lunch we discuss methods of combating boredom.
Ol, and you’ll agree next time.
Olya: What are you? I have a guy! Even if it wasn’t...
The Boss: Listen to me. As he comes, get up sharply, hold him by the hand, and say that I agree to everything, and right now. Be sure he will find important things right away. I know such ballabols, they only know how to work well with the language.
Here comes to mind our ever-sleeping practitioner: language can work? Oh girls, when you come, call me, okay?

If a fool is beaten out in the army, it means that fools are taken into the army.

The story of the song "Fiveteen Men on a Dead Man's Box"
This happened at the beginning of the 18th century. On the pirate ship "Revenge of Queen Anne", which was commanded by Edward Thich, nicknamed Black Beard, one of the most dangerous pirate captains of the Caribbean, because of the cruelty of the captain erupted a rebellion. The rebels were not lucky. Black beard, distinguished by enormous strength and ability to possess weapons, locked up in the cabin, repelled the attackers and quickly suppressed the rebellion.
Fifteen active rebels Titch decided to land on a deserted island called the Dead Man's Box. Each of the pirates was handed a bottle of rum, and then thrown to the shore a band of abortion sables. Tych knew that there were no freshwater springs on the island, but rum only increased thirst, and therefore all the rebels were doomed to a painful death. But this revenge was not enough. Knowing the flamboyant, drunken nature of the pirates, he expected that they would soon be drunk and cut off each other.
Having landed the rebels on the island, Black Beard lifted his sails, and soon his ship disappeared beyond the horizon.
Billy Bons and his comrades had nightmarish days and nights. On the sandwich the dead man was really tight, like in the box. On the lengthy four-angle land of 10x20 meters, the people who fell into a bunch had no chance to hide from the burning sun, wind and snakes.
With the help of fire, the sailors caught fire and set up a small fire. During the night, they gathered the rose in pieces of sailing, diluted it slightly with sea water and divided it equally among themselves, but the water still lacked. From thirst and the burning sun many began to wander, and the inflamed brains of people generated nightmarish monsters like the sea devil Davi Jones at night.
But contrary to the Black Beard's hopes, there was no fighting and footing between the pirates. Per this was contributed by the authority of Billy Bons. Apparently, it was he who was translated into captains instead of Tych by the unsuccessful rebels.
During the tide, the island increased slightly in size, the sea retreated, and exhausted "robinsons" were gathered between corals of molluscs, crabs and turtles. The main food of the pirates were snakes and goats. They were killed, crushed, cut into pieces, wrapped in the sun and then eaten.
A month later, Thich returned to the Dead Man's Box. What was his surprise when, instead of the dried bodies, he found all his pirates quite alive, though barely moving their legs from exhaustion. At the request of the crew Black Beard forgave the rebels and took them on board the ship.
The story of fifteen pirates landed on the Dead Man's Box quickly spread across the Caribbean Sea, and very soon a song appeared, telling about the trials that fell on their part.

If you resign, what to live for? If you work, when do you live?

Men, never laugh at women’s bags! I was constantly choking over one at work, well she likes me))), that she just has no drill there. A day ago, my finger was scattered almost to the bone. She looks, and says, “You said I’m carrying a useless bag in my bag. So I had a patch there, and the iodine marker, and anabolic. And yesterday I listened to you and put it all out at home". And the second whispers:"Do not spit in the well-heard this?" Then it turned out that she did not put out, and she regretted me, but the shit was unpleasant.

My father put in a fist. As soon as he went to work he parked to buy a cigarette in the box, and at the time of parking he began to be dangerously pressed on another car on the side. It turned out to be a distracting maneuver to steal a bag from the rear seat. The bag was successfully stolen. However, then it turned out that in the bag was food in plastic containers and the insert jaw carefully packed in a bag. Have a good appetite :)

Review of MMPP "Salut", Moscow, production and repair of aircraft engines:

SP: $350

The positive sides:
You can sleep in the workplace.
They take everybody without distinction.
It is permitted to smoke in the shop and scream in the whole voice.
The dining room is in debt.

The negative sides:
The minimum wage delay is 1 month.
The Hamas leadership.
powerlessness in the face of global problems.
They can be beat, and right at work!
Working on each other and on each other.
Lack of mentoring.
The role of young professionals in the company.
Tsarism and the autocracy of the elderly.
The premium is 20% of the salary maximum.
Lack of personal computers (I and my partner, for example, had one on two).

Conclusion of the author of the recall:
If you have just left the school, come! I recommend! Catch a lot of emotions and you will understand that there is a backward Russian industry.

The news:
The update, adding to Skyrim support for voice commands (Kinect for Xbox 360), is already available to users of the English version of the game, according to the official blog of Bethesda Softworks. The list of available voice commands can be viewed at the link

The comment:
Your neighbors are not yet shouting "FUS RO DA"? We will fix it!

The joke

The beginning of the sapphire bloom season in Japan is officially announced when five or more flowers appear on the control tree in some observatory. I think it is worthy of respect.

As a rule, in the games the physiology of Persians is cut.
So, just one miracle hit himself with a heels in the chest, that knows a game in which you have to regularly run shit, otherwise Perse dies from constipation...
The name does not say, it fell.

Have you ever meditated? :D
No to No)
WOW: I wanted
Sitting like this.
WOW: I fell asleep

The xxx:
Why is the internet so slow?
YYYY :
Not to mention, the movie lasted five minutes.

I saw a girl in the subway today. Such a beautiful, unusual and... read Freud...
yyy: I understand, approaching her at first did not make sense.)

I have a diploma in information protection. Making notes on the sources, every time I want to write: "The Book of Job verse fourteenth". I don’t even know where this strange desire comes from.

Do not rush to say that this is Your Man until you experience the Loss, the Victory, the Victory of Others together. and repair.

<Kerrigan> I remembered one thing here
<Kerrigan> I have never seen red shades
<Kerrigan> they are all shy
<Huyami> Kerrigan: I love you. I go drink.
<Huyami> I would actually go drunk anyway
<Huyami> but your message fills my booklet with meaning!