bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 88 - ] Comment quote №43462
 20.02.2011
You: also did not read the first word, because it is the first and with a double point.

[ + 66 - ] Comment quote №43461
 20.02.2011
Unknown man who yesterday brought three frozen girls from the 98 km of Shchelkovsky highway to the subway!Thank you, and for stopping, and for telling fun stories, and for not taking the money!! More people like you.
thank you.

[ + 68 - ] Comment quote №43460
 20.02.2011
Imagine I’ve wrapped up the column myself! My mother wept, she didn’t think.
That my hands grow from where I can get to my head :D

[ + 57 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №43459
 20.02.2011
Lilovi Enot: Well, I can’t, when such foolish subjects from the series begin: “You have such eyes, where did you get it?”", pulls to answer: “In the morge from the corpse, I’ve forged it.”"...

[ + 54 - ] Comment quote №43458
 20.02.2011
Talk to me and my mom.(I am my mom :D)
My mom came after work, and brought two pizzas to warm up in the hospital.
How are you going to warm them up?
M - I'm not going, I know that you will go to the neighbors, who you always do everything, and tell them that you have a suspicion of the wrong operation of their HVC oven, and you need to urgently check twice.

[ + 73 - ] Comment quote №43457
 20.02.2011
- I <3 U
Yes, I know that iodine weighs less than 3 uraniums.

[ + 51 - ] Comment quote №43456
 20.02.2011
In the 60s. Japanese volleyball player Kasaya Masaya. By the way, the captain of the team.

[ + 59 - ] Comment quote №43455
 20.02.2011
<Courtesy_Bayne> Hello! Where you disappeared yesterday, we could not find you. Is it okay?
<Capslock00> Mmm... You know, I don’t remember much. It was as if we first decided to go to the cabbage, then the mints followed us, and then I woke up in Irkutsk. But judging by the fact that I am still alive, whole and lost only memory, conscience and sunglasses - everything is fine :)

[ + 124 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №43454
 20.02.2011
Preamble: I live with a cat - kind, moderate harmful... well a cat like a cat in general. Only in his one-and-a-half years of the street he still shrugged - he sat on the window and shrugged at any movement outside the window.
Ambulance: Yesterday evening, the hormones apparently gave a magical pencil of his courage and this miracle flooded into a fortress on a gulbassevo. And it would be nothing - they left the fork open so that he would come down when he returned.
In the middle of the night I feel somebody pins me, persistently so. The first thought is that the child wants something. A happy cat in front of the nose.
Mau Mau Mau Mau Mau Mau Mau
I say back in the pillow.
Immediately I get a nonchalant hook to the right (I have to say boost) in a full affix I wake up. In the cat's eyes it is written literally "you woke up what to sleep, mistress?!!and "
Furthermore, I am not afraid of this word, the animal sits right in front of me and begins to broadcast something - very diligently with expressions of various kinds "miu", "mau", "mur-mir-tir" and all that... And so 5 minutes. I even listened to it.))) He told me, got on a chair and fairy tales...
But I am still in the Achery 0_o
Attention question: cats always report to their owners about the loss of innocence? ))) Something I don’t feel like...

[ + 65 - ] Comment quote №43453
 20.02.2011
xxx: Fuck, yesterday in the bath was the same, and everyone was swallowing, and today I am alone with a fever and swallow (((
YYY: You have had fun...

[ + 67 - ] Comment quote №43452
 20.02.2011
My daughter asked for money for the grass yesterday.
YYYYYYYYYYYYY = D
xxxx: a cat for cats

[ + 72 - ] Comment quote №43451
 20.02.2011
xxx: Did you hear how yyy found an admin for the company?
zzz: let me tell you
xxx: Generally speaking, he accidentally wrote the following message to the contact letter:
"You, you are not there looking, porn I have on disk C:\ in the prn" folder.
Then, of course, I wrote to everyone "Not in that window", contact-list rjet, and then one person writes to him "o_O A how did you create a folder prn, UNC-way, what"?
I went to work without questions.

[ + 69 - ] Comment quote №43450
 20.02.2011
Lectures in Higher Mathematics. Propodša diligently draws out some equation, the audience whispers about its own. And then everyone is silent for a second and in the grave silence from the back of the port is "Suka".
It turns and it is not so disturbing:
- The casex where we took X is not clear to everyone.

[ + 52 - ] Comment quote №43449
 20.02.2011
The law of nature: You can't be strong - you must be fast; you can't be fast - you must be crazy; you can't be crazy - you must be smelly.

[ + 48 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №43448
 20.02.2011
The call. A schoolmate calls.
Are you friends with the internet? He asks.
Well, within certain limits, yes, I answer.
- Then quickly go to the local Forum, and in the section "Photo - video" look for
“Trivial History” and read and watch.
I open, enter and read the text below.

A non-trivial story
Author - Stravaganza 0 - 15.02.2011 - 2:58

I once went to the flea market, where grandparents and grandmothers sold all kinds of stuff. I see that one old man, among his old keys, glands, wine bottles, and other garbage, which he considered a commodity, has a single wide film. I was surprised, as I did not notice any more photographic accessories on his newspaper deck. I came, took it in my hands, I see it – it’s already exposed. Being intrigued, I ask, why does Grandpa sell the already filmed film? Grandfather in response swears and loves that the film is clean, not shot, and generally the most that is excellent. I tried to point the old woman to the inscription "exposed" on the video, but the veteran refuses, and continues to insist that the film is clean, take it now and take it, better the film in the world you will not find, and all in the same spirit. To the question of where he got this film, the retired man could not answer anything understandable, obviously himself no longer remembered. This story seemed funny to me, and I bought this film. I used to watch it for a long time, but once, showing my black and white films, I showed it. It turned out to be a classic "amateur" film, (amateur is the term that in the photography lab where I worked at the time, called the films, in which thirty-six frames contained several birthdays, a trip to the sea, and a new year) - here you and winter, and summer, and all this in twelve frames 6x6. Then I threw this carelessly washed film, and it lasted for ten years, no less. And now, when I came across it recently, it seemed to me a shit to keep a piece of someone’s family history, and not even try to find those for whom these images might be invaluable. In this regard, I ask the local everyday people to look at these faces, maybe you will see someone of your acquaintances, yet not everyone in this city kept their family records in a broad format?
http://forums.kuban.ru/forum/viewtopic_new.php?t=3801254&all=all

Following this text are placed four black-and-white photographs, one of which only a glance made you shudder and almost tears. I and my family have been in the picture 30 years ago. The kids are very small. I call my eldest daughter. For example, please join this forum. There is a grandson behind. In a few minutes I hear a scream of amazement.
On the "telephone forum" recalled the case when 29 years ago, in a hurry, went to the cinema with his wife in a car. As I walked out of the cinema, I saw a light burning in my car. It became clear that the thief was in a hurry and did not knock the door. Along with the jacket, my favourite “Amateur-2” disappeared – the cheapest and one of the best cameras of the time and a cassette with a film taken.
Could it have been assumed that the pictures would return to me a quarter of a century later?

[ + 68 - ] Comment quote №43447
 20.02.2011
If you were called to the home phone and asked the idiotic question, “Are you at home?Don’t get angry and calmly answer, “Yes, where are you?“”

[ + 55 - ] Comment quote №43446
 20.02.2011
I will show you who is the washing machine and who is the beautiful old Russian city.

[ + 61 - ] Comment quote №43445
 20.02.2011
In every girl there are constantly two beings fighting: a cat thirsty for freedom and a dog in need of a master.
YYY: In this case, every man has a zoophile.

[ + 65 - ] Comment quote №43444
 20.02.2011
I never understood why Gandalf was killed in Harry Potter.

[ + 69 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №43443
 20.02.2011
You go to the kitchen for tea, you realize that the cup is at the company, you return, you update the contact, you go back to the kitchen, and again you realize that the cup is at the company.

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