bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 49 - ] Comment quote №14644
 20.02.2009
Romque (05:14:32 18/02/2009)
I would say that I want a full implementation of WinAPI in *Unix-systems, but I would rather say that I want in the passport in the column "married to:..." see your name -)

[ + 50 - ] Comment quote №14643
 20.02.2009
From news.ru 18.02.09
Dutch scientists have found a pill for bad memories

Is it called now?

[ + 52 - ] Comment quote №14642
 20.02.2009
From the arms forum, a question was asked about wearing bracelets.

and XXX:
The bracelets are a special means, as is the rubber hose (PR). Their use and acquisition by citizens is not regulated. Accordingly, following the principle of "all that is not forbidden is allowed", you can buy and wear them. However, not all shops will sell them to the citizen. A lot of places where this will require a private security guard license or an ID of the Ministry of Internal Affairs. Yes, and in the case of a SM inspection, they can be murky when they are detected.

There is no limit to human wisdom. "Evrika!" said the self-defense man and went to... the sex shop for handcuffs in pink fur. After that, all the questions immediately disappear: "Why do you need handcuffs, citizen?", "For intimate games with your wife/girlfriend"))

YYY :
At the same time, a f-simulator, instead of a rubber hose bought...

[ + 67 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №14641
 20.02.2009
Go to hell with your banned advertisements, dead people, beaten girls! You enter the resource to laugh, you leave with no mood! Stop your crackdown, especially here! There are a lot of forums where you can pick up anything you want! Find a place to have fun! They got already!
As you write yourself "do not remain indifferent" and "support the quote"

[ + 41 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №14640
 20.02.2009
One step from love to hatred, it was taken by my girlfriend walking down the stairs with my MacBook Pro in her hands.

[ + 48 - ] Comment quote №14639
 20.02.2009
Stash walked the street, I see, the old lady of the stinking appearance clings to a kind of stuntman, and that little thing in her hand... and I thought it was all a little thing?)))

[ + 51 - ] Comment quote №14638
 20.02.2009
xxx (21:20:28 18/02/2009)
It’s fun to keep an emo at home.

xxx (21:20:37 18/02/2009)
You come home and it makes you happy.

xxx (21:21:03 18/02/2009)
You go away and he6o with such anxiety in the eyes of smoooootrit and playachat

[ + 55 - ] Comment quote №14637
 20.02.2009
When did you get married to your husband?
Yyy: not so long ago... at the end of January, there is no more month ?
XX: Where the world turns
YYY: What is it?
XXX: I tell you
YYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY
Why at 20 years old?
What’s the difference, please tell me?Is it 20 or 25?
XXX is not important
Yyy: there is absolutely nothing changed... as they lived two and a half years ago, so we live)))
Why is the wedding?
Yyy: and then what had to be legalized)))
XXX Why?
YYY: borrowing

[ + 42 - ] Comment quote №14636
 20.02.2009
I suggest putting a healthy iron bullet into orbit. You can use more enemy satellites.

[ + 49 - ] Comment quote №14635
 20.02.2009
And I once met a familiar mint in the subway, which helped me safely go through the turnikets on the go.On this day, the meaning of the word "waste pipeline" gained another meaning for me.

[ + 44 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №14634
 20.02.2009
If your wife goes to your mother forever, you may have time to drink a bottle.

Beer before you come back.

[ + 37 - ] Comment quote №14633
 20.02.2009
About Poppers

Instead of epigram:

"They say that soon for praporters will introduce a new form with one drive, as

in the eses to wear was more comfortable and stars for the bag was not

It is up!"



I served in the Naval Aviation at one of the airfields in the Primorsky Territory.

Kerosene was not regretted at that time and our regiment flew regularly twice in the year.

Once a week, once during the day, once at night. All flights are mandatory.

The fire car was vigilant. The fire department was one.

Flag from the local, the rest - sailors and sergeants of urgent service.

In the village, next to the garrison, his mother lived in her private home.

The house. Winters in Primorye are harsh, here he put the mother's boiler

on liquid fuel, so that the old lady with wood does not suffer. of fuel,

There was aircraft petroleum. The heat is great, and the copot -

very little. One night flights ended around 3 o’clock at night. The flag,

as a caring commander, sends all the calculation to sleep, calls the car himself

I take it out and put it in the box. When the staff moved to the side

long-awaited flashes, the flag poured out all the water from the firehouse and,

agreement with the sailors from the fuel tank, filled it with petroleum,

To take my mom. But if he was tired, his mother was afraid.

He woke up, but decided to postpone the trip until the morning, put the car in the box.

The fire department went home to sleep.

As in every airport, we had our own weather service and our own airport.

The meteorological station. It was located on the edge of the airport in a two-storey

The wooden building. According to the law of calamity, at 5 a.m. the building of the meteorological station

It burned. The fire occurred in the corner room on the 1st floor. People

Urgently called the fire. Unable to recover after a short sleep.

sailors jumped into the car, came to the fire, in record time

They opened two arms, put pressure on them and began to extinguish. who

He knows what aircraft kerosene is, it is easy to imagine what was next.

If you do not know, I will explain. They were seen in the military film chronicles as Germans.

Firefighters burn at home. It was the same, only a stream of petroleum.

It looked much more effective under pressure. Inside the building instantly.

A huge fireball burned, the old wooden partitions burned out.

A moment of eye and, unable to stand, collapsed. The building collapsed in front of me.

The public was astonished and his remains were almost untouched.

The damaged roof. The fire ended and the second one arrived.

The only thing left was to fill small flames.

At the "discovery of flights" arrived the head of the Navy Aviation Headquarters. No is

embarrassed, he explained this very instructively to the whole garrison.

history and announced the organizers. His performance ended with a famous

Quote from the speech of the Secretary-General of the Central Committee of the CPSU: "All that has been created

by the people - must be reliably protected... - and added from itself - from

The puppets!and "

[ + 36 - ] Comment quote №14632
 20.02.2009
Crash tests of Russian cars were conducted in Moscow. The most dangerous was

recognized car "Oka": while the mannequin was placed in the car, he was broken both

The feet.

[ + 68 - ] Comment quote №14631
 20.02.2009
When a pleasant shake passes through the body and the muscles start to shrink - is it an orgasm?
It is a stroke.

[ + 87 - ] Comment quote №14630
 20.02.2009
There lived a uncle with a good sense of humor, and his name was Glass.
tk. With humor of problems, he called his children (boy and girl) Roma and Gina.

[ + 64 - ] Comment quote №14629
 20.02.2009
You need to insure the house, but by foolish rules the windows should be filled with boards (the house is not finished) Go to the country and shake the windows well very reluctant!(Who can make the windows as realistic as possible in Photoshop?)

[ + 52 - ] Comment quote №14628
 20.02.2009
My mom told me.
They come to the grandmother’s store. I chose something, and instead of money, I stretched a 1000 r. from the series "Bank ticket".
This is not money, such paper cannot be paid.
Grandma: Fuck your mother, and for whom did I buy those for 100 rubles in the tent?? to

[ + 61 - ] Comment quote №14627
 20.02.2009
Only on the eve of February 23, you can see a smiling girl in the bus with a drill just bought.

[ + 38 - ] Comment quote №14626
 20.02.2009
<dev> will be back. I went to write a paper letter.

<repl> oh you are! and old school :)

[ + 58 - ] Comment quote №14625
 20.02.2009
48195 (preserved 2009-02-18 at 16:00)
We start gymnastics for those who read Bach.

The minimum program:
Straighten the back.
Remove the hand from the beard.
I closed my eyes for 5 seconds.

The optimum program:
They stood up, stood up, and made a couple of easy fastenings.

The maximum program:
- Press the cross in the upper right corner and push to work-sleep-eat-have sex-feed a cat-walk a dog-prepare for the exam (need to emphasize)

Do not eat at the table!! to

P.S Thank you very much to the one who first wrote about the left hand on the beard! Your contribution to the health of the nation is invaluable, friend!

_________________________________________

Stop crawling in your nose!! to

The best quotes and jokes from the bezdna