bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 92 - ] Comment quote №21631
 21.10.2009
Rest in Egypt. The locals are poor, but speak Russian, and, as you dreamed, learn very quickly. I stand at the bar and order a whiskey. For the ease of communication, I tick my finger into the right bucket. The Barman:
Do you have that hood?
Having doubts, kiwi...local not ah how delicious, of course, but to be so. A tourist standing by the laugh explains. I ordered a cocktail yesterday, pointing to the bottles:
I have colas, here’s that hue, and here’s that fucking shit!

[ + 69 - ] Comment quote №21630
 21.10.2009
Husbands with experience live by day soul to soul, and by night ass to ass.

[ + 76 - ] Comment quote №21629
 21.10.2009
XXX from it!! My wife left me and my one-year-old child alone, ordering me not to wear diapers - let the skin breathe. And the child, while I crawled in the computer, went into the closet, picked up his wife's jewelry, including gold, scattered them on the floor and mocked them!!!! This is all about this mercantile shit!

Socialists have grown up.

[ + 63 - ] Comment quote №21628
 21.10.2009
The ideal guy. How I would like it to be a hero, like in books - tall, tall, strong. With long dark or light hair. With some incredible eyes of amazing color - amber, purple, red...
YYY: The Linux! His hair is long, his eyes are red, he pronounces incomprehensible words and commands demons. Good luck in anime!

[ + 90 - ] Comment quote №21627
 21.10.2009
She is: Hi! You promised to burn a cat, remember? When will you fulfill your promise?
Are you like a duck or a rabbit?
She said, “As a gift!
Is it in the foil? In your own juice?
What is a false? What Juice? Just take it in your hands and that’s it.
Will you burn yourself?
She said, “Why do you bite it?”! to
She is: give, fool, give!!!! to

[ + 105 - ] Comment quote №21626
 21.10.2009
The boss speaks on the phone, I only hear him, respectively:
- Hello, "name" please invite to the phone.
Are you sick?
Sorry, but what happened?
I got infected in the subway and went on maternity leave!? to
I sit down and dry coffee from the monitor.

[ + 77 - ] Comment quote №21625
 21.10.2009
In front of me on a pair sat a couple.They are sitting talking, not noticing anything.Behind them comes the teacher.Here the girl gives a nice blonde voice phrase:
I am white and puffy.
What Pride says:
And still beef!

[ + 86 - ] Comment quote №21624
 21.10.2009
Answer to:
And why have I never seen a dead pigeon in the plane of the one who died from old age, and not eaten by a cat or a rat...No, maybe the pigeons have their burial places, but hell take where they are?!?!? to

And this is because the pigeons from old age usually die where they live - on the lofts, where the bodies are fed by the rest of the pigeons.
The monitors who worked on the "dirty roofs" won’t lie.

Get up, let the man know the truth.

[ + 58 - ] Comment quote №21623
 21.10.2009
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
According to the news agencies Interfax and UNIAN, today the mayor of Kiev Leonid Chernovetsky decided to remove the powers of the head of the capital. As the mayor himself said, he leaves because "the conscience is tormented". Tonight, in a dream, I saw God who said that I love myself and the Kievans more than him. Asked by journalists, how God looked in the dream of the mayor, Leonid Mikhailovich replied, "He was like all the Kiev grandmothers, but was black, and covered with wool, like my cat Yasha."

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
and ROFL

whey (10:44:55 20/10/2009)
Fuck, he is mocking.

[ + 44 - ] Comment quote №21622
 21.10.2009
Website of Advertising:
Auto: BMW 5 Series (E12) - 1981
Price: $400
Additional information: does not require investments - because it is useless

[ + 57 - ] Comment quote №21621
 21.10.2009
XXX is
I am home

YYYY
I am a Cucumbra.

YYYY
and I am

[ + 67 - ] Comment quote №21620
 21.10.2009
She: Sweet, you love me
He is: No
She: And you don’t even want?
He is: No
She: Well, I sold your guild!
Q: What is QQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQ? to
and all your things from Persia
Tagged with: blade blade blade blade
She: Sold to your persian, so you have a chance to fix it!
I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you.
She: This is the push my mother talked about with her husband!

[ + 67 - ] Comment quote №21619
 21.10.2009
I < 3 U!
- Well yes, iodine is less than three uraniums and what is longer?

[ + 42 - ] Comment quote №21618
 21.10.2009
The sports bar is a place where the "roasted" and "smoked" beast consider themselves partakers of the sporting successes of the Motherland.

[ + 59 - ] Comment quote №21617
 21.10.2009
History the first. The first April joke.
Again about my grandparents. My grandfather gave me a gift that the scientist was quite famous in his field, but he loved to joke. Especially the joke. Unfortunately, his activity fell to my younger school age, but I remember this royalty well. At 6 o’clock in the morning on April 1, Grandpa, as usual, brought for a walk his foxic Almochka, a thick candy and milashka. After thinking about the script, grandfather returned home and began making the decorations. Sold at that time such sweet-sweetened sausage with peanuts at 1.55 p. - tasty! He took a few pieces and scattered in what form? The right dogs.
He stood in the hallway and went to wake his wife.
Annie, good morning You know such an outcry... I slept, Almochka didn’t walk out... with a guilty tone.
Have I guessed? Where is? Emotionally, at an accelerating pace.
- Yes, out there in the hallway, I would remove... - guilty-pleasantly...
to remove? I warned you that you would clean up your dog yourself! The action moves into the hallway, the grandmother did not wear glasses, so the crowd looks very natural.
- Bringed the poor Almochka, did not hold up - sadly - go for the cloth - swallow.
No, I will first show her who is the master in the house. He goes to the office, pulls out of there for a fat haircut Alma, but he doesn't understand anything, but for the case, he rides on the pop.
A bad dog, what did you do? Stirring the nose in
“Kakashi,” Alma still doesn’t understand and turns away.
You are tormenting an animal. Volodya, you are to blame, you slept!
I’m not going to clean it, let it clean itself!! to
Here is Alma, finally wondering what was in front of her favorite!!! to
“Forget...” the grandmother fled with horror, looking like a dog, sucking a bunch in a second, carefully licking the floor.
On the 1st of April, Anna!! to

[ + 81 - ] Comment quote №21616
 21.10.2009
In fact, all great things don’t start with the words, “I can! I will do!
I will reach that goal and go on!” As it is customary to speak at business seminars and write in books like "How to Become a Millionaire".
All great things start with the words, “Well, okay, let’s try it.”

[ + 91 - ] Comment quote №21615
 21.10.2009
With regard to "officials’ comments".
There is a great novel by Robert Sheckley, "A Ticket to the Planet of Taranai," where there was an ideal society. So, there the manager could become absolutely any citizen of society and could do absolutely anything, but along with the powers he was obliged all his official term to wear a medalion with a bomb mounted in it. Every citizen at any time could press the “for” or “against” button, responding to some actions of the official. And if a critical number accumulated (I don’t remember exactly what the limit was), then the official exploded to the whales and were looking for a new victim for the post of manager.
The customs of Taranai were, of course, far from ideal, but the Taranai thought in the right direction, didn’t they? and ;)

[ + 46 - ] Comment quote №21614
 21.10.2009
There is such a thing "Rakia", like Turkish vodka. If you throw a piece of ice into it, it becomes white like milk. We sat down with the guys and discussed it. The father of a friend interferes.
-"If you throw ice into a column, it will also whiten,"-Father.
-"Conclusion?"We are talking about it.
-"Well, it was in the Army..." - The Father is slightly red.
The curtain...
A fun uncle. I like "a lot more pearls" to remember.

[ + 67 - ] Comment quote №21613
 21.10.2009
<mmm> What do you think, if people who pull a week with a salary for a site, tomorrow morning this site will not open - this is quite a subtle hint? )

[ + 56 - ] [3 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №21612
 21.10.2009
Dear readers of Bora!
Imagine a situation: You go to a site dedicated to the tragic death of a famous person, where people express condolences and try to morally support the loved ones of the deceased, and post there something like "Funnyly rejected, let's go...".

And now stop writing sad stories about the country/politics/modern youth/ and so on.

Respect those who come here for the positive!

The best quotes and jokes from the bezdna