Little got a large hammer in his dad’s tools and went to his room with a confident sight.
Where did you take the hammer?
Repair the light!

<xxx 20.04.2017>: I now know the only correct answer to the question why trees drop leaves for winter. Because a layer of snow planted leaves can easily break a tree.
<yyy 20.04.2017> And where did you find it?
<xxx 20.04.2017> I just looked out the window.

A former colleague told a funny story. His cousin, happily lived in marriage for five years, despite the fact that the marriage was over. One beautiful winter evening, they sat down for a compot, and began to pick photos of their daughter to send to a company to make a photo book about how their little girl grew and developed, until the anniversary five years. Looking at one picture, the husband said:

Her knife is mine!

My wife did not agree:

Oh no, the niche!

Yes, you are a smart eye!

I tell you, I don’t even look close to your shnivell!

Are you stupid? Look at the shape and the tip, all like mine!

Here the wife entered into the gambling dispute, and how will it be:

She’ll have your nose if you’re not even relatives.

There was an uncomfortable pause, the wife realized that she had slapped too much, the husband realized that he did not understand anything at all. In short, there was a DNA test, the wife was right, the husband is not the father of a five-year-old daughter. The divorce and the girl's name, but she won in the dispute!

Russia has gone a long way from imperial wage ownership through Soviet bribery to modern corruption.

A Sunday morning, a small wilderness, a lady with a small wooled dog of an uncertain breed walks on the corner. In the opposite corner of the desert appears a couple - a strong guy and a cute girl. The dog crashes and with a loud whisper runs to their side. The couple stops. The hostess begins to scream the usual “Don’t worry! She doesn’t bite. She just wants to play! “Julie to me!” TD and TP. The dog, having a couple of souls, returns to the owner.
And here...the guy whispers something to the girl and then, taking an extremely angry look and hanging his sleeves, deliberately goes to the side of the lady, shouting something like "Suko! Soooo!” The girl laughs and begins to scream, “Don’t worry! He will not beat! He just wants to play! “Daniel, go to me!” TD and TP. The lady, whispering something about the disappeared youth, grabs the dog for the necklace and rushes away. The couple goes on their way.
of none.

Prime Minister Medvedev is a man who does not understand what he is talking about better than others.

You spend too much time with idiots.
YYY: By the way. How are you dealing?

XXX: I was in school and without relationships:
And the frogs?
ZZZ: Through the Tube

Abroad, “employee motivation” is called the idea of giving people more so they can do more. And in Russia - as employees stress, so that with less expenses on them they do the same, and better much more.

Two brothers have a car. The senior, waiting for the desired range, will take the car to the STO, where almost all the fluids are changed, something is checked, twisted, pulled and cleaned. The second brother, looking at the older one, decides at least to change the oil. On the road to the 100 refuses the brake, so the rest of the road car runs on the evacuator. The oil, of course, changed, and at the same time replaced the broken brake hose, and the brake pads erased to zero. At the meeting, the elder boasted: "The car was taken to the STO, as if it were in a sanatorium." The younger: "If I do the same analogy, I’m on the "Speed" to the trauma point!"

Though... With all my erudition, my craving for knowledge and, I am not afraid of the word, my intelligence, do you know that never came to my mind?
That this Bosch itself, according to the rules of modern transcription of the German language, is not Bosch. He is Bosch.
I'll go under some shattered worldview, a vacuum cleaner for example...

Today is a good day to replenish your vocabulary. "Eternal laundry", "protective cloud"... It would be necessary to catch such and write somewhere separately :)

Three girls learn programming together.

Well, here again, the chance to find a husband-aitishnik passed by me...
xx2: Do you think it is sexually transmitted?
xx3: Plus and Pyton are not transmitted, and JavaScript is.