bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №87299
 21.09.2013
[Talk about Civilization 5]

Yesterday, in 1352, Steve Jobs was on a camel for 30 years on a trade mission to Budapest.
Versager: Apples for sale?

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №87298
 21.09.2013
When I was 12 years old, I was on a train to Moscow. I slept on the upper shelf. Head to the window. The second floor was free. And suddenly I dreamed of a dream: I swam on a gray dusty surface, the sky above my head is black, without stars almost, and what is - small and dull, around such hills of dust or sand, slides well, the surface is soft. I wake up, swinging my head to the door on the opposite shelf. Damn, neither before nor after this lunarism happened to me. When I went back, I was afraid to sleep.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №87297
 21.09.2013
xxx: I look, you are with physics on "you"?
YYY: I am with physics on "Who are you?and "

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №87296
 21.09.2013
My son is 3.5 years old. We went somewhere, waiting for my mom (as usual). While they went to the car the child told everything about himself to some grandmother (type, what a wonderful child, how to call and so on). Well, I decided to educate - I told you that you cannot talk to strangers. seem to understand. The weather is approaching, ask for time. My father is my father, and you know that uncle? I am not. Son, why are you talking? O_O

[ + 20 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №87295
 21.09.2013
C website of the store:
Do you know where to buy barbecues? Usually they are sold, in highly specialized stores, military themes. They are not just military visitors. And also representatives of various informal currents: Goths, bikers, fans of heavy metals.

Alex Trask: It is all right! I am a fan of uranium.

[ + 47 - ] Comment quote №87294
 21.09.2013
Discussion of the new white:
a: Witnesses claim that at the crash test of the white concrete plate tried to loosen...
B: I sell Belaz after the accident. The right front wheel.
c: In the Belaza pharmacy box for outpatient treatment can be up to 6 people.
Q: Can I have a full tank? Yes, of course, you have 170 thousand rubles.
E: Turn off the engine. The tank cannot be filled.
F: This is due to the fact that a pipe was inserted directly from a refinery in the tank.

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №87293
 21.09.2013
On the bitbyte in one of the reports: "We have a development problem - developers are dead. No, seriously, they go to Thailand, get angry at the standards of that money, buy motorcycles and fight.

[ + 18 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №87292
 21.09.2013
by sky_antonio

Crab sticks don’t like the name, fish sticks (with the taste of crabs/crabs/omares) would be more honest.

Zloradsky

And then Mr. The word must be renamed.
A lot of people and organizations.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №87291
 21.09.2013
All employees were presented with Rubik’s cube. Working days are broken.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №87290
 21.09.2013
"The ships lava..." said:

Many specialties have been re-profiled, re-profiled, and underprofiled, began to re-profil, and re-profiled.

Unfortunately for the day, but I never spoke :(

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №87289
 21.09.2013
The former "boasted", stating that his new wife was much better than me (I decided to beat the type)
I joked, saying that the best wives come from former prostitutes.
He was offended
I told my current wife...
Who knew I would get to the point.

PS I was guilty.
No more calling :)


[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №87288
 21.09.2013
Tamias: When I speed up to 120 km / h in the car, in the cabin from the passenger side begins to smell shit. What could it be? There is no one in the room besides me. The option "you have Phoenix got rid of" do not offer.

[ + 37 - ] Comment quote №87287
 21.09.2013
From VK:

My world has collapsed:
Another example:
(+∞/0) + ∞ = +∞ while (+∞/-0) +∞ = NaN

What is "NaN"
Oh I understood! Child food is like this.

xxx: That is, in your way, infinity divided by minus zero is child food?! to

The technician will understand you.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №87286
 21.09.2013
TV, First channel - News - Weather:
Since the beginning of the year in Moscow has fallen 680 millimeters of precipitation - almost 7 meters of rain.

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №87285
 21.09.2013
When I decide, I will give my wife on March 8 not eyebrows with a diamond, but socks and shampoo.

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №87284
 21.09.2013
I met with my family, my brother and sister. We went for a long walk, talked, and talked. I feel my leg starts to pull.
I say my leg is sick.
What was that injury?
I: No, I just have the left shorter than the right (it really is such a bag) here and I have to strain a little to sit on the right.
The sister with untrue horror in the eyes says: my legs always hurt, probably they are both shorter!!! to
I am still scratching.)

[ + 42 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №87283
 21.09.2013
Switched channels, got on the show "I want to go to Viagra". I have not seen a show like this in one broadcast before!
And Meladze himself, on a journey, has specific problems with urination: he will want to suck, so he will not have time to take off the pants, as someone is sucking.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №87282
 21.09.2013
I visited a friend’s house. She has a cat of the Sphinx breed. After playing the image with the usual batic, the expression "Turn the bald" began to have a dual character!

[ + 34 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №87281
 21.09.2013
by 4pda
max_shadov, - Son, my dad and I know you've installed iOS 7. It’s your choice, you’re an adult. You are our son anyway. My cosmetics in the closet.

[ + 17 - ] Comment quote №87280
 21.09.2013
Flo Rida - Whistle - Anyone ever thought about how terrible this song is? : & lt;

yyy: a guy asks a girlfriend to whistle in his whistle, what’s going on, maybe he’s a coach? Well, or a milician, then the stick will probably hold.

zzz: well, and the phrase "throw the stick" is a whisper about towns

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