bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 24 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №139058
 22.02.2017
Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh. The key word is workers. Have you seen a lot of homosexuals in the machine? (Except for the Dolin of Our Rashah.)
They are all directors, artists, writers to be noted. Parades on the prospectus.

What is. What is. Have you really seen "they" only on the telecast? I disappointed. 100% of the gay people I know are forced to work, no one feeds for parades. Even a couple of programmers and Sisadmin are among acquaintances. Another accountant. I know very little about the workers in principle, but I am sure they will also be there.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №139057
 22.02.2017
In the skype chat there is a discussion of the movie about honey eaters - small but very bold and living African animals.

[12:25] Click [Baldur]: The serpent bit the Beji in the eye, Beji did not like it, but I would die.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №139056
 22.02.2017
You are people like that, right?

In advanced cases, they also complain “friend” about their new boyfriend, condemning “I’d have a guy like you.”

Are you normal there at all? What religion prevents at this time to get the tongue out of the pocket and ask"Let me be them"?"

Fucking people (it’s like going to a cafe, getting a count every time, and then going again. and be surprised! And the main thing is to hope that everything will be fine...the next time it will be.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №139055
 22.02.2017
In Baikal, instead of water, a solution of chlorhexidine is poured? Then you can’t drink it at all, even with boiling.

Where are your eyes, hell! The shuttler got angry, turning George and pointing to the river. It’s not too much, I could see".
" and George cried out, starting to think. But we can’t drink the river!
"Maybe, but you can drink in the throat well, followed the answer. I’ve been drinking it for 15 years.
George objected to the guard that his appearance could not serve as a promotion of river water and that he, George, preferred well.
We got some water in the cottage, located a little higher. I think that if we were to start investigating, it would prove that this water was taken directly from the river. But we didn’t try and everything was fine. What the eye does not see, the stomach does not feel.

[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №139054
 22.02.2017
I had a acquaintance - Lennochka - a cute, slim girl. Lenočka loved cooking, especially her blenders were delicious. Lenocha wrapped beautiful upheaved cofflets. Lenny was perfect. and unmarried. No, she went on dates, but usually on the second date the gentleman began to complain about employment, and they did not meet again. There were guys who didn’t hide that they just wanted sex. The linen of such sewing, because it insulted her, she has a soul, and blinkers, and cofflets.
We tried to explain to Lennochko what it is not worth saying when dating:
Where are you working? What is normally paid? And how much?
And I think that a real man is obliged to sustain the whole family. A normal man does not have to work.
I, by the way, before this date made a manicure for myself - 2 hours of time spent and 5 thousand, and you only brought me a rose for 150 rubles.
Lennochke is 40, and in her life she meets only CAZLE, and no normal man.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №139053
 22.02.2017
Oxyd sharpened the blades. Damn shit
moveton‣oxyd now a crumbled rod in the floor does not do a hole, but a slit?

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №139052
 22.02.2017
D: Let’s go to the concert of the group "Crematorium"!
M is NO!
D : Why?
M: I don’t want to be in the crowd of non-young people who, however, will be younger than me.

[ + 41 - ] Comment quote №139051
 22.02.2017
I was driving to the sea somehow. The train, the car, the summer, a bunch of knockouts with children go to rest. I am on the top shelf, lying down, reading. And then I notice (in the evening it was, the appearance of itself) that in the placard opposite and diagonally on the upper shelf lies a thian and looks at me. He stares and even smiles cuddly. So I smiled. We began to look at each other and blink. I liked it, it was wine on her face. Half an hour later, I began to show her with gestures that when everyone is asleep, we will go to the tambour and sweat. She was not against. And when everyone fell asleep, I approached her and realized that I was flirting all night with one mattress, folded, and what I took for my face was a game of shadows. It was, and still remains, my loudest file and the most shocking success in my personal life (to break down on sex in half an hour, you don’t drop it from the first time to enter).

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №139050
 22.02.2017
In the past, I became a computer genius because I knew where to look at the keyboard layout language on the password screen.



A delegation of important partners came to us, the entire headquarters sat down with them in a large negotiating room, and here Tony resorted:

Save me, everything is broken! Where to buy a new projector? Our old is broken! We connected it, the light bulb is burning, but it shows very bad! I see nothing!

Okay I say. Let us see.



I go into a conversation, say hello to important birds, remove the lid from the lens, say goodbye, go out. Behind the door I hear an admirable whisper.

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №139049
 22.02.2017
But the homophobes and those who consider the word “feminist” defamatory are the same people?

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №139048
 22.02.2017
Dan: If I’ve understood everything right, this year Hollywood promises us: a new Alien movie, a new Batman movie, a new Guardians of the Galaxy, a new Pirates of the Caribbean, a new Transformers, a new Force. and :(

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №139047
 22.02.2017
Has anyone removed the horrors? :D

Watson tried it. But it was "Summer"

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №139046
 22.02.2017
xxx: So glad that the program has been thinking without mistakes for a week...
YYY: And what then?
xxx: It turned out that the report of errors was broken :-((

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №139045
 22.02.2017
by Baikalvod

Water can be drunk anywhere. Some only once.

[ + 19 - ] Comment quote №139044
 22.02.2017
A writer – a fantasy

Here is a real case. I published a book at EXMO. Sales statistics are such that at the end of the month I received as much as 550 (five hundred fifty) rubles.

It would be interesting to read the text of the EXMO agreement with you. And also sales statistics in the coming months.)

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №139043
 22.02.2017
In the UK, sailors report a decision by the Navy leadership that put an end to an era in the history of the navy. Military on ships were prohibited from watching porn films and holding erotic magazines on board.
...
“First they stopped giving us the daily portion of rom (this old tradition was abolished in 1970), then they cut the allowance for alcohol, and now pornography was banned,” a British Navy officer complained.

— — —
So this is what he is, "backbone of the Royal Navy".

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №139042
 22.02.2017
With Geektimes:

xxx: sterilized cream, for 2 years of standing in the safe they did not deteriorate in the microbiological sense but completely lost consumer qualities - the fat separated and the taste was unpleasant.

Why did you keep the cream in the safe for two years?

zzz: With a note for the robbers: “Congratulations, you removed the cream”

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №139041
 22.02.2017
Ukrainian oligarch Firtash, who is also linked to many Russian business groups, has been detained in Austria at the request of Spain and will subsequently be extradited to the United States as part of a case initiated by companies from India. What an interesting life for a man.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №139040
 22.02.2017
I learned two things today.
1st The printer toner is very bad for drowning in water.
2nd Wiping out a worn toner in the toilet is a bad idea.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №139039
 22.02.2017
I read the book.
There two aunts went to the barber shop and, if you believe the author, came out of there in 40 minutes, painted and shaved.
The Lord! I love fantasy, but everything has a limit.
No one has abolished the laws of nature.

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