bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 20 - ] Comment quote №111039
 22.03.2015
You and your clothes have already blinked your eyes incredibly! In fact, nobody said anything. In reality, research has long been conducted and data has been obtained that people work better when they are comfortable - i.e. compulsory heels or other clothes that block movements negatively affect the productivity of the employee. The same with the freezing of offices - it was previously believed that people in a cold office were more alive and exhausted, and it turned out that everything was exactly the opposite - for optimal performance a comfortable temperature was needed. Well, the fact that some of the chiefs of Ebla are a Kabbalah news from the past millennium. Ah, yes - advisors to be fired from work, if people don't like something, it is better to push their tongues into a point - there is their place. So there are ideal vacancies around "choose - I don't want", these people are just stupid, ah.

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №111038
 22.03.2015
My dad told me about his youth. He was engaged in bodybuilding for a while. And there was one of them: 2 meters in height and 135 kg in weight. And this guy loved to play chess.
Someone comes into the stall and sees a painting with oil. This stangster is sitting behind the chessboard, and in front of him is some kind of Harry Potter, tiny, small, all so narrow and in glasses, as it later turned out some champion in chess. And this champion breaks out on the topic "Here chess is a sport. This is what I understand." On which the stangist flegmatically, without breaking away from the contemplation of the board, says: "If chess is a sport, then onanism is heavy athletics".

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №111037
 22.03.2015
It would be better under the fans of all the “Hands Up” collapsed the floor. Regardless of weight.
------------
Be careful baby. Maybe they are your parents.

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №111036
 22.03.2015
I have two burned pots.

5 villages, 3 tanks and one aircraft carrier.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №111035
 22.03.2015
When the neighbors from the top start dancing or the moving games of their beloved neighbors are sitting, in the hearts I curse: "Oh, that you fail!" Then I think where they will fail, and I remove the curse.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №111034
 22.03.2015
to this:
xxx: The girl came to us at the gym today, she said her goal is to weigh less than the dollar rate :)
I think she won’t need fitness soon. You can boldly go to the bakery.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №111033
 22.03.2015
Before you do anything, turn your head on.
I turn it on, but it’s empty.

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №111032
 22.03.2015
I ask my husband to do homework on the weekend.
He says "shah, wait, the knot is interesting. I want to see what happens".
Romeo and Juliet are watching.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №111031
 22.03.2015
I even dressed like a lambersexual in defense of my dissertation: jeans, a flannel shirt and a folded beard!
And a healthy new tail to have something to protect?

[ + 18 - ] Comment quote №111030
 22.03.2015
To everyone who does not understand why to learn the mother tongue and try to express their thoughts competently: yesterday on the street heard a young lady boast of a girlfriend on the phone. “I got 10 pounds worse,” said the beauty and made my day.

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №111029
 22.03.2015
I sit, I play in Dragon Age: Origins for a female Persian, I develop a romantic line with Alister, I lick, like a fool, over his jokes, I replay the mission for several hours, so as not to upset him... even if somewhere I have a boyfriend and personal life...)))

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №111028
 22.03.2015
Velovich: Looking at the internet, how good it was in the 1970s is interesting. Imagine you’re in the 70s without the internet.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №111027
 22.03.2015
What a programmer I am!(Lowing his eyes down, he leads his foot on the floor)
X: Yes cats, chicks (heavy breathing)

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №111026
 22.03.2015
On the website of the library I browse the book "Pistols and revolvers. The report" Under the book - section "If you liked this book, you may also be interested in books..." And the list: "Learn to read", "Table of preschoolers", "Task for small intelligents"...

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №111025
 22.03.2015
I’m often asked how I could have forgotten something that just happened last week/a few days ago/yesterday.
Yes, I don’t forget my head somewhere, just because it doesn’t turn away from me! Otherwise it would have happened in elementary school.
And I don’t forget my car leaving somewhere, just because I can’t leave without a car!!! But to get out without a car is easy, and not once :(

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №111024
 22.03.2015
Let us think:
— — —
Daria is
The country is big - idiots are caught everywhere
What about Fuji? About the ants?
They are so acidic! And the grass heaven did not chew in the spring - it is slick, although you can cut it)))) You didn't have a childhood, Alexander!
And the bitumen did not chew, you mean?
by Alexander
What is BITUM
and ******
She is offensive!!! to

--------
Well, if you like thick low-growth girls, then yes)))
— — —

The female geneticity does not depend on volume/height/density etc. and :)
and Don Haim.

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №111023
 22.03.2015
A: What microphone is better to record an acoustic violin? What is the minimum cost of a microphone that will give a more or less decent sound? Naturally, it should transmit high frequencies well, but at low frequencies (less than the salt of the small octave, hz, as much as it is in hertz) you can actually hit. And yes, the soundtrack is normal, built-in, no new money
B: If the speaker is built-in, then the genius microphone is best suited for 80 rubles. You can try to find a B for 50.

[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №111022
 22.03.2015
Right now there is a cartoon about some gin (a bond of the type of "Old Hottabich", but not that)
JIN: Tell me, dear Heck, what year is it?
Gec: 1865
Jinn: Oh woe to me! I spent 3000 years in this damned bowl!! to
...
How did he, fucking, think of it?? to

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №111021
 22.03.2015
I had a vision that in the near future electronic gadgets would be miniaturized to the point of view – and therefore their body would be jewelry.
The future of the century will appear,
as the classic "elphic" armbands or tiars - with a projection "self-flower" in the center (googling glasses in this sense - a deadborn idea)
A set of fingers on the fingers as spatial manipulators. The rings will be soft and discreetly (like a mouse wheel) rotating around the fingers.
That is, in the near future, in front of the face of every passenger of the subway will hang a semi-transparent cubic meter of display, in which you can drive the cursor with your fingers and throw chickens in pigs from scale.
c) Look for yourself

[ + 22 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №111020
 22.03.2015
From Khabr, from the discussion of the Tesla S recovery system:

It’s like a wildly stubborn brain stroke: “Let’s model the situation. I bought a Russian car. From that part of Siberia, where -40 in winter is the norm. And also he went to the field, on such a charge of the battery, when the Android makes "out-out" and cuts off the backlight. But the Russians don’t give up and stick an electric car to a truck to charge the battery.”

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