bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №64540
 22.05.2012
I'm a loaf in your parade, I'm an inscription in your elevator!
XXX I'm a little bit in your keyboard
XXX I’m in your cup.
XXX I show on your trousers
I have nails on your feet.
XXX I'm a puppy in your hallway
XXX I wear your shirt.
XXX is black.
YYY: I’m a client who calls at 18:30 on Friday and says something needs to be done urgently.
xxx I am a director requiring an annual report immediately after the customer call on Friday at 18-30
yyy I am the favorite woman who, five minutes later, asks URGENT to come to her.
I am friends who call for beer right after a woman
I'm half a bottle of whiskey suddenly found on the table right after all this
Yyy, I’m a neighbor who says you’re flooding him.
I am the evacuator driver who steals your car.
xxx I am a firefighter who stands next to the driver of the evacuator
I'm a fool with an iPhone that takes it all.
XXX I TP in the window where you came to take your car
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
xxx I'm at the window, which tells him how these pidders took the car not by law
xxx I am a hookup who stops you on a newly picked car and finds out what documents you put in there
I am the beloved woman who calls during hysteria with this haishnik and says - sunny, and how do I, you, don't want to see me?

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №64539
 22.05.2012
The night before the exam
I almost passed Crysis.
YYY: just don’t tell anyone this news anymore, and then nobody will share it with us tomorrow.

[ + 32 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №64538
 22.05.2012
A beautiful film, this John Carter, in one frame the princess declares that there are no rivers, lakes, reservoirs on Mars, and in the next they are swimming on the river.

[ + 30 - ] [3 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №64537
 22.05.2012
11.05.2012 at 09 hours 20 minutes in the r-n Tallinn, on street. Fedorovsky 2, unestablished driver, driving presumably on a foreign-produced car, dark gray color, moving from the side of street. Mines on the side of Ul. Fyodorovsky, wrongly chosen the safe speed of movement, allowed to take a car and crash on a pedestrian - a woman born in 1984 (being on the 12th month of pregnancy), after which carried the victim to the injury point of Talakh and escaped from the scene.

From the GIBD

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №64536
 22.05.2012
Katya
Midnight and the rest tomorrow.

Dmitry
We will discuss tomorrow. I can't say my hamster is dead and I'm depressed

Katya
Ok Senks

Dmitry
Do you not feel sorry for my dead hamster, heartless cattle?

Katya
Where did you get your hamster? You did not have.

Dmitry
Well, if I had been

Katya
Fuck the fool. Which are you tomorrow?

Dmitry
by 3

Katya
Post so late?

Dmitry
Chora Chora

Katya
Go with your hammer!

[ + 30 - ] [3 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №64535
 22.05.2012
I will kill you all!
WOW: You are getting dumb.
HH: I will try!
There are currently 7 000 000 000 people on Earth.
Average birth rate: 20 per thousand per year. Total per year: 140 000 000
Well, well, well, how much will you kill one person on average?
Well, let’s say, it would take me 3 seconds to kill one person.
WOW: Then: 20 times a minute*60 minutes an hour*24 hours a day*365 days a year.
Total: 10 512 000 people per year.
He is a loser! You can’t stop the natural growth.

[ + 37 - ] Comment quote №64534
 22.05.2012
X: Will you come today?? to
YYY : No. I have a Foxmore.
XXX What Happened?! to
Yyy: Imagine I’m going to the parking lot, I don’t touch anyone. And here, suddenly, because of the corner! Fuck how fucking!! to

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №64533
 22.05.2012
He stood in the court building, reading samples of statements. One pleased me. In free translation:
I ask you to recognize citizen Ivan Ivanov Ivanovich as the father of citizen Petrov Petrovich.

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №64532
 22.05.2012
Xxx: women foolish men shit happiness in the work, right? :D
yyy: no) work foolish, men foolish, happiness in the grandmothers :DD

[ + 39 - ] Comment quote №64531
 22.05.2012
You have to live your life so that Google knows about it.
YYYY: I didn’t know about YouTube.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №64530
 22.05.2012
Ra is
"to go you naked" - I thought, and sent a smile

Sergi
and :-)

[ + 43 - ] Comment quote №64529
 22.05.2012
But he says firmly that his parents forbade him from playing for a long time because the TV sat down.
-Dear, you are 25 years old, you have a diploma of engineer Kipia and 2 grade of telemaster. Tell me, monster, what can you sit on TV?

The engineers went. On the old TVs from the continuous work "settled" kinescopes.
They lost brightness and color. Game consoles issued such bright colors that overheating after 5 hours of play did its job.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №64528
 22.05.2012
I read the news: "In the Tomsk region illegally watched «House-2» at night."
It began... Uriah!! to

[ + 19 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №64527
 22.05.2012
My dear, I need you very much.
I need you too, sweet. I love you!
M is m. Remember, you pushed a pimple on my back? He jumped there again and I can’t get to him :(

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №64526
 22.05.2012
Okay, how do you do it yourself? How about exams?

pe4enko: Excellent exams in Russian algebra)

Are you sure what the Russians wrote? XD is

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №64525
 22.05.2012
From the hub:"In the journey we will encounter long sections of the road, sharp turns, cracks and idiots."
I even know which country the author is from.

[ + 30 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №64524
 22.05.2012
I’m not preparing for the session because I don’t have it.
I’m not afraid to leave the universe because I’m not studying in it.
I’m not afraid to go to the army because I got a soldier.
I totally lost the fear.

[ + 50 - ] [3 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №64523
 22.05.2012
Dear manufacturers of household appliances!
Realize, please, my (and not only) childhood dream: finally create a vacuum cleaner that you need to wear on your back, not to pull after you, like a plug! Yes, and let it turn on somewhere on the hose.
A real battle with the garbage ghost!

[ + 46 - ] Comment quote №64522
 22.05.2012
DeSp: Yes, you can’t switch often, you break!
And that’s what I’ve said about Piper before! no, and the pipiska works, and the hair on the palms does not grow, and do not blind again!))
DeSp: You know... I didn't want to tell you... but in fact your hands are hairy... and you don't see it because with vision trouble (((

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №64521
 22.05.2012
What did he mean when he said:"Thank you for not ending"?

The best quotes and jokes from the bezdna