bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №99549
 22.06.2014
News from St. Petersburg:
"Ambulance" shot down at the crossing of a police officer."

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №99548
 22.06.2014
It was 22 days of my crazy summer. He beat the cat for a seat on the pillow.

[ + 15 - ] Comment quote №99547
 22.06.2014
My husband for his birthday wanted to order a medalion based on the series of books of Sapkovsky "The Witcher". My husband loves these books. And I too. Great language and stories. The classic fantasy. Oh well okay. I was distracted. There are no such medals for sale. I found a man who made them manually from scratch. But in June, I couldn’t pay, I had to get out. I paid a few weeks ago and started waiting for a package. To make a surprise to my husband, I ordered not at our address, but at the parent’s. I had an agreement with them in June.
Yesterday, the package left Moscow and I, going to my mother, decided to warn her again. How I felt, fucking))) Mom changes in the face and knows an extremely interesting story. It turns out they have already received an order letter. Of course, the agreement was forgotten. Opened, and there is an incomprehensible medalion. Panic began in the village))) they called their extra-sense-gallery, with whom they have been communicating for a long time, she said that it was a curse imposed on them and that the medalion was sent for confirmation)) that it needs to be burned and buried in the forest. It is black magic.
In short, with half-panic, they went into the woods yesterday, burned him there, and then buried him.
Medallion, silver and manual work. But I was so roasted (you won’t say otherwise) yesterday as I left my mother (she had to reassure me that I wasn’t angry). As I can imagine, they burned the letter, buried it somewhere in the woods)))) I still nervously chick))))

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №99546
 22.06.2014
I read in some article, something like “it’s not the past decade” and I realized with horror that they’re not about the 90s.

[ + 23 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №99545
 22.06.2014
China where all kinds of equipment and all kinds of things are manufactured, so after placing an order in the Chinese online store you will not get it after a week or two (which would be logical considering the distance), and you will get in the best case in a month or two, even if the tea station will work out in a week and deliver the parcel to the Russian Federation, as well. The parcel goes to Moscow for a disbursement, after which through the whole country, the bljad goes back! How the post office of Russia works, I think, everyone knows. With equipment imported from China by ordinary sellers, the situation is similar - the goods make the way - China - Moscow - Far East, because of which the goods due to the costs of transportation and twisting are 20-30% more expensive than in Moscow. Everything was promised to make a settlement in Khabarovsk or Vladivostok, but the train is still there.

– – – – –

Do like the Peters. They order to the post office of the nearest Finnish town. In China, there are border cities focused on trade with Russia.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №99544
 22.06.2014
I read this to a colleague sitting at a neighbor’s table (he lived in Khabarovsk for more than 10 years).
I made tea, went to smoke - a colleague is still sitting and chewing.
The average OFFICIAL SP in Khabarovsk for 2013 amounted to more than 30 tonnes.
____________________________________________________________________________

Golubcik, your colleague in Khabarovsk accidentally did not compile official salary statistics, right? In our town, some clever man at the regional assembly that in the area the average salary was 20 pieces, so the hall was not that it was not rotting - he cried. Because in the hall there were teachers who had the real average in the regional center - exactly the same 10-12, about which the previous commentator wrote. In the village, there is a minimum of pleasure.
by PS. Reminds Goblin, who a couple of years ago in his trip to Spain met so many Russian vacationers that he sincerely stated that the opposition invented a devastating Russia.

[ + 15 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №99543
 22.06.2014
by Sergei:
"ich nem Kind nen Duplo"
How it translates!? to
Google translated I give a child in double

by Anna:
gggggggggggggggggggggggg
I am hysterical.
Generally "I’ll take a baby’s duo" (this is chocolate like that)

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №99542
 22.06.2014
Commentary under the video on TyTub, where the operator tries to call the manula with the help of "kys-kys":
Do you check whether the cat works or not?

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №99541
 22.06.2014
here here :

This is:

At work, it is seriously believed that if you boil the teaspoon a second time, then a deutery is formed.

The third time?

What is happening is terrible to imagine...

[ + 6 - ] Comment quote №99540
 22.06.2014
We photographed somehow with friends an apartment (3 guys 2 rooms), we would have a spherical in a vacuum. Once I decided to invite a girl to visit (well or she asked for it herself, I don't remember exactly). Seeing our ordered chaos - the girl decided to "help" and do the cleaning. At the moment when she was finishing laying things in the closet, a friend approached and said, "We are not so accepted," he began to pull all the things back.

[ + 17 - ] Comment quote №99539
 22.06.2014
Almost until now I have been indifferent to DV and even to him, and now I will start to hate its inhabitants in response, and simply because people who hate me don’t feel sympathy. And who won from this? and :)
-------------------------
As always, the leaders won. As long as the plebees pour out their hatred on each other, the patricians take out everyone, and nothing threatens this situation. The principle of "divide and rule", which was known and used by the ancient Romans, in action.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №99538
 22.06.2014
No, well, if I am prepared to go to the wall - either marry or break up, I will cling to my female happiness with my teeth!

I will break up with him.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №99537
 22.06.2014
From the student's questionnaire (in the case of employment):
"Status of the family: small"...

[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №99536
 22.06.2014
I can still understand about flights to Europe through Moscow. Almost on the way. But why to fly from Yekaterinburg to Krasnoyarsk through Moscow? On a trip to Siberia because of this we ride a train, some debility.

— — — —

In no case allow foreign airlines on domestic flights. And then it turns out that our effective managers are not so effective.

[ + 26 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №99535
 22.06.2014
If Germany wins Ghana and Nigeria reaches the 1/8 finals, 90 minutes will hang on the screens of the world.
and NIG-GER

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №99534
 22.06.2014
News about the ban

So I imagine, the special forces flying in masks, behind them comes a man in a leather jacket: "All stay in place, the state control works!"

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №99533
 22.06.2014
Is Togliatti Russia?
Ivan Montecki: Well, if they did not hold a referendum, then yes

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №99532
 22.06.2014
It is not scars that decorate a man, but a beautiful woman next to him.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №99531
 22.06.2014
to this:

Do you always put your daughter under gun music?
If not, and you do not have a mansion in 20 rooms, then the idea of a bad house is not so bad.

told a acquaintance.
The late Soviet era. The house is a former family residence, i.e. There are mainly young families with small children. Small single room apartment. A acquaintance, finally putting her minor bandits to sleep in the afternoon, gathered a food package to her relatives in a wooden package box and began, without any back-thinking, in her corridor to knit her, knocking a lot of small nails into the cover. A bell at the door, an irritated neighbor on the threshold, living on the floor above:
You don’t know who’s been there for half an hour! I cannot put a child!
Don’t be angry, it’s me, I’m sleeping.

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №99530
 22.06.2014
Incorporated Rene TV.

There, a man with a metal detector asks the painted Jigurd in his shirt: "Some steel is going?", Jigurd cleverly looks into the camera and answers with a roaring bass: "Eggs!"

Shut off the TV.

The best quotes and jokes from the bezdna