bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №133868
 22.09.2016
Reference to the router:

As I established I remember hardly, I bought for 600r wash for 1000r. In the morning I got up, everything was working, updated and Russified, so it’s not difficult.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №133867
 22.09.2016
Article on refusal of alcohol. One plus is "You will love the morning". The comments:
Katerina Kozlova: No such thing, sorry. As I hated the morning, so I hate it, and the lack of alcohol does not help.

Drink it in the morning :)

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №133866
 22.09.2016
VenomBlood Let’s start by finding ears that can hear 24bit/192 kHz. Let’s talk about the battery.
ApplejackApple Dolphins can, like.
VenomBlood I’m not ready to buy my dolphin a player that doesn’t have an IP67 minimum.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №133865
 22.09.2016
Pocket computer (already smart, but not yet the background), the next assembly of the software does not fit in the flash. The guys from the OS core team look over and tell the management: we will find you 256 bytes, and another 256 - find yourself where to save. They are heroes, they are respected and respected. I ask: Where did you get those bytes? Answer: This is not our first project, so there is a variable static char _xpeh_tam [2048] in the nucleus, which is not used anywhere and is announced for such cases. We just replaced it with static char _xpeh_tam[1792].

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №133864
 22.09.2016
I was a lion and now I am a cancer.

<><><>>
Everything changed under our zodiac: the Lion became a goat, and the virgin became cancer.
Pushkin in 1835.

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №133863
 22.09.2016
and zersh: 
We have good boys going. Oxana literally told me yesterday. We went to the river to feed. They took bread with them. The boy rushed, and he said, “Don’t give me bread!” I will feed too! Oksana as a good soul gave half - I thought, well, will tear and throw, ughu.... from scale, the whole tear-off piece flew into the duck - give more! O_O

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №133862
 22.09.2016
The pursuit of two rabbits can be more effective than the pursuit of one mol.

[ + 26 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №133861
 22.09.2016
Angelina is gone...What will Brad do?

Yyy is Pitt. And a lot.

[ + 39 - ] Comment quote №133860
 22.09.2016
Recently, the neighbor's upper floor closer to the night began to chew a dog. Funny so, slightly whispering, crawling. I met them in the elevator and said, "I congratulate you, the dog was brought. It’s very funny with you.” At the same time, the guy throws such a look at the girl, and she is filled with paint... And here I understand what a naive and unstable horse.

[ + 20 - ] Comment quote №133859
 22.09.2016
News about NASA horoscopes
xxxxxxxxxxx:
Horoscopes are interesting.
I will be an old man.
Go on, I’m weighing.
I do not recognize a serpent.

YYYY
Like all of us
Here are our children.

HHH
Dad, I am a serpent.
Silence, puppy, you were eating and you will be a true scorpion.
or more
Daddy, Daddy, the horoscope said that weights will have a great day and success at work.
The old style?

[ + 49 - ] Comment quote №133858
 22.09.2016
Gave the heating. In the apartment there are old sections. In the kitchen, it started to drop from under the dust. Not very much, but you have to do it. I called the ZEU and submitted a request. I have 1000 rubles in my pocket, I think it’s enough. An hour later, the sanitary officer came, looked at the battery, went down, turned off the stand, returned, did everything, turned the stand back, nothing runs. It is great! I ask :

How much of me?

- Well at the price of 500 stand off, 500 turn on and 800 work itself. In total, 1800, but it is through the box office, through the box office, it is more expensive. Give me 1,500 and count.

and.. I don’t have enough cash on the map. You said nothing immediately.

Go and take it to the bank. Call me later, I will come.

I left the number and left. I’m not a scump, but 1, 5 cats in 10 minutes of work is a lot. I will call again at ZEU, I will find out about the price: 450 off + turn on the stand and 150 work, a total of 600! ! to ! to I call the sanitary, I say I will pay through the box, he knocked something, dropped it. While I was gathering in ZEU, a bell knocked on the door. I open, there is a sanitary technician (C) and master on the site (M).

Q: Why do you refuse to pay?

I: I am not refusing! I am going to the box.

Q: Can I look at the work done?

I: Yes please.

Go to the kitchen. The master examined the battery.

Q: Are there claims about work?

I: Not at work, it’s okay.

M: Then pay, with you 2000 rubles

I am 0_0

I told him 1800.

M : A! Did you give him a discount?

I was bombed! What is BL? Did he still make me a shit discount? ! to ? to The shit marketer! Pink carries them out of the apartment. I go to Jeju. I am drawn up an act of the work done, I pay for it 600 rubles, in parallel I learn that with sanitary technicians often such problems, but there are few complaints about them to tighten. suggested to write. I thought that I was not such a cattle, the salary of men probably is not the same, they are turning as they can. went home. I go out with the ZEU, and on the doorstep is just that master standing, smoking. He saw me and proclaimed, "What, shit, saved 100 rubles? “” What to say. I quietly came back and complained to them.

[ + 48 - ] Comment quote №133857
 22.09.2016
Once, at the reception, a patient told me such a story. She had a grandmother who in her youth was a partisan in the forests of Belarus. One day she was surrounded by a group. Almost everyone in the battle was shot, and the grandmother (at that time a young girl) was taken captive. Apparently, the Germans counted on the fact that they could get a lot of valuable info from the young saboteur. It was at night, they were locked in the barracks and the guard was put out in the amount of one Fritz. At some point, the supervisor decided that the Russian freelancer was quite suitable for the realization of his long-standing sexual fantasies and, on the rights of the winner, decided to master it. In one word, the phosphid did it... But the grandmother was not of the weak nerves. Using the fact that Fritz at the height of orgasm lost all control over himself, the young guerrilla caught removed a knife from his belt and made several super-complete holes in his body. Bringing Hansa to the dead state and thus paying the debt to the Motherland and to others personally. For Stalin, the girl left the location of the German part (having captured, of course, the trophy shamer) and hid in her native forest.

At the end of her story, the patient said, “So my grandmother killed my grandfather.”

[ + 15 - ] Comment quote №133856
 22.09.2016
and lol. Do you want effects? The next time the remedy for gonorrhea ask to pick up, to be more effective, not to the doctor, not to go, not the first time.

///////////////////////////
Where did this fall from?
Tsiprolet 500 1 (one!) The tablet. and all. and health.
And the pharmacists in the pharmacy really boast what you buy there.
Like the cashiers in the store, when you are a “pivander with seeds” you force the entire tape.
Although, of course, if the pharmacy is one for the whole village and aunt Luba, a friend of my mom, works there, then, I agree - from the tripak, there will be a means to ask.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №133855
 22.09.2016
He realized that it was time to put order in the refrigerator when someone came out of the vegetable box and bit him in the hand.

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №133854
 22.09.2016
day of elections. The weather is disgusting. It has been raining since morning. The headquarters monitors the will process. Suddenly a call from an agent from the polling station: catastrophe! The zero appearance. Before entering the site is a shallow, but rather extensive pit. In the morning, the commission came and took the defense. And then the rain filled the field like a world town. And citizens who are not too inclined to water-dirty procedures are abstained from going to the urn. What to do?! to

The headquarters feels rectal stimulation. The phones of the city administration, the DRSU, the managing company, the god soul his mother in the grave are broken... Two hours later, Kamaz-samosval with a sludge runs into the courtyard of the unlucky polling station and rolls the contents of the body into the damned pit. It quickly crashes from place and disappears in the water.
The water displaced from the basin floods twice the area, turning it into impassable dirt. But in the place of the lawn rises a careful pebble hill. Carefully supporting the door of the polling station. The Electoral Commission (UIC) quietly whispers the blocked inside. Voters refuse to re-qualify as rock climbers-speleologists and still do not go to the trap of free choice. A quietly mad UIC begins to raise wild ideas like voting through the window.
The headquarters in total madness is sitting on the phones again. Erch your copper, are you completely squeezed, architects of the Tuevas? Why did you cast stones on the polling station? quickly to dig. Kamaz arrives, four men jump out with their blades, throw a slice, jump back into the body. Kamaz quickly unfolds over the scattered slice and, leaving two wide beads, instantly filled with rainwater, again disappears in the distance.
The choked headquarters runs on the agitators - running on the entrances, all on the Autodore, children! Wear voters to the urns. Take the portable urns that are available and run through the apartments! The appearance! The appearance! The appearance! You are here, Masha! It is close to catalytic. Observers don’t care about everything, they’d just get out of captivity. People with urns from running under the rain jump through the kamazi canyons. With tiny umbrellas cover the bulletins and urns from rainy streams.
It is time to close the site. The urns were drawn, someone was persuaded to come and vote. It seems like it is time to summarize the results. And here in the room comes such a God-grandmother. “Where are you going to vote?” he asked.
Sorrow is full. The doors of the site are closed, the crocodile river outside. Where did she come from through the window? It turns out, no. I arrived in the morning, still dry. Tired of a long journey. She sat down on the staircase at the battery and fell asleep. I slept by night and got out of the shelter. With a persistent intention to pour out what has been accumulated. Put a cross in the county.

Do you know what’s fun about this saga? At the highest level in the city.

[ + 54 - ] Comment quote №133853
 22.09.2016
If a fire occurs in an elderly home, such homes are checked across the country. If the elevator wire is broken, check all the elevators. Gas explosion, the whole farm is checked. and so on. I sit, I wonder... If the colonel of the Ministry of Internal Affairs found an apartment filled with money, why do we not hear about checking the apartments of all the colonels of the Ministry of Internal Affairs? And the generals?

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №133852
 22.09.2016
The most useful thing Windows has learned to do over the last 15 years is to take the app up without rebooting!

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №133851
 22.09.2016
Pizdec, our HRs are hackers from God
Just one mailing message that they posted photos from the corporation they placed the file server deaf)))

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №133850
 22.09.2016
Pirra Renard: How is it? Let’s say, the ass is looking for adventure, but the head does not let. I feel somewhat tired between them.)

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №133849
 22.09.2016
A good shower.
But he sings in the toilet.
Lucy: Until morning far away, you are in my hands
I will build you a castle, a castle of cacao.
Lucy: What do you think?
Juliet: Get out of there.

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