bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №108511
 23.01.2015
<Veter[work]> 3 years ago
<Veter[work]> In the corner of the warehouse our ***** broke the sewer with a loader
<Veter[work]> And not to get rid of it
<disney[work]> how did you get rid of it? )
<Veter[work]> independently "solved the problem" the effect of laying a hammer from a five-liter plastic bottle
<Ziz_> I thought isolated
<Veter[work]> But did not consider that under the floor the pipe also continues
<Veter[work]> Toughened Meat
<Veter[work]> instead of going where you should
<Veter[work]> From damaged under the floor of the pipe perforated around the corner of the building
<Veter[work]> And there safely frozen
<Veter[work]> Blessings are on board -25
<Veter[work]> Gradually freezing blocked the drainage into the sewerage
<disney[work]> I am funny
<Veter[work]> It was found today
<Veter[work]> when from the ceiling of the expedition chamber on the surprised chief of the warehouse struck a disgusting smelly substance
<Veter[work]> Used to find out
<Veter[work]> Driving on the second floor
<Veter[work]> They took the burners and started heating the spot of the breakdown under the floor
<Veter[work]> But little did not take into account that the vertical pillar of fluid feces is under high pressure
<Veter[work]> And naturally when the ice-cockpit was melted
<Veter[work]> fucking geyser e***ul with all its strength and power

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №108510
 23.01.2015
Anyone can catch the world
with the youth of Gorlopa,
Which Second World War
I’m a little confused with Troy.
by I. Guberman

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №108509
 23.01.2015
I am an internship in technical support.. I have never spoken in my dreams before (at least not noticed). In the evening, I watched the Hobbit before going to bed, at night, no matter what, I issued:" A complaint has arrived on the dwarves, you need to send them a letter!" (the guy told, he does not sleep at night) then:"they use the mountain unlicensed!" Briefly calmed, only when he said he would write himself.

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №108508
 23.01.2015
A small child sometimes gets so much that there is no strength. He can’t do anything quietly, he always needs someone nearby. He is ready to sit down on you and torture you. Always ruin everything and do something that is not possible.
It is a trans.

yyy: and throw it when you are on the building and you have two dozen such

XX: Do you understand the words?

YYY: At first it seems that yes. And then it turns out that it is not (

[ + 28 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №108507
 23.01.2015
The second is like masturbation. Simple, cool and great. Especially in adolescence, when an alternative is not yet available. And serious, primary literature (scientific, classical, historical sources) is like sex with an elegant woman. Just astonishing! With miserable feelings from masturbation it is funny even to compare.
_________________________
Please provide a list of "primary" literature. Or you will start reading some Lermontov or Shakespeare - and it will prove that similar stories have already been in the Slavic epic, the Nordic edds and the myths of Drifna Greece. And all, consider it memorable.

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №108506
 23.01.2015
I support a reasonable and thoughtful proposal. I also propose to withdraw the RPC from television and other public institutions supported by taxpayers, including those who categorically do not accept the RPC.
-------------------
And also to prohibit the RPC from conducting business and other financial activities with a positive balance, as this contradicts the main dogmatic source and, therefore, offends the feelings of believers.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №108505
 23.01.2015
In short, the outcome. I come home from the day count, slept 2 hours - I make tea from a bag. I approached for a minute, looking at the water in the cup, even the color has not changed. Well, I went away for a moment, then again look - again the color has not changed, touched with my hand - hot. A spoon began to mix in order to somehow speed up this process - nephiga does not help. I’m already pulling the thread, I think maybe the bag is empty... and this shit was paper on the other side, and the bag of tea itself was weapons behind the ring instead of that paper. Thus e. I tried to make tea from paper, even mixing became this type of - well, let's get in the pace already...

[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №108504
 23.01.2015
Tagged: favourite
Oh, sorry not to you.

I mean, am I a fucking fuck?
Shit not to you.

You and Dawn are finished.
Natasha, don’t you look in which window you’re writing?
Go on, impotent unfortunate. Talk about yourself first, then talk about others.
Oh sorry, I’m not going anymore. My boyfriend got me.
YY: It is happening.

Okay, sorry, I missed your sweetheart.
YYY: I will give you a good luck! You are a fool watch first what you write, and most importantly who in which window! And in the third, you are fired, in the working hours you have to work, not in the ass to rewrite!! to

[ + 25 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №108503
 23.01.2015
My father asked for a note while I was going to work — like sitting on the net. On the first evening I come and find a porn banner that deliberately blocks the system. He did not understand and went to the workshop. And before what was offensive when the phrase "that it is not me" I was answered "everyone says so". This is a hickey behind the back. The fuck!

[ + 22 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №108502
 23.01.2015
Leonid Leonov: Your life is an exam. After death, there will be automatic sorting in different directions. It is more than heaven and hell. I was there. We were sent to earth to save the light. Maybe people will make the end of the world soon. There is such a possibility. When human bodies are burned up in the apocalypse, we will go into battle to try to save the light and then re-occupy the world with people. I am standing in the tenth row, one hundred and eighty on the flank. There is a monster in front of me. He is 15 percent stronger than me. His power grows on human sins, like on yeast. I can’t get along with him. Do not make people evil. It just won’t go out of your hand.
GarryStar: You just misrepresented your character, if you put all the glasses in force at the 80th level, then the monster with one eye will lie down with a pair of ticks!

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №108501
 23.01.2015
Pegasus: And the map people, when they think in their head - maps?

Fuck, I started because of you.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №108500
 23.01.2015
Working from home is easy! Two children’s playgrounds in 50 meters one from the other.

“Mama, we’ll go there, right?
No son. WF does not get there.

[ + 20 - ] Comment quote №108499
 23.01.2015
xxx: Hi...this is a wicked question.
yyy: Your multi-point adds so much drama, I always look forward to a straight epic question
YYY: be careful
XXX: I am looking for a microwave oven. Didn’t he get up to the fifth floor?

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №108498
 23.01.2015
The wife, smiling, shows the one-year-old daughter pictures with animals and says:
The dog has-ha
Pony – Igo
Pineapple - (wrapped with the head) brwlgrvl
The Turtle (it stopped smiling)

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №108497
 23.01.2015
Maximal: Crimea has just become a lactose paper.
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Maximum in Wikipedia.
There was no chemistry in school.
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
It would be better with chemistry.

[ + 39 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №108496
 23.01.2015
In my almost forgotten time as a student, I was sitting on a lecture on a subject related to literature. We had such a classic St. Petersburg professor, fascinatingly telling, whom a couple of alternative talented people wanted to provoke to pick-up.

What do you think of Lukyanenko? One of them asked, expecting that the professor would go into the shit, and they would prove to him how wrong he was.

Lukyanenko is the master of his business. - suddenly with respect said the professor (here all surprisingly silenced), - few people know how to so skillfully instruct a failed person that he is not a failure, but on the contrary - the chosen, that he has been given "some knowledge" and, in a sense, he even "parit over the grey majority". This explains the popularity of these books. But it is better for you to clarify the details with teachers in business disciplines or psychology, because here we are still discussing literature, that is, an area that does not include Lukyanenko.

And I continued to talk about the cook)))))

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №108495
 23.01.2015
The country of fools and the planet of idiots.
We sent two packages simultaneously – to Japan and Italy. In Japan, the 18th was already received, the Italian 15th arrived in Italy and got up (today the 22nd).
I talk about it with an Italian recipient. Her reaction :

Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah
............................... we're Italy
– – –

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №108494
 23.01.2015
Should I indicate that I hired a third, or is it so obvious?)

That is all I have to do. Grow up people. Good books and pleasure will bring and open all doors to you.

Obviously another: You hired a person who was closer to you in terms of worldview, education and views.
But that doesn’t mean it’s the only right option.
I am a classical musician and like no one know the price of the phrase " about the tastes do not argue".
Because I’m almost indifferent to classics, but I love jazz and funk.
At one point, she said to herself, I will never judge anyone for his musical preferences, and the same applies to literary preferences.
One thing is undoubted: the classic is worth reading and listening at least to understand that it is not yours.
And most of the time it is "I did not read (hearing), but I condemn".
Good luck to all cats.)

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №108493
 23.01.2015
Apple, my mother, please don’t stop at half-measures, don’t ban the sale of Apple phones only in Crimea. In Russia, too, do not sell, too (we are to blame, in other words, the sanctions from the Apples on us). You can’t imagine the percentage of decreased pantry, glamour, selfies and other garbage on the net.

I was thinking about how to get back the precinct.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №108492
 23.01.2015
I realized it was time to get married.

The commander asks:
Q: Are you married with us?
I : No.
N: (good) Then you work this Sunday

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