bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 76 - ] Comment quote №25215
 24.01.2010
Will we be fucking tomorrow?
YYY: We’re all fucking, but I’m not sure about tomorrow.

[ + 90 - ] Comment quote №25214
 24.01.2010
Spring is cool!
YYY: Noah, it’s shit in the spring.
X: Well, you can’t pay attention to it.
Yyyy: If you do not pay attention to the shit, then you can get into it!

[ + 62 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №25213
 24.01.2010
Lovely girls of us! When you call a guy "pocan", be prepared for what you will be called "toll".

[ + 88 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №25212
 24.01.2010
Assistance on the way:

Help me, or I’ll go crazy.
There appeared on my fingers. They hurt. I marry. A maid came, with a needle. Grit, let’s draw a cross on the nail – it will pass. Well, I stumbled, but poem, I say, paint. I painted. went to sleep. I wake up in the morning and...
Fuck the fuck, how, fuck the fuck? How does it work?? to

You are, burn on the fire. For the prevention :)

[ + 85 - ] [4 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №25211
 24.01.2010
Taken from IT Happens:
A woman calls our service:
and allo. Could you come? I have a virus.
of course. How does the virus act?
The image on the screen is dark, and in the middle the web is white.
I am surprised, we come. What you might think - on the table was a laptop with a broken monitor and a cracked body in a non-commercial form. To our surprise, the girl reacted calmly:
I crashed the computer. He began to work slowly. A friend said it was a virus, and offered to drop it again so that it disappeared. I crashed, and the virus ate all the files.

To be honest, until yesterday I thought full blondes were only in anecdotes!

[ + 56 - ] Comment quote №25210
 24.01.2010
Voice of the Soul (22:50:00 21/01/2010)
As they say, the period of delivery of work by the programmer is a clearly verified date + half a year

[ + 60 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №25209
 24.01.2010
Today I go to the subway, next to my uncle is sitting, such a whole beard, in his glasses, holding leaflets and reading something so carefully. Well, I, like any visitor to the subway, looked there, and there were some crocodiles. You know when you change the encoding, and the booklets subra type aaa, yes ooo, with the emphasis on top. And many of these letters, in different order only! All AAA to AAA. And he did not, 5 sheets of A4 format these letters and read... Aliens among us?

[ + 94 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №25208
 24.01.2010
Same with you(11:02)
This morning, when I woke up, I found that the pillow on which I slept was torn, and a good portion of the filler was dragged by the cat into the remote corner of the room in order to improve living conditions. But that is not all. When I approached the roaring pet, along with this cattle, apparently, his conscience awakened, and he in good faith, pretending not to notice me, began to wear and carefully fold the filler on the bed next to the pillow :)

[ + 95 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №25207
 24.01.2010
Recently there was history. One evening, during a date on the square, my girlfriend reports that she has long liked another young man and our relationship no longer makes sense. After a short conversation, she leaves, and I, since I’ve gotten out of everything, decide to stick to the robbers sitting on the nearby bench. Either I will be angry, or I will be beaten, which is more likely, at least it will be easier.
Oh you fools! Why did they disperse? You who are in the hat, come here!
I expect further action on their part. One of them approaches me and says:
Do not play you. It will be Nishchikovsky. With everyone happens, you will find yourself a better girl.
He gives me a bottle of beer and goes back to his. Standing for a couple of seconds with a stinking look, I think it can be for the better. And brewing a slice of the gifted drink I step towards the house.

[ + 85 - ] Comment quote №25206
 24.01.2010
About friendly sex.
I have a friend, very brutal behavior, by character considered a man. But with all her lifestyle, it should be noted, her appearance is very even available.
Once (after another joint drinking) we wake up with her in the same bed, obviously after the same". I get up, I look at the surrounding shame, and the first thing that flies out of the tongue is the heavy "Torture...". To which she, even through a dream, gives out: "Okay, do not worry, once not pidaras".
In general, after that story, I suddenly had a persistent aversion to friendly sex.

[ + 92 - ] [4 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №25205
 24.01.2010
The railroad went fucking well and raised the price of electricity three times. Yes, at 200 percent of the bullshit. Before the New Year was 14 rubles, after 16.50. Everyone is accustomed to New Year’s holidays. But less than a month later, the journey from Uhtomka to Vyhino was paid 42 rubles for 50 kopecks. This is a fucking shit.
They are pushing people into bribery. I didn’t even have the thought to squeeze the controller at the exit of the chip when the ticket costs 14 rubles, even when it costs 16.50. But I don’t have 85 rubles a day for a ticket there and back. There is just no such money.
The Hate! The Anger! The rays of them!

[Chernyshaw]

[ + 82 - ] Comment quote №25204
 24.01.2010
nick
By the way, Linux recently turned 18, so sex with it is now legal

[ + 129 - ] Comment quote №25203
 24.01.2010
Today my daughter(11 years) received a text message "mama this is my new number...BlaBlaBla"
I decided that the boys from the future lacked tenderness... And on the advice of the abyss racked them on the first naguglennoy gay dating site with both numbers)))
People do not let go! We will eradicate them.
And then we will take the readers of other people’s SMS...
Oh... well, Hyacinth is

[ + 86 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №25202
 24.01.2010
has_been_banned : Sandy saw the fight of cockroaches fighting for the pellet, falling for the computer.))
No Cigarettes: Who Won?
has_been_banned : I am

[ + 56 - ] Comment quote №25201
 24.01.2010
Just on the "Sport+" commentator, commenting on hockey says that some player has removed the deadline. And immediately, without a pause, adds, there may be people with higher education and undermined this turnover, but I looked - the percentage of those who were left and were under investigation is equal to the percentage of people with higher education. In addition, I would advise people with higher education not to give up..."

[ + 92 - ] Comment quote №25200
 24.01.2010
Lawyer: Who are you working for?
Mathematics teacher.
I’ve never played mathematics, these theorems, these suffixes.
M is mm. In fact, the sufixes are from another area.
What is the difference in geometry?

[ + 95 - ] Comment quote №25199
 24.01.2010
We rested in a large apartment. Suddenly night came and it was decided to go to bed. And since the house is large and the apartment is small, there were not enough beds for everyone. Someone was sleeping on the kitchen sofa, someone in the hallway on a mattress, someone in a chair, etc. My friend and I got a couch. We decided to lie on a valley, the size of the couch allowed. We sleep. In the middle of the night, the couch suddenly thought to break and we cried down on the floor. During the fall, a box that served as a basket for papers for the owner of the apartment was destroyed and all the garbage that lay there was evenly distributed across the floor. From the roar and scream, the whole thus escapes, runs into the room and sees the painting with oil: on the floor, among the debris of the bed, two guys in cowards sit and in front of them - a used condom (which fell out of the box). I’ve never been so ashamed before...

c) The drone

[ + 69 - ] Comment quote №25198
 24.01.2010
xxx: Better tell me how he got rid of the childhood mystery from the teacher "I am everywhere and I am nowhere. Who am I?", take and lick: "Electronic"?! to
YYY : HM Oh... Oh! You are also a physicist!

[ + 58 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №25197
 24.01.2010
<xxx> YYY
<xxx> Awesome
<yyy> One Response
<xxx> One Response to One Response
<yyy> Doubts about your sexual orientation
<xxx> The Proposal to Overthrow Ebola
<yyy> Note that you are creating a vacuum
<xxx> 1 year old
<xxx> is more
<yyy> Authorship
<xxx> The Controversy
<yyy> A meaningless statement about Plankton
<moderator> RESPONSE TO A CASUAL REPLIC AND THREAT TO Forget THE CONTRAINTING PARTIES
<yyy> Word of admiration for seafood
<moderators> Acceptance of Terms and Conditions

[ + 89 - ] Comment quote №25196
 24.01.2010
<xxx> who has the eggs of fate???? to
“I have the eggs of fate, the sausage of death, the peanut of mercy, the straw of eternity, the oil of simplicity and the salt of goodness. I will make an apocalypse egg.

The best quotes and jokes from the bezdna