bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №108538
 24.01.2015
Real intelligent people don’t read the Bible. They respect Einstein and Newton. As the practice shows, they don’t read them either.)

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №108537
 24.01.2015
Evolution of job search after the Institute:
I love my profession, I want to work in my specialty, to be a professional in my field and to earn good money!
Five with them with money, at least just to arrange for the specialty
Well then just find some sort of punishable job for adequate money and with normal conditions.
Go somewhere! ?!...

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №108536
 24.01.2015
This is:
Do you think there are stupid scientists and stupid writers? There are smart scientists and smart writers. And there are those and others who are simply not allowed to write brightly, figuratively, excitingly interesting?

There are scientists who themselves understand and okay, and if others do not understand, it is their problem.
And there are so-called "popularizers of science". They themselves understood it and they like it so much, so damn that they want others to also be good at this understanding.
This is really a rare gift.

[ + 33 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №108535
 24.01.2015
Officials are hungry. But they will not. People are going to starve, but not ready.

On that day, I watch with enthusiasm how the security forces are trying to control the economy, you will bring troops into Ashan.

Still strange though. A month ago, the lord told us how bullish the nudies are. I must starve for him today.

[ + 24 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №108534
 24.01.2015
Here, let’s say, Jews come there, and they meet – Germans, Ukrainians, Latvians, Lithuanians... That is, all the same as then, last time.
Only the Russians will not come like last time.

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №108533
 24.01.2015
News: In Yalta presented the tourist product "Golden Ring of the South of Russia". The routes will not quite understandably unite Crimea, Stavropol and Krasnodar Territory, Karachai-Cherkesia, Kabardino-Balkaria and possibly Chechnya.

Comment 1: "And you, friends, no matter how you sit down..." You can announce anything, but in the end everything will rely on infrastructure, prices and security.

Note 2: This ring will obviously be in the price. Including life insurance, taking into account Chechnya.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №108532
 24.01.2015
xxx: dirty sexists, and here got >_<
YYY: What’s going on there with you?
XHHH: Spam has just dropped a letter with great content. Quote: "You are a business man or a woman?"
Tagged with: ><

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №108531
 24.01.2015
I don't know what to say, but the roasted sushi in Japan itself is eaten by the poorest workers, the algae on the shore are rolled for free, the fish is roasted for free, the rice is the cheapest of the crops and easy to cook, and the soy sauce is soaked to repel the smell of roasted fish.
This is one of the most important things in the world.
I understand, winter holidays are all business. And the resource is no longer idle for a long time. But let us, dear, still devote your free time to the textbook of the Russian language or at least to the spelling dictionary.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №108530
 24.01.2015
by Ariane Lar:
I want to invent a thing that will turn off the internet if the disk is turned on for more than 15 minutes.

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №108529
 24.01.2015
This is one of the most important things in the world.
Find out who are the "brass" and how they "explode" the kibbits)))))

This is one of the most important things in the world.

I can say without a googl, that the beads, the beads are the traces of the wheels, which leaves the kickit, and the "explosion" is not Allah-Babakh, but in the sense of roaring in the earth. I read this poem at ten or eleven years old, it did not raise questions. Does this really have to be difficult to understand?

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №108528
 24.01.2015
xxx: I, by the way, listed you the second 30% in the days, I wrote to the mail
YYY: Yes, I have seen
YYY: It was very useful.
YYY: Imagine, I was standing in the Aasan at the box office.
I left the money in the car.
YYY: And here your letter falls.

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №108527
 24.01.2015
Here is the exercise. Shot the target in the port, then pass the corridor with the defeat of three targets. The newcomer will pass it in seconds in ten. When he passes seven, the instructor will praise him. The instructor will pass it for six. And the world record set by us is three forty-five. He was put by a girl with a height of "metre pitch in a jump with six". She does not need to bend to the port for the first shot.
She just shot and ran away.

[ + 28 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №108526
 24.01.2015
Most of all, people with the psychology of slaves dream of world domination.

[ + 51 - ] Comment quote №108525
 24.01.2015
Chocolate Candy

This story was told to me by a Scandinavian engineer with whom I was a translator. He came to Russia for some international project. For two weeks we wandered with him through the cities and weights of my vast homeland and, I must admit, we were decently tired. During the whole trip, Lars never expressed the slightest dissatisfaction with anything, although the transportation was broken, and the schedules were flying to the hell, and there was no time and nothing to eat, and we slept with a bite plus a lot of all the bureaucratic charm that our officials so kindly provide us.
Lars endured it all. He brought the matter to the end, destroyed the most complicated conflict between the participants of the project, without saying a single rude word and even reconciled almost everyone. His resignation was canceled. He acted with me like a true gentleman and for no moment forgot that the translator was also a living man, not a machine with screws. Looking at him, I unwittingly recalled the words of the classic “an intelligent man is intelligent in everything.”
The last night before his departure we sat in the hotel bar, he relaxed a little and accidentally spoke that he is very sorry that he did not get to Siberia. In my blurred eyes with a silent question, “What about Siberia?” he told this story.
“It was a long time ago, in the early 1990s. I came to Russia for the first time. In one project too. Everyone was driving, who was not lazy. The country is rich, there is a lot of confusion, there are many opportunities, but my bosses sent me. Especially because in their understanding I “speak Russian.” That is, I knew,, the words of thirty and a few sentences from the category "How much is it worth?"
A translator was assigned to me. A girl at all, only after school, such a puppy with a puppy. I went to work to help my family to feed. But interpretative, he knew the language as his native and translated as a professional. We also had to wander in different places, and took us somehow to Siberia. I preferred to decide on the spot, so I got there.
I feed from morning to night, I see my girl silenced. He tells me, let’s go, let’s go, let’s go faster, nothing for me. I know Pasha. I think women’s caprices. He was a fool, a young man, a fool. He went to work and translated it all. And after the work day, I went to the hotel to rest, and she went to look for supplies. The food was stressful, and I naturally didn’t hit my head with it. It is under the terms of the contract, so it is, and there is nothing here. I say, he was a fool.
That is how we lived. She could cook it, and I was even crawling my nose. Remembering is disgusting. When the ham was with one piece of pasta, she gave this piece to me. And I took. The last cookie from the pack she always left me for tea. And I ate. I took it all as an honor. I am a foreigner and I have a contract.
And then I grabbed the affairs and told her that we would come together to see one promising woodplate and go back. I took her from where I took her, and myself on the plane and home. At my home office, everyone was waiting for me. So we went. We arrived, things were decided, and I had to go back without a driver. He was drunk with a local acquaintance, while he would have trembled, not less than a day would have passed away, but simple, not good. We went together, I knew the road. I thought I knew. She didn’t want to go, but looked at me, breathed quietly and went into the car. She said she would not leave me. That I am in a foreign country, and she is responsible for me. Do you understand this? She’s almost twenty years younger than me and she’s responsible for me!”
There was silence. Lars was crying. “What happened next?” I asked in five minutes.
“We are lost. I was a self-assured idiot and I went the shortest road to save time. have saved. The car is in the swamp, on all sides only forest, snow and darkness. No idea where we are. and cold. Do you know what winter is in Siberia? You cannot imagine. It is horror. There were no mobile phones at the time, very few people knew about our trip. We would not walk much, we would freeze in the forest. Not the most pleasant thing, I agree. We decided to stay in the car and stay as long as we could. We had no food with us. There was nothing. She grabbed the snow in her palm with a hammer, it melted slowly in the heat, and she gave me a drink. Once again, having wrapped all the corners and pockets, she, glowing, gave me the chocolate candy, which she was once served somewhere, a terrible shortage at that time. I said I won’t take it. We agreed to divide it in half. She broke off a small piece and gave the rest to me. We were so upset by the situation that she fell asleep a few hours later, putting her hand into mine. I started building various rescue plans in my head, but I also fell asleep at the end.
I woke up in the hospital. It didn’t freeze too much, because they found us quite quickly, because they were looking very carefully. You won’t believe it was because of the car. The car was a stranger to us, here the owners of the frog and drowned, found the car, well, and us together. That iron saved my life.
My daughter was left somewhere in a local hospital and I was sent to the city. Since then I have never seen it and cannot find it. I don’t even know if she is alive. How I was looking for her! You don’t know how I was looking for her. I crossed half Siberia and the whole European part of Russia. She was not in the hospital, her bags were taken from our hotel. The firm in which she worked was already closed by that time, no one knew anything about the girl. I did not know where she lived, did not know the date of birth, her surname was the most common in the entire territory of the former USSR. I did not find her. Only the chocolate candy remains in her memory. It was in the pocket of my jacket, which I got back when I got out of the hospital. This is the story.”
Lars was silent. He drank a glass of wine and said, “I couldn’t calm down for a long time. I had the feeling that it would take a little time and it would come. She knew my name, my place of work, and my phone. Most importantly, she said she would not leave me alone. But she didn’t appear, and I don’t know why.
Over time, of course, I calmed down, got a promotion, got married, had a son and daughter, everything was fine. The daughter, by the way, called her by name, the wife does not know about it. We live more than wealth, we have everything, we travel a lot. By general standards, I am a happy person.
Only sometimes there is such a damaging feeling that it seems ready to give all of yourself and all of your well-being, only to see her again. I’m almost sixty, I’ve seen a lot in this life, I’ve thought about a lot. In my field I am a great authority, my word has weight, but in reality I am poorer than the last poor man. And you can’t fix anything, life is about to sunset. So if something happens and I have to take only the most valuable and go to the end of the world, it will be very easy to do. I only have two jewels. A small bronze box, with a small size, the daughter for the first earned money bought and gave on Papa's day, and in it a small dark stone.
The chocolate candy.”

[ + 29 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №108524
 24.01.2015
As a rule, you enter a city and immediately understand what business – asphalt, housing, tile or border – belongs to the local mayor and members of his family. And if you don’t understand it right away, it means that he has all the business right away.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №108523
 24.01.2015
I’m standing like a 17-year-old girl after working at a stop in the crowd, waiting for the bus. I feel someone in my backpack climbing, I turn my head and I see the man's hand already pushed there. Not long thinking I beat my fist in the jaw, but I miss and get in the nose... he sits down on the ground and cries, "S*ka, you broke my nose!" On the ground I see the broken glasses with my pudding :( so I wanted to do, but the police ran away, were not far away, found out what to do, they ask, "Girl, will you write a statement on it?"- I answer, and the sense of a fool to write? I got into the bus by the crowd.
That's how a girl grown up in a cube doesn't let any idiots be a spider :)
The Vampire

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №108522
 24.01.2015
Internal repair network
You will appreciate:
Siroja and Andreusha yesterday for 3 hours pailed and catched the usb connector at Nokia. It was not charged with them. After three hours of torture, they approached me and asked for advice. Well, and I advised them not to look at the usb connector, but the ordinary stove, because this model is not charged from the usb...

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №108521
 24.01.2015
We sit at a meeting. The head of the jur department lost a voice, he said in a whisper. Someone speaking to her also begins to lower her voice. The line comes to the director, and he is also already on the machine apparently speaking quietly. My lawyer and I were surprised. She could not withstand and shouted indignantly:
Oh well well! You can talk okay, we have no conspiracy here!!! to

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №108520
 24.01.2015
XX: In general, I suspect that in any of my long speeches you only read the last line and only answer it, right? cannot do so
YYY: What can’t be done?
YYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY)

[ + 36 - ] Comment quote №108519
 24.01.2015
My grandmother burned:
- Something is the second day as shooting in the butt, like a straight shell. Youth is coming back.
What does this have to do with youth?
How is it? It was in my ass again! ?

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