xxx: Then, though, the special effects were real, not entirely computerized, as they are now.
WOW: Yes, it’s always a pleasure to know that two cascading legs and three pyrotechnic fingers were broken during the filming. Styles what? Well, a cup of coffee was poured on the key...not that at all.

Three hipsters sit by the fire. They decided to argue whose inner world is richer.
I recently watched an arthouse movie. Now I am not the same as before, says one.
“The book is still better,” said the other. I read and understood its secret meaning.
The third hipster said nothing. Only the ipad turned.

xxx: Unfortunately, our developer is not excited, we will look at other candidates.
YYY: Why didn’t you immediately write in the task that should be delighted? Can I rebuild? And really enthusiastic? Not an orgasm, not a joy, not a whimper, but rather an excitement?

Chuck Norris cat caught a laser beam.

XXX: How long will you walk?
YYY: another liter)))

He said, “Hello, I bought a car.
Mmm... what one?
He: Prioro, white, cast, xenon... all things. and ;)
You are just my m.
A prince on white shit.

at work a accountant (girl, 27 years old) deducted in the news: "Ricky Martin is getting married"
A cry to the whole office:
How much more will I sit in the girls!! to

You can just ask for a good couple of times. Call the area once. Then wear a broken jacket, shorts (sovkovy) or family pantyhose, and the day three does not shave. Spray your mouth with a column, it is better to buy cheaper and grab a tail. I’ll open up, I’ll kill Matt on x...I think you’ll understand. The main thing is not to be afraid.

How are you with the Marine?
With a marinade? Well, considering that Marinka was 4 girls ago, then now we are all right) do not argue)

xxx: oooooo, mafrenda ju dont nou вот зе факин хелл ит from
Its Hurried Auro-Flat

YYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!

XXX is spasibo! A to 4uyu 4to-to

An honest politician is measured by the time he believes what he says.

God punishes for greed.

Three friends, Michael, Peter and Vasily, went fishing. Before the start, they concluded a contract: whoever catches the largest - buys vodka.
It was good, and very good, only with Michael and Peter. Basil looked at the stationary float, and he was heated by the thought: "Nothing, but I will drink vodka on a hollow!"
In order not to sit down, he made a small pull, and suddenly he was hanging... Yes, so that the bucket in the bow. The snake proved to be strong, and he pulled to the ass a two-kilogram hole, which the hook stuck behind the backplate.
Michael and Peter who watched him did not break out of jealousy. And what they envy, the candidate for the purchase of vodka decided... Michael only stated: "God sees who will offend!“”
What do you mean? Basil was surprised.
I say that greed is also a wickedness... We’ve seen you.
“catch” on a naked hook, without a knot.

Interestingly, those who do not take bribery also have a portrait in the office.
and Putin?
You are giving! Where did they get their office?

Straga: a colleague came to work, he feels that he got sick a little, respectively, smoking with no one on the street does not go, but at lunch like a poor man began to look, arises from the workplace and asks: who to smoke with me? I started to leave...
Answer: And smoking I mean "the last wish?"

The official note:
Hi dear IT department. I am writing to you twice a day. I suspect that you were wildly taken by the accounting department, but we just catastrophically need your help, because it seems in our office has intensified some, unknown to the human consciousness and invisible to the human eye being, which does not allow you to quietly work with the technology! A great request to visit 208 offices to cleanse our workplace from evil forces, to read the prayer over the technique and to bless us for work!
Thanks for earlier!

The computer does not see the scanner

XHH: Listen, don’t you know any way to remove the cat from his sleeping place?)
No, and why not? % of
I usually go to the toilet and close the lid, so a cat sleeps on it. This time it went differently) I took the cat out of the toilet and after doing my dirty stuff went away... I forgot to close the lid... And the cat jumped without knowing anything)
by %)))

While everybody in Russia traditionally goes on, in Peter they go on.

I never beat any of the people. Almost almost.
Recently, it seems to me more and more that if numerous authors whose “smiling stories” end with the sentences “I’m afraid of him/her,” “Marry me (fuck me)!”, “Other breasts/letters/centimeters,” “I’m not just rotting” (horses?)", "leaked to everyone as much as possible", spells about the spelled, but unknown to me skyrim, dumb variations on the subject "Language", around-band jokes about the prints "from Freud", the relationship of the semantic to his teaching do not have, thematic joke, put in a row to the wall under the gunpowder - I would not shoot. I would take a dude and fuck for a long time and with anger! Because they are tired of monotonous fictional "remixes" on once real jokes.
It wasn’t funny, for some reason.

Whenever a childhood film showed the countdown before the bomb exploded, I started counting after the numbers. And never, NEVER, a second count in my head coincided with a movie count!

A little tribe lost his cell phone, the phone was found, called, and the grandmother and nephew went to take him. On the way, she teaches him, “You will say, ‘Hello, give me my phone.’ The child did not remember everything, rarely used words replaced with others, in the end, when the guy who found the phone, opened the door, heard: "Hello, give me your phone. Thanks to God!"