bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №108559
 25.01.2015
here here :

I am 42 in a great fit. form, wealthy and independent (to cook, wash and smooth better than any of you).
While you were struggling with “real boys” in your youth, who then dropped you (sleeping, sitting down, dying from an overdose, or simply working out of work), I, a slender boy, started my business and became a brutal wolf. There are many familiar, wonderful smart and beautiful women, but not seeking to get married. And to meet your physiological needs, I sometimes raise people like you, like sheep.
_________________________________________________________________________________
I’m sorry for you, uncle.As was the “card-like thin boy”, so it remained.To a psychologist would go, what, instead of self-realizing at the expense of already not happy women.The complex of inferiority crossed with the mania of greatness... sad and disgusting.If, of course, this is not another hunt for the breeding of the already quiet gender mess.
= = = is = is = is = is = is
Clearly a thick troll. Why do you feed him?

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №108558
 25.01.2015
So how do you know? I was a witness to one case, when during a hot dispute around a broken hood of extremely exhausted alcohol men, one cried out: "Go naked! I was, fucking, an engineer!", and then disappeared for fifteen minutes in the entrance. He appeared on the street already with a welding machine. Fifteen minutes later, it was like new. And he also arrived on someone's wheel on the sides of the wheel from a small truck. The ways of drunk engineers are untold.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №108557
 25.01.2015
A group of students were very ashamed of the same group for not reading Master and Margarita, and she was telling them that she was not stupider than them and didn’t feel damaged about it... Ah, you, I think, a horse, I won’t count you, you’re stumbling on holy things! I am a preacher.

_________________________________________________________

Always not as upset as amused such a position)
I haven’t read any one art book exclusively from the school program – you’re gone, there’s nothing to talk to you about and you have no future at all.
At the same time: you don’t know how to count integrals, you don’t know the first aid measures for chemical burns and you confuse Novosibirsk with Novorossiysk – and it’s okay for those who need it.

(A man with a home library of professional literature and fiction, who did not read "War and the World")

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №108556
 25.01.2015
A tongue without bones does not depend on intelligence - only on temperament. Do you not like when an intellectual constantly talks about a recently read book? Ok to Ok. Do you like the untouchable idiot recounting a Mexican series or yesterday’s football match? Likewise, read and intelligent people often remain silent, because among them there are more often introverts. And if they say it, then they are easier to ask for silence - because education, ohh. But from the unread and unintelligent, whose life revolves around gossip and television, you will not get rid of thin cowards. You will not shut them up at all.

Aunt, you’ve just described one of your work exactly.
As she begins to talk about yesterday's movie, she wants to pull her cup of tea on her head.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №108555
 25.01.2015
Katya : tell me how to know the weight of the erectile penis? very need

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №108554
 25.01.2015
xxx: found in the freezer slives, cooked compot, it turned out to be the liver

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №108553
 25.01.2015
and hello. Have you ever cooked an ordinary boiler in a cup?
Well yes of course. and what?
Should I just pour a spoon from above? How much should I squeeze her?
The Weather. Have you ever made tea in your life?! to
No, I put it in bags. And at home, my mom always cooked, and a couple of times in my life I added boiling water to the already cooked tea.
– You are 24 years old, you rent a separate apartment in the capital for your significant salary, on the days you go to interview in the yandex and you can’t make tea?
-No, well, I think in Yandex tea is prepared by specially trained people, ch.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №108552
 25.01.2015
Politicians are like dogs: they would only lie.

[ + 36 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №108551
 25.01.2015
Not the mine.
Problems of Communication 2.
This is the case in our small town.
Next to one of the shops was a man with a wheelchair. You can safely call his grandfather, if not by age, then by status. He was walking his grandson in a wheelchair. Dressed was modest, and what does his pants - not a boy anymore. In the same place was parked a young lady, the complete opposite of the man with a wheelchair. On a steep jeep, dressed in the latest fashion, gold on the fingers, silicone on the lips. In addition, she parked in the back, talking on the phone and opening the driver’s door at the same time. And of course, what had to happen happened. She pushed the wheelchair through that door. The car crashed, the child fell and cried.
Since ancient times, it has been said that the best defense is attack. The lady understood this truth very well. The naive designers of the MiG-25 aircraft, even in a dreamy dream could not assume that there are sounds louder than the sound of a jet engine. The phrases of the type: “...there was a divorce here, there is no place to put the car...” were intertwined by such selective mothers, who would be jealous of the carpenter Ivanov, who knows 3000 details with the name x@йня. The lady broke more and more. Without embarrassing anyone, she watered the man with dirt. And the door was scratched to her, and now he is going to sell the apartment because he already has to. And right now, she’s calling her boyfriend, who’s so cool that he has scratches on the front glass of the car from the inside. And this guy will come and everyone will be bad: a mouth to the ground and ask for mercy will be all, including a man and a child.
The lady was probably an extrasensitive, because the events went according to her script. But the extravagance she was, still not very good, as everything happened with the exact opposite. Yes, her boyfriend came, but his fingers bended... Only one did not take into account they both. The father of the child was a mayor of the militia, and his grandfather was a simple general of the militia, who came to visit his son from the regional center.
The lady was probably, frankly, a crazy extravagant. She could not even imagine that her happy life was just beginning. The fact is that the next day in the store, near which these events occurred, two serious men in the state, but with red passports and seized the recordings from the video cameras.
The moral:
1st Follow the rules of movement.
2nd Do not offend people, especially strangers.

[ + 38 - ] Comment quote №108550
 25.01.2015
The head of the RZD has threatened to resign if he is forced to disclose income. The country is shrouded by horror...

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №108549
 25.01.2015
Anti-collector: The application works on Android-powered smartphones and blocks both calls and text messages from annoying collectors... and also expand the functionality: for example, add redirecting calls from some collectors to others.
Difficult life for extortionists

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №108548
 25.01.2015
When they gathered with me in the country and Serega asked where there were fire extinguishers, well, while we were sober, I did not get alcohol at all.

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №108547
 25.01.2015
Today Delivery: Bring the chicken grill, call the customer. I called. Client (K): - Young man to us chicken grill hot and beautiful. I buy a chicken and sit in the car and the girl fits - on Lenin 36 (delivery on Lenin 34) already calls the client (the girl in the salon): - Young man You found us a chicken? I found you a chicken! Q: Is it hot? The beautiful? I: Beautiful and hot chicken you now I take it to you - wait! Are you talking about me by chance?

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №108546
 25.01.2015
Palich: And it took so many years to sit and do all kinds of hernia to sit and do all kinds of hernia now.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №108545
 25.01.2015
Pf, we have come across the fact that among the believers the Bible is sometimes discovered only by the Jehovahists, and they also prefer their journal adaptations. But the professor – a 100% atheist – recommends students to read the Bible as an important cultural and historical material.

[ + 36 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №108544
 25.01.2015
No guys! Readiness, knowledge of classics and two higher education are not the same as education! A lot of people are very educated, but poorly educated. A friend’s husband doesn’t release a book from his hands, but he throws the cigarettes where it got...At the secretary’s job in shock of the boss’s manner of scratching the blush or pulling the socks publicly, full of the people don’t know how to use dining appliances...It’s not the margins, not the bombs, but precisely those “intelligent people” who read Chekhov, Tolstoy, and I’m not even afraid to say, Dostoevsky...Remembering the high, the last Nobel laureate in literature, these counted people occupy the pavements, park incorrectly, walk dogs without leashes and get mad...And say that he’s not cultural – how? He goes to the theatre five times a year. He reads 200 books a year. Nifiga education is not equal to circularity and counting.

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №108543
 25.01.2015
Tagged: throwing
N: When I’m asked what excessive signs of intersection can do, I recall the unparalleled: ‘Break, stand. I am looking forward to a professional". One extra pencil - and what a new meaning.
I remember the wonderful phrase: "How smart I am!"...

[ + 39 - ] Comment quote №108542
 25.01.2015
I see "Lucy" Besson: "Man uses the brain for 10%, bla bla bla, and the dolphin for 20%", I immediately remembered the old joke: "Not one dolphin has taken a mortgage..."

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №108541
 25.01.2015
online consultant there periodically pops up on its own with a sound like messages on the momba... here and prove later that I am not sitting on dating sites (
= = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = =
Well, judging by the fact that you know with what sound messages come on the mammoth - to prove it is not only useless, but also useless.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №108540
 25.01.2015
Is that right away? I am... not ready?
Antonina: Hussars are always ready!
If I am of the cavalry, whose century is not good?

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