bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 61 - ] Comment quote №47952
 25.05.2011
A Boy with a Girl (Listening)

I’m tired, I want a pen.
Judging by the phrase on the neck you want to...

[ + 64 - ] Comment quote №47951
 25.05.2011
X: I put the device in gta4...you won’t believe it...
YYY: He is not going?
xxx is 😉

[ + 89 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №47950
 25.05.2011
The supermarket network is closed! “Closed” has already opened. When everyone is closed, “closed” is open. Open the “Closed”!

[ + 55 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №47949
 25.05.2011
There is no word "Impossible" There are words "There is no time" and "Incident"...

[ + 79 - ] Comment quote №47948
 25.05.2011
My mother is a woman!
NN: Do you recover the lost manuscripts of Cap?

[ + 99 - ] Comment quote №47947
 25.05.2011
Comments on the video: "Eat you, "breast, like the ears of a sapphire". First give them a larger size, and then "ears". Only silicone and rekvisits in German porn are torched, because everything is caught there. In the real sense. The corset. First, stretch your dry beer belly and "on the half-sixth" fix, and then make claims. Apollo for me too.

[ + 59 - ] Comment quote №47946
 25.05.2011
The release of the new model "Mercedes" completely crashed the budget of the Russian Federation.

[ + 84 - ] Comment quote №47945
 25.05.2011
I have two news for you, good and bad.
Give me a good one.
Yuri has lost his virginity.
and bad?
I helped him with that!

[ + 73 - ] [3 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №47944
 25.05.2011
Whoever has a cat at home NEVER, NEVER go with a naked cock ahead!!! It hurts ><

[ + 62 - ] Comment quote №47943
 25.05.2011
A conversation with a friend who accidentally knocked his fingers at the door:

X: Tell me what happened to you?

yyy: Well, there was a doorstep in the store, and I didn’t want to knock on the cultural door)

xxx: Did you hold the door with a spark or put a spell on it?

yyy: I don't know how before, but after that I put all the spells of the world on this door!))

[ + 94 - ] Comment quote №47942
 25.05.2011
xxx: I love this Spanish textbook for its examples.
Exercise: Translate to Spanish
XXX is 3. Why are you so sad? I have no place to live.
XXX is 19. I prefer rooms with low ceilings, where I look high.
XXX is 25. Why is my pillow in the refrigerator? Oh my God! What is under the blanket?

[ + 41 - ] Comment quote №47941
 25.05.2011
No matter how much you take, something else will be from above.

[ + 51 - ] Comment quote №47940
 25.05.2011
“Millions” for Millionaires
We sit at a lengthy general meeting with our boss and “dismantle” a new big project.
The boss ringed the phone, he apologized, saying that it was a business partner, probably something urgent.
(Followed by the Head of Telephone)

What did not come?
...
I didn’t even get it right away, but last week.
half of turn. You have to go with the pedal, you have to go.
...
- No, gasoline must be, I poured 20 liters into it myself, three months
Back and no more.
...
- Well, changing the brake pads is a barst, maybe give it more.
Should I change her summer tyres? Without the gardens we will survive, we will ride.
Yes, but it would be worth washing it... Okay, as you call the phone. All of them,
I embrace.

The boss put off the phone and saw that the faces of all of us were stretched and strained.
He understood that in two words he had to explain such a strange telephone conversation and smiled and said:

- It was called by my neighbor Slavik, we bought an old package with him
“Gigg” and he could not get something today. Every day I opened,
And today we couldn’t... So what did we stop at...?

He’d better not explain anything at all. What old jigsaw? What a fold? Our boss has three cars and none of them is cheaper.
$100,000 and older than two years. We have also heard about Slavik, he eats a new "Jigul" at lunch in the restaurant, why do they have the old one, and even in the fold...? And most importantly - why brake pads are a barrel!!? to
We bowed our eyes side by side, waiting for a person to jump out and say, “Smile, you are being filmed by a hidden camera!!! »
The boss noticed the general confusion, climbed and suddenly cheered amusedly, like a child. He laughed and said:
- Something really with this "Gigul" I look like a crazy survivor.
Plushed...
Don’t worry, I’m still very conscious. This is not a car, it is a garage.
I usually live in a suburb, but sometimes I spend the night in a city apartment and there we have in the courtyard such a pillar of cars that it is unrealistic to park at all, but in the corner of the house between the benches there is a small pocket for two cars on the side, only everyone was afraid to turn there, or somebody will be closed, and I offered Slavik to buy "Jigul", not to ride, but to stand. In short, the gate with the motor. He always has a place in his pocket. When one of us comes home, he drives our old lady away, puts his car in his pocket and closes it back with a jiggle. So we and Slavik are fierce patriots of our automotive products, during the day he will guard the place, and at night he will protect from hijackers.

I have once again been convinced: what for the ordinary man is an insoluble problem, then for the wise man is only a charge for the mind.

[ + 54 - ] Comment quote №47939
 25.05.2011
by Pskov. by Putin:
“The People’s Front is like a vacuum cleaner – it accumulates the best.”
- the premiere, of course, more visible, but as a housewife I will notice that the vacuum cleaner is not
It accumulates the best, but only pulls up rubbish.

[ + 77 - ] Comment quote №47938
 25.05.2011
Oh okay you, such a cute girl - bands, rushes, two hair, a smile, like a snow white :)
WOW: Oh, it's just impossible to argue with her - for any fact contrary to her worldview, she has a 800-page guide to the engineer in her pocket and an undeniable argument: "What about the mouth?"and "

[ + 137 - ] Comment quote №47937
 25.05.2011
rsdriver: After work I eat (I’m a bus driver) on a passenger car, thought, I see people at the stop, automatically turn and stop. Fuck it, I went away. In the evening, under a bottle of beer, I talk about this familiar trolleybus. He said to me: "Eye, that’s what... Yesterday I decided to go to the house. I did not sit for two months. So you can’t imagine what a panic I started when the trolleybus wires ended"

[ + 58 - ] Comment quote №47936
 25.05.2011
Young man, you took the place of conductor!
Do not give God!! to

[ + 74 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №47935
 25.05.2011
Perch: I met with an Indian in Pennsylvania, his father was a Russian Cossacks — they also took out wire books during the Revolution — poured wax and hid them in icons. Nor did Figo shake his heart.

dmd25: I met with an Indian in Pennsylvania, his father is a Russian Cossacks. Figo did not shake his brain.

[ + 76 - ] Comment quote №47934
 25.05.2011
At a scientific conference, the predecessor to the ambiguity of systems brings an example that the telecast is constantly transmitted that planes fall, hundreds of people die, and asks the question - why is the plane then considered the safest transportation?
There is so much silence in the acting room, and the girl is alone with such a naive voice – because they don’t beat people down?
5 minutes could not calm up)))

[ + 72 - ] Comment quote №47933
 25.05.2011
The tape:
In the Voronezh drug outlet from overdose died a police officer

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