I recently moved to Switzerland, living in an apartment with two Germans. I prepared something for me to eat. There was laziness, and I dumbly baked the potatoes in the microwave. Very surprised looking at my track, then there was about this dialogue:
What is it?
The card.
Did you heat it in the microwave?
No, I have prepared it.
How is it?
Put it in the microwave for 4-5 minutes and it is ready.
Are you cooking before that?
and no.
Do you not cook anymore?
and no.
- OO
He did not tell the poor German that in the microwave you can also cook pasta, and omelette to cook...

When the old Indian was told the reasons for the transition from winter time to summer time, he said:
Only the government can truly believe that by cutting a foot from the top of a blanket and sewing it from the bottom, you can extend the blanket.

here here :

We move to winter time, they said. Sleep an extra hour, they said. How to transfer small children to the winter, who don’t care where the arrows show?

Oh how... And how did poor people live in the past when time was transferred twice a year?

Per, I will add this "high-primitive alpha-samec" to my dictionary of euphemisms of Russian mate.
Although, the "high-primitive beta samurai" I like it more. In this phrase is concentrated more from the “dumb fool” than even from the “dumb fool” itself.

I was at a meeting and got a call. I see the phone number of my parents. I wanted to drop the call. Pressed on something.
Instead of dropping the phone to loud communication and the calling app disappeared somewhere.
My children were on the line. They broke each other’s phone and shouted, “A-a-a-a! I have been struck! "" "A-a-a-a! And she calls me!" "A-a-a-a! It doesn’t let me paint!" "A-a-a-a-! Take a break! "" "A-a-a! In the background, my parents tried loudly in Russian to separate the children from each other and from the tube.
While my entire staff listened to this radio show, I pressed all the buttons furiously and desperately. I could not disconnect the line.
At the end, I managed to prove to the bosses that I can cope with unexpected situations in unusual ways: I put the phone on a chair, sat on it from the top, was mentally delighted that a big ass was finally needed, and then said in the calmest voice: "So we stopped at the fact that...."
The meeting broke

by Marinalevy

<lol>: I, the insignificant servant of the great lord Vyacheslav, promise that I will never take part in a bet on desire again!

Yyy: with the tower it is boring to go to serve
xxx: I would have served MB if I had a portion picked up from the gentlemen and gentlemen, and to do a smart job.
XXX: the type there
XXX: Ebola virus to be neutralized
XXX: or Trojan porn in the network of the White House dress up

I explain:
by ******
"No
Tagged with: kozy.by" I have the same.
My brain is shaken, here.
Goats after 20
Just arrived...
and
has not arrived. About what?
by ******
tk. Aftar and his wife are cleverly literate, to kill the hunting of such, they distorted the elementary "netvarikozu.by", no, fucking, varicose veins. A goat in the mind.

How to transfer small children to the winter, who don’t care where the arrows show?
– – – – –
Inexorable category of people who will always be bad. Especially in Russia. Of course, we live in such a country and bla-bla-bla...We have scattered the nits on the whole innet. So that you don’t sleep at all! And the rest will get up as usual, and will not rush anywhere for an hour. Animals, this also applies.

to this:
= = = is = is = is = is = is
Is that how they do that???? to
(The prices are not accurate, but the norm is approximately that)
Why is the price of gasoline so different? Why is it so much more expensive than when oil was also $90? The wages of the miners were raised 10 times. Has the service traveled? I do not understand...
= = = is = is = is = is = is

Usually answers to such questions come either with age or after a question to the father.
And the answer is simple – it is a monopoly and it does not belong to those people who want to share with you.
But it becomes very interesting when you grow up and learn that they have established their monopoly on what does not belong to them, but to you.

On the dating site with one person in the profile:
"The whole of the sum"
I wonder, and does Sam know that she has achieved it all?

The Bayonnaise:

In the basement of an abandoned Moscow house in 1988, Alice, tell us who we will be when we grow up! You, Julia, are going to be a wizard – what is it??? - You, Fima, a dealer of injector diagnostic systems - WHY? You, Cole, are a system administrator – WHAT??? And you, sweetheart, columnist and blogger – guys, let’s beat her! As a man asks, and she flatters!

-

The original was approximately like this:

You, Fima, will be a Mercediser – Who?
You will be the top manager. What is it?
You, Vasya, will be the driver of a sausage factory. And yes!! Let’s go, the losers!! to
And it was some of the ancient KVNs when it was still a cake.

When the title of the book fits the author’s name:
"Some questions of gas dynamics of explosion. Abby E.I. In 1997"

from ZH:
The cat reminded me of the groundweights.
In thought: was he trying to figure out how much shit he was in?

I bought a laundry. It automatically and unexpectedly turns off. They cleaned, bought a pilot, put on a voltage stabilizer, she was off. It happened to turn off when you turn off the lights in the kitchen. It turns out, the electrician connected the socket after the lightning switch.

Sleep loss is when you accidentally put the timer for seven minutes instead of the alarm at seven in the morning, you have time to lie down and cut off during this time.
XHH: And then you jump on the signal and for a while you honestly do not notice the subwooch.

From the game chat:
Sergei254: Is there a Skype?
Kingfisher: No
Sergei254:It happens
Kingfisher: No, it actually exists. Just today the cat wrote to the microphone.
Kingfisher: So there is no special desire to say (

Today we discovered Murphy’s new law.

If you put milk to heat in a cup in the microwave, the cup will stop necessarily with a pen to the back wall of the microwave.

ake1la: I woke up this morning to go to the store for cat fillers and food. The cold is 20. I put everything in the cart and go to the box. While they were beaten behind me, a line of blueberries was accumulated by a man 5, all with a beer and a jaguarchik. I look at the clock and see 7o instead of 8o. I quietly give the money and stand next to the guard. How many new words do you think I learned in 5 minutes?
P.S Uncle Vova is a troll.

The light day has become very short.
yyy: But here I will reassure you - after December 22 the day will grow - I agreed :)))