bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №121097
 26.11.2015
Today I go into the entrance, and two glowing eyes look at me from the darkness.
I thought about death, vampires and the Terminator.
Then on the machine stumbled his leg and light burned from the sound sensor.
Good night! My grandmother in her glasses said, pulling off the phone. Apparently the sms came and she, right in front of the door, stopped and read.

[ + 18 - ] Comment quote №121096
 26.11.2015
In the Primorye reserve, a tiger made friends with a goat sent to eat.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №121095
 26.11.2015
This is:
I refer to the collective unconscious. Please pray for Omsk. On the eve of December and the new year we were left without buses, passenger enterprises because of debts have nothing to buy fuel. It is still warm outdoors, but winter is gaining momentum. Please help!

Dear friend, or maybe you yourself, with other suffering people, go to the mayor of the glorious city of Omsk and ask what shit? Waiting for rain from the sunshine after prayer may be more pleasant.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №121094
 26.11.2015
How the developers of mushrooms marinated

XXX: This is bad with marinades. This is how you smell on an industrial scale, and then try it - it is unpleasant.
YYY: and you do a couple of cleaning parties, and then in the sale.
zzz: so can all the collected mushrooms be featured
Yes, it can be frozen.
zzz: many foods after freezing are no longer the... cucumbers, for example
yyy: mushrooms can be frozen after cooking. This is norm
zzz: cooling mushrooms do not necessarily have to be good
xxx: here is a very short period for settlement and testing
zzz: cooling mushrooms can also be purchased from third-party sources
Zzz: and then roll out yours when you get the recipe.
yyy: marinated mushrooms are not rolled out in the sale, but chopped

[ + 20 - ] Comment quote №121093
 26.11.2015
This
Do they not too much decide what is safe for me and what is not?

It is not a question, go where you want, only then that you and your relatives, if they are, do not whisper - save our poor girl, organize a rescue operation! What if, because of such dumb robs as you, even a savior dies?

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №121092
 26.11.2015
xxx: cockroaches in folie4 disgusting, also glowing
yyy: what, I like, you plunge into the bunker, and he jumps in front of you, rejoicing at your arrival. by Busin.
xxx: ah, watering some shit, radiating with radiation
yyy: I’d rather think he just RAD me

[ + 22 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №121091
 26.11.2015
In the kindergarten, you are only required to smile and do not rub in the closet.

[ + 24 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №121090
 26.11.2015
And then it happened that for 2 hours on the knee in the ice water under the rain heracled from the event on the electric drive. (Thank you to the organizers of Max!) And since I get sick even if I went to bed with my head wet, I thought the result was obvious. But! Thank you to my mom for the cognac on the way and then for the infusion at home. I was healthier than ever. I believe in alcohol. But in tea and wool - not.

The conclusion of a British scientist. Alcohol does not heat. The commentator answers, I once in the rain (not a minus temperature!) I went and drank cognac and did not get sick the next day. Cognac is hot, but no wool.
Not the particularity of the case (was it necessary to heat it?No antibacterial properties of alcohol, in the opinion of the girl does not affect.

My husband and I kissed, and then the baby was born. And when we slept standing, there was nothing.So now I believe that children are born from kisses, but not standing.

[ + 37 - ] Comment quote №121089
 26.11.2015
Another bubble burned today. The morning. A complete predecessor of the people. I have a handful of cards in my hands and a list of good deeds.When dealing with the list, I say to the crowd: Fast! Go ahead!"
Several pairs of eyes look at me, and judging by the absence of reaction, there is no one among them. Suddenly a whirlwind. And from the side of the bathroom to me moves with grandmother’s walks. Slowly and loud. He cried out to me:"I am fast! I’m running to you, I’m running to you...Your tortoise – Ninja!"
He begins to hiccuts. The grandmother, confused, approaches and quietly asks:"Why are everyone laughing? Is it something disgraceful? That’s what my grandson calls me."

[ + 19 - ] Comment quote №121088
 26.11.2015
I wanted to love one post, but I saw the remarkable number 1024 next to my heart and changed my mind: why spoil such a picture.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №121087
 26.11.2015
Tourist brand of the Novosibirsk region: "Novosibirsk - Siberia here"
◘ That is the case. Siberia is the point. Break up Omsky, Tomsky, Novokuznetsky and Krasnoyarsky
What about Kemerovo?
Who do you forgive? I know Kemerovo, and where is Kemerovsk?
Grigory: And there is Barnaulsk, Tyumensk and Yekaterinburgsk.

[ + 27 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №121086
 26.11.2015
How do you? From an article in one popular magazine... “It remains to be guessed whether Elena’s television career depends on the Domkrat’s sword or whether she, like all women, fights with age syndrome with such radical methods.”

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №121085
 26.11.2015
of jealousy

We have a aunt at work, who at one time drove her current husband out of the family, and she herself was not free at that time. They destroyed two families.
Only work home.
Not even in corporations.
Be quiet at work.
They dress more than modestly.
No girlfriends
Everywhere with my husband, even in the clinic.
husband is jealous " once you left your first husband, you can leave me"

Think about babies.

[ + 20 - ] Comment quote №121084
 26.11.2015
xxx: I had a guy like that... I never took the word "no" as a response.

YYY: And what happened?

XXX: I went out for him.

[ + 20 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №121083
 26.11.2015
I don't know, I liked "Chappi" After all, in essence, they wanted to create a beautiful story about the exceptionality of consciousness, and the prequel came out literally to all the films about the machine uprising, starting with Terminator.
A smart robot hides underground from the authorities and secretly stamps like themselves.

[ + 20 - ] Comment quote №121082
 26.11.2015
The question is not this, but how many films will weigh in high resolution this year? Probably in this second you download 10-15% of one movie and that is not a fact)))

More than ~4000 points horizontally the human eye with perfect vision will not pull, so the upper limit is already known. Of course, marketing can overcome the boundaries of common sense, but the creators of the distribution will overtake and there will be no more than ~4000.

With respect, KO

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №121081
 26.11.2015
Sometimes I envy artists.
Typical morning flying in the gaming studio:
Developer: Yesterday I reassembled all the bases and restarted all the servers. Today you need to write another million code to fix the minor bug.
Game Designer: Yesterday I wrote three tons of analytics for investors. Today, I’ll recalculate the entire game economy and I’ll be forging in config, supporting the new code.
I painted New Year’s Cards yesterday. Today I painted a smiley and a tree.

[ + 23 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №121080
 26.11.2015
Previously, a person who pushes the right was called a provocator who goes to conflict, and a person who closes his eyes on many things - smart, because he is silent.
And today, the first is called a fighter for justice, and the second is a tolerant.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №121079
 26.11.2015
The harsh fabrics. On the instruction before the excursion - "Do not touch the units, employees or other sources of danger may work behind them"

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №121078
 26.11.2015
Customers are just rabbits.

Hi to. On the Internet, I saw how the flesh and bones are sprinkled with your model’s knife. The Fat Max. Please advise, it is very needed in the meat shop.

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