bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №103317
 26.09.2014
Morning coffee with a friend.
Why does Tolka complain about you, do not say hello, do not give hands...
- These are the guys from "copying"
and well.
“You know, Sascha, when he comes out of the toilet, he has a wet T-shirt – so hard he washes his hands. And Tolian has a wet shirt when he comes out of the cabin.
Okay we passed.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №103316
 26.09.2014
Only maniacs and criminals carry knives around the city. Normal people don’t need knives. The patch can be cut off with scissors, snacks can be bought cut, and there are knives and forks in the cafe! Are you afraid of being checked out?
Give me the knife.
I haven’t cleaned the wire yet.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №103315
 26.09.2014
This is:
"I am on a trip to Germany. The text message comes: "Welcome to Russia! Thank you for traveling with MTS". First thought: "We need to read the news..."
_________________________________________________________________________________________
This guy, you won't believe, the same sms came to me in the spring of last year in a taxi on the road from Kiev to the airport of Borispol.

[ + 27 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №103314
 26.09.2014
Twenty years ago, all of Ukraine wandered that it feeds Russia, saying: “Our bread, our sugar, we separate and in two years we will live like Germany, and Russia without us will die of hunger.” Without any compassion for us. We, according to their vision, should die of hunger, which they would only be happy with. Ten years later (in the early 2000s) it became fashionable to say that Russia abandoned its brothers, left them Chernobyl and washed their hands. At the same time, they began to remember the famine and other illusions to convince themselves and everyone else that Russia owes them. 2013 - Return to the 90s, "We are in Europe, and Russia is in the ass". And here, again, Russia must again, because Crimea, Donbass and, in general, Russia wants to freeze Ukrainians. With all my tolerance for the Ukrainians and the fact that I spent all my childhood (all the holidays) in Dnipropetrovsk, today I really want to say: “Lord Ukrainians, go to *** or wherever you want there, we owe you nothing.”

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №103313
 26.09.2014
We played Tarot cards and it all ended up with the losers having to remove the skin.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №103312
 26.09.2014
I love Sberbank. They issued for me (although nobody asked them about it) a credit card for 45 t.p. - a gift to a regular customer. For three months, I got this card. Yesterday, when I refused to get it again, the girl confidently told me that if I didn’t get this card, it would have a bad effect on my credit history and the bank would not give me a loan when I needed it. 0 0 0

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №103311
 26.09.2014
Hubble, discussion of the launch of the Indian satellite into the orbit of Mars:
Ksenobayt: It’s epically cool. For India, it seems to me that such a project is like throwing a wire through the whole room, closing the eyes with one hand, and getting in the tenth – especially in the absence of experience of such developments.
Ndividuum: In Indian films and not such tricks can be seen :)

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №103310
 26.09.2014
AAAA to AAAA!! The plague!! I read the rental agreement of the apartment, and I don’t believe my eyes....: "The tenant also undertakes to make holes in the room with brick walls." I undertakes to do holes!!!!)))) But only in the brick room))))) The secret of the eternal drillers is uncovered!!!!)))))

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №103309
 26.09.2014
I look for a job, I look for a website with ads. I see you need some "clining lady". Then it came to me that it was a cleaner. They will invent...
I see this conversation:
Who are you working for?
The Cleaning Lady.
It sounds cool.
And in fact! I am mainly engaged in the reactivation of the physical profile of the company and the cleaning of the source data of the company building. Sometimes I get rid of employees’ miscalculations.

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №103308
 26.09.2014
I called my uncle yesterday to ask how things...dialogue:

I am. How about yourself on vacation?
D is Goodbye, you are at work.
I am. My mother told me that my grandmother had pneumonia.
D is - ah..I had her already, it relieved her, the dropper was removed, the burn began to treat
I am. What kind of burn?
My grandmother decided to make mushrooms.
I am. - and what - mustard mushrooms burned? they are thermonuclear?))
D is At this time, a neighbor came in and said that for faithfulness, when he is sick, he puts an oak on top, so that he can be sure to warm up!
I am. Fuck to fuck! O_O...
D: Well, I said the same...
I am. Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah
D, and don’t say it! ?

p.s baby 80 years, the war survived, the hunger...and you say - the finger injected, burned on the sooth....the grandmother treats the inflammation of the lungs with sooth...instead of garlic)))

[ + 41 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №103307
 26.09.2014
Do not burn. In Soviet times, the tax on childlessness was better now, on the contrary, to encourage children’s rubles (not those 150 rubles a month that are now paid, but real benefits. That a mother of two or three children receives a salary comparable to their salary.
— — —
Dear man, but I do not agree with my taxes to pay for the lives of those who know how to fuck and who do not want to work. And according to your scheme, it turns out that this is exactly what I am going to do, trying to grow up and help my single child learn normally.
Moreover, I think that many imbeciles now have too much on social. Because I know exactly how much they have.
No, not those people who work on two jobs with three children, but those who instead run and collect the bonuses laid down by law.
Those who raise two or more children are honored and praised. But just before they start to climb into my pocket. I do free teaching because I can give something to those who really need it. So, having observations of people, I can say: they climb into someone else’s pocket and shout “we don’t know how to use condoms, so we all owe it!” – not those who are difficult in life, but those who don’t want to study or work.

[ + 13 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №103306
 26.09.2014
Conversation at the Planner:

Grammar and spelling should be governed by the game designer.
- You know, we game designer writes "warriors" with J.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №103305
 26.09.2014
There were a few quotes about the rabbits. I add.
We came with the company to the country, so to say, to close the shale season. Only here is the misfortune, the basement is poured and the water needs to be exhausted, although not large, but it will soon be needed. I decided to do it immediately. After shakes and alcohol, obviously no one will do this. In general... Take the cage in the hands of the cage and dance dancing dancing. Nothing to do, a strong part of the cages armed forward, and sooner, to get to the dark. My boyfriend is strong, holds; the boyfriend of the girlfriend (culture worker, stripper, health worker) is already beginning to openly stumble: but the third (directly from the board drained the water from the sitting position and served the rest) small with a belly, as in nothing before continued and continued like a machine. Two are no longer, and he went to cut wood on coal, and he says, it's still that... even two hundred doors were not and the lungs. As it turned out, he has 100-200 shots for training from 20 kg of onions.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №103304
 26.09.2014
>> Jehovah’s Witnesses came and said that God was knocking on our house. He said he should have spare keys. And if they are not, then he can order them at the intersection of the streets of Dostoevsky and Zoya Kozmodemyanskaya, house 6, first floor, entrance from the courtyard.

"Doctor of the House"

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №103303
 26.09.2014
About the education. We eat breakfast and share memories.
I: I remember when I was 5 years old, my neighbor boy and I were playing cards. I had a large map of the USSR, we placed it on the floor and played the journey on the train: I called him the end and starting point, and he found all the cities and villages on the way.
When I was a child, a friend smiled into a glass and broke it against a wall.
The Curtain

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №103302
 26.09.2014
XXX: Fall, fall, fall, fall the hoampas!
YYY: Well, but there is no escape!

[ + 18 - ] Comment quote №103301
 26.09.2014
And I’m sorry Lin, she’s still painting a comic like you.

[ + 15 - ] Comment quote №103300
 26.09.2014
Article on the hub: "Visual window configurator written in one hour"
upd1: Added screenshots
upd2: Launched the demo version
upd3: We are talking about windows off-line, glazed, wooden or plastic - through which the street from the house is viewed

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №103299
 26.09.2014
xxx: I, by the way, while I am sick, I wear a mask :D Priests in the universe think that I care about others, I try not to infect anyone... but in fact the mask gives +5 to complaint :3

[ + 38 - ] Comment quote №103298
 26.09.2014
by Joplin:
I am angry with people with receipts paying on the mail for the Internet. Blowing up, do they need a fool?

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