bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 61 - ] Comment quote №43768
 27.02.2011
The blonde and her boyfriend.
I want to paint my hair black.
Q: Are you going to study?
B: The dog))))))

[ + 48 - ] Comment quote №43767
 27.02.2011
And I also had a ring burst, next to the test.

I need to eat less.)

[ + 90 - ] Comment quote №43766
 27.02.2011
You're just so wild and you don't know anything
Yyy: You know, I want to answer you with a call, but I don’t see in you an interlocutor. Be kind, think now in your address of any insult to your usual level. thank you. It is for you from me.

[ + 90 - ] Comment quote №43765
 27.02.2011
I sit in the kitchen, in front of me notebooks, I do it there, I drink tea, I ride dryers, I periodically peel my nails with a nail bar, and I also sit in the nursing ears. My brother is sitting next to me, eating a package and reading on the phone.
I got up, removed my ears, went to my room with a cable for a notepad, took it, came back, went in and saw the picture.
Yurat sits on a chair, perds him, prints there, drinks tea from my cup, squeezes his nails on his right hand (guitarist), and his ears are also squeezed.
Well, I wasn’t confused, grabbed the wire to the notepad, took a spoonful and sat down to eat the bombpack, cleaning the boron.

[ + 65 - ] Comment quote №43764
 27.02.2011
From the ambulance:
Don’t help me when I eat myself.

[ + 68 - ] Comment quote №43763
 27.02.2011
A smart plan. Putin is the symbol of Sochi 2014. All rights are transferred to the International Olympic Committee. There is no Putin in Russia.

[ + 98 - ] Comment quote №43762
 27.02.2011
XXX: Well, the vacation option in Egypt goes off immediately...
YYY: Why is this?
XXX: Do you know nothing?! to
No, there are sharks again.
The revolution was there recently! Power has changed
The Pharaohs are back.

[ + 84 - ] Comment quote №43761
 27.02.2011
XHH: She liked you.
I like them all.
XHH: accurate
ууу: I like a cat, like many to play want almost everything, but no one wants to take >_<

[ + 74 - ] Comment quote №43760
 27.02.2011
I have been teaching my cat to go to the bathroom for 16 years. He has already learned himself, taught the whole family, and he is stupid, cattle.

[ + 126 - ] Comment quote №43759
 27.02.2011
In German there is a mysterious particle of denial "niht". She speaks for some reason at the end of the sentence and denies everything said... There is somehow a conversation between two partners (Russian-German) through an interpreter. The German speaks a long sentence, the translator immediately in real time translates: "We agree to your terms, we will cooperate constantly, discounts, benefits, blabla...". And here the German ends the sentence with the aforementioned particle "niht". The translator is not confused: "...You think...but..."

[ + 63 - ] Comment quote №43758
 27.02.2011
They remembered:
The woman wants to be very...
YYYY: Ah, and me :-/
I know the way out! Be like a cat named Gave!
YYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY
XXX Let’s Go Together!
Then they ate one from different sides.

[ + 79 - ] [4 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №43757
 27.02.2011
You all shame the Americans for their "dumbness". And you yourself become a stupid beast, drinking, smoking, immoral, satisfied with what is happening in the country.
That nobody will read.

c) L

[ + 37 - ] Comment quote №43756
 27.02.2011
Vtiratel' : on litre matices more auxiliary acb than at 0.8
l1 Jl b 5l: on liters - AA, and on 0.8 - AAA?

[ + 93 - ] Comment quote №43755
 27.02.2011
Planetarian: I wrote to everyone to get out of the Accounting, I will update the program
Planetarian: two do not come out, I call them - silence fucking
The Fucking Girl: What?
Planetarian: and I need to update the program so that everyone gets out of the program
The Girl: Give Them Puzzles
Planetarian: they fucking in the corridor stands sick - out of the accountancy came fucking
Planetary: From the Office
Planetary: This is shit.
The Girl Fuck: Burn them All

[ + 72 - ] Comment quote №43754
 27.02.2011
The xxx:
Why is a companion lacking if he is constantly eating bread?
in the sense. What Vitamins? →

YYYY :
The food...?

[ + 57 - ] [3 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №43753
 27.02.2011
Please miss... I don't sleep at night... maybe someone here knows HOW the medicine gets into the ampoule?She is Lita...

[ + 89 - ] Comment quote №43752
 27.02.2011
Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah some broadcast on the channel вести24, show Wasserman, he gives an interview... signature below: Anatoly Onotole"Wasserman. )))

[ + 62 - ] Comment quote №43751
 27.02.2011
What a deadly day.
The sinner: No
The Sins: The Night
Angel: Ah...
The sinner: go under the table flash click on the computer (the front connectors do not fold)
sunrise, at first led the neck, then the wire fell on the top of the neck, partially without isolation, I was stunned by electricity, lying dergalso
get out of the table and the computer flash does not determine to bleat
Angel: Ah...

[ + 20 - ] Comment quote №43750
 27.02.2011
Nothing leads to rapid degradation like an excessive pursuit of perfection.

[ + 43 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №43749
 27.02.2011
I try not to sit in the dark after midnight. But in life there is a flood of outstanding provisions. There was a girl who was deprived of a cell phone and I don’t know what else was there. I’ve never been a hero, I’m a sack again. But in such a situation, the man must still be a big shit to pass by, even if he convulsively taps the phone of our untouchable police away from the scene of the incident.

I decided to get into the pitch with a surprise. A surprise awaited me – they were three and not at all busty. Even my firm on eggs did not work - I managed to go missing, painfully lying down the wall.
Per it was fortunate, otherwise we would have hit the naphid at all. The rest of the fight I just jumped there in total darkness almost on one leg, like an additional rebellious babouin among the gamadrils, giving the girl a blow, it seems like it is still without a cell phone. Then I was specifically struck.
I got into the hospital wondering how many hundreds of recurring pain can be delivered day after day every passing fog.

At that moment my sister visited me. She was seriously fascinated by various teachings, how to treat life correctly, and quickly became a live advertisement of the compot that was being made in her head – she built up her waistline, became even worse and began to shine quietly from within with some very unobtrusive goodwill.

She never even tried to explain her teachings to me—it was like a five-year-old student who was trying to rub the theory of a bubble-turned universe. I replaced many hours of exercise, meditation and diets with running to work only to save time and not spend it on any kind of stuff. I was lucky in my life before that. In general, I was an extremely heavy audience for any preacher. But when my sister saw me in such a sad state, she felt pity and gave me a brief suggestion of just a pinch power – with an unexpected warmth she said everything she thought about it.

By the end of the day, I realized that the suggestion worked. I am now filled with gratitude to fate for not being stabbed in the past two decades. Especially in the nineties, when I was really alive as a miracle. And even these idiots began to arouse sympathy in me - in my body there are 742 bones, the spleen would die from envy, and after all, none were broken, except the nose - with such a number of p3duels it had to be wise or treat me very carefully. I even remembered that these Robin Hood fools, cleaning my pockets, immediately returned my insurance policy. I said to them at the time, “You’ve eaten it, and I’ll need it now.” All the doctors then, seeing the bloodshed as in horrors, treated me more carefully. And yet my gratitude to these hoppies remained somewhat tense – if I met any of them without a numerical overwhelming, I would answer without thinking.

But overall, the sister’s method worked. On the third day I felt such a tide of strength that I escaped the hospital – important papers were burning at work. The boss perceived my parish as a rebellion from the dead.
As it goes, the rumors about the injuries caused to me have gone through my life. He was pleasantly surprised that I would ever be able to go back to work, and especially that it was so late in a week, so as not to scare my colleagues. Thanks to my sister, I almost forgot about this stupid incident and only talked about the matter.
In response to the direct sympathetic question of the boss, I honestly listed the injuries received, of which only two broken bridges had financial significance. It was time to change them, but there was no money. Looking at my purple face, the boss easily signed the prize application for me personally, which he played off a week ago, and the application for my trip to a distant tropical country – this application was also previously hopelessly scorned. The time before the trip was just a month left to build bridges and break up with the blacks.

I looked astonished at the just signed completely non-passable papers and began to guess that I got into the right tone.
Margining with a swimming eye, I entered the story of the heavy share of my unit, which had not been raised for two years. As a result, three dozen people were charged a prize literally an hour before the closing of the calculation record – I’m not joking. In total, all these gifts drew about a million rubles more than the unfortunate fifty, pulled out of my breathless body three days before.
Nothing but a sincere gratitude I have felt for them since then.
I know they would take it as bullying.
But that’s their problem :)

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