bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №111275
 27.03.2015
Life is a game: whoever does not hide it will find it.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №111274
 27.03.2015
The real story...

Somewhere in the early 90s, we got with a friend on the "Kinotaur", and, after the opening party, in the "Pearl", quite loaded, amused, we went in the elevator, and with us in the elevator entered Gradsky. He is listening in the headphones.
Well, a drunk man is a brave man, and I say to him, “What do you have there, let me listen?”
He without objections takes, and wears on me his headphones... And in them the song of the city itself plays...
I ask, in a hurry: “What is it???”
“I don’t like anything anymore.”
I have no more questions :)

[ + 36 - ] Comment quote №111273
 27.03.2015
My grandmother gave my granddaughter a doctor’s set. The cats hide immediately. Grandpa didn’t have time.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №111272
 27.03.2015
...
- Of course scratches, aluminum and copper are softer steel.
It’s got a little softer now... Spring.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №111271
 27.03.2015
Commentary on Book

For a book in 5K, it’s not bad. Although there are stylistic mistakes, as well as descriptions of trips to sorting, sex, and absolutely not appropriate comparisons type:
>women's voice with low curtains
There are such dohrena, but from this as a musician, I'll hint how a low covering song will sound (link)
If a woman next to me does that, I’ll throw a tail into her.

[ + 19 - ] Comment quote №111270
 27.03.2015
Geektimes "KAMAZ" with an unmanned control system: everything you wanted to know but were afraid to ask
xxx: And the autopilot will be taught to give bribes for overloading the car and so on? and :)

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №111269
 27.03.2015
Enrolled in the gym. On the first day of the class, the coach looked at me with his kind and patient eyes to find out which muscle groups I needed to train, so to speak, but no muscle group was found.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №111268
 27.03.2015
The chief of the hammer was now explaining the task on the street to the workers, pointing to the ground with the words “hole, huita-muita, fool.” The best task ever. : 3

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №111267
 27.03.2015
The second level commentary...
to this:
Gagarin and the Queen.
------------
At the reception in his honour Gagarin confused himself in the order of using dining appliances, and said to the queen: "I am sitting at the royal table for the first time, and I don't know everything...", to which she replied: "I have been at this table for 40 years, and I also don't know everything...".

I am generally drawn from this old lady, from her manners, lines of behavior, style of clothing. She is over 80 years old, but she will appear at some event, in her background all the other politicians look like poor relatives.
-------
So she has over 80 years of constant training behind her shoulders!

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №111266
 27.03.2015
A smart man is already an ideal. I thought it should be so, if not everyone, then most. And not so long ago there was such a story where an ordinary woman is called an ideal. Is it really all so bad and there are only fools and TPs left in the world (except those who have left)?

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №111265
 27.03.2015
GNU-Ubuntu1204LTS: I plan to go to Crimea for a week in the first months of September. What is worth seeing, where to stop on the post, and other underwater stones

invy: On the ferry crossing :) It is not excluded that you will be watching it for a few days.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №111264
 27.03.2015
The strange girl:

to pay the alimony, azaza"

What if the man does not live for anything? If his family has other children? What about it all, doesn’t matter?
________
and stop. Shouldn’t a man think when he swallowed? In this case, the woman is responsible. Growing and educating. Even if it was stupid, she did it.
But what about a man? No is? Could he get electricity? It is his problem that is there. The child is him, however. And for the child, it is figured out which of the two is the bigger fool. Now he needs the care of his mother. And at least no copycat from the dad, although he wanted to swing in an unknown direction.
P.S If he has other children, the amount of alimony will be reduced. But the obligation to pay alimony does not cancel. For this duty is not in relation to the woman with whom she accidentally got out, namely the child.
P.S to P.S even if both mom and dad, in general, will give up the child or will even be deprived of parental rights both, and the child will be sent to children. The child can still receive alimony from both parents. from one and the other. Only guardianship agencies.
Why is? It is the responsibility of parents to maintain their biological children. Whether they want it or not. Parents of both sexes, yes.

[ + 36 - ] Comment quote №111263
 27.03.2015
Among the first cars in our population were observed:

- a beautiful American at age and with the character of an ageing movie star (loved to suddenly stop and pose);
- not less beautiful "Volga" (the same, with a deer, grandfather's pride, the only disadvantage is very difficult to push it);
- "coin" by the name of "Frankie" (this Frankenstein monster was assembled from two "coin");
- Something reminiscent of the "Opel", which was attacked by a cluster of leopards (the lady loves to park until the characteristic knock);
- Hellfully painted "Matisse", seeing which, Van Gogh would cut off his second ear...

They were all very visible cars.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №111262
 27.03.2015
A graduate friend writes:
At first, Vkontakte offered me advertising of wedding salons, and wedding photographers, and wedding stylists, and leading to the wedding. Here is left. Three at once.
Apparently, after I never responded to any of these ads, “single men” went in search, “assured men” and other kinds of men. Three now.
And again I didn’t react – started "Peter’s Mothers", "Family Shows" and "Planets of Childhood".
Artificial intelligence in thought. :) But what next? Is this all I need? Guessing my obviously difficult fate, in a couple of weeks he will go to clinics and ritual services, :).

[ + 23 - ] [4 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №111261
 27.03.2015
For work, I formatted a document in Word: 240 pages collected from at least a dozen other documents; gaps instead of retracements; page breaks in random locations; matches from tables; and a lot of other perversions. To all this is added a poorly distributed text. In some places it is necessary to restore the text by a set of random characters:

Hell, the proof of the proof of the proof of the proof of the proof of the proof of the proof of the proof of the proof of the proof.

I don’t think to be tormented, but simply to write at the end of each such line "Kulhu fhthn".

[ + 18 - ] Comment quote №111260
 27.03.2015
Guilty and not guilty:

And again, the fault is exclusively the man, and the woman owes nothing to anyone. Think about protecting yourself before jumping into bed? It is easier to blame your partner.
_______
You fucking seem to be stubborn. Both sexes advocates "men" so-called, who to the child type is not in business.

and so –
This is what ""Sunul came out and went". The child? No, I did not do it.
It is..."
It is the responsibility of parents to maintain their biological children. Whether they want it or not. Parents of both sexes, yes"
and my text. I am a man, ah.
To you, fools, two simple things do not come.

1st Women have their part of responsibility. Growing up and raising this child.

2nd Food is not a woman. They are for the child. It is a duty of both sexes. Regardless of their wishes. Even if they were at all intentionally deprived of the parental rights of both, from both and will be demanded, I will repeat.

Three in the equality of equality. Extreme case on the matter. represented the interests of his father. Determination of the place of residence of the child with the father. To recover alimony from the mother, I emphasize again, to the child.

4 is Children are not to blame for the stupidity of one or both parents. Therefore, yes, you will pay alimony on their content, whether you want it or not. Or the second parent, or the state - according to the circumstances, with whom / where the child.

[ + 15 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №111259
 27.03.2015
My wife and I paid off the mortgage for seven years. They feared that the cat could become a separatist. He did not participate in the vote for early repayment and did not live without a mortgage, he does not know what it is. They thought he would suddenly demand the return of the mortgage burden.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №111258
 27.03.2015
A friend wrote to me:
Masha, I knew I was singing Figo, but not so much.
From the workshop was passed a bad habit I long left in the past - to sing on every occasion doing something.
I’m cooking dinner, I’m driven to torna sorriento, by the end of the song I realized that a hamster is singing. A hamster is a creature that makes sounds only when you kill it. My song is like death for him.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №111257
 27.03.2015
From comments to news about fighting the blatant romance:

Aaa: I would still radio "Shanson" banned. seriously.
BBB: What would you offer to those who are sitting out in return? Pops cannot be listened to. Rock will not be either. The rapper? It’s the same text, but the music is different.
ccc: Classical music has not been cancelled. It greatly contributes to the moral development of a person and involvement in the beautiful.
Ddd: Presented under the roaring dynamics of the music of Tchaikovsky from the tinted "nine" come out two cotton boys in sports costumes and say: "state, please share with us material values, yupta!"

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