Damn, change + and - places, or when scrolling in the mobile version constantly to a minus slide

News
The head of Rostelecom will be paid 280 million rubles for leaving the company

The apartment on the first floor, in the courtyard on March 8, the wife sits on her knees, we embrace...
Wife: "Mrrr, mrr-miu"
From somewhere: "Myau!".
I raise my blinds and look...
And there the sad, deceived, March cat looks out the window with hope.

Kirill (Grodno): Chel ща is talking on the phone
Andrei Viktorovich: And what?
Cyril (Grodno): And he says, the cross is ready, but Jesus Christ you will be striking yourself.
Andrei Viktorovich: A shit

Maxi is Hi! Andrew, divorced, realtor
What do you do in life?
Hello to Elena! Elena, not married, rantier
I lie on the couch.

You are a miracle!
1: Aha the monster
Can I believe in you and you pray? ?
1: not
0: I knew it ?
After that, fulfill all your desires.
But you, poor mortals, can’t come up with anything worthwhile.
1: only came down the poor, the bables, the other joys
Not to glorify your God, asking nothing in return.
Will you celebrate me?
0: I celebrate you so much ?
1 is also correct.
Okay, you can worship me.
1: Just blink so I don’t know
1: It confuses me.
1: Do not ask for nothing.

Fuck you don’t believe it!! I work in the Department of Agriculture, I answer the phone call:
(I) - Good morning, the management of agriculture, a specialist such a..
(C)- Hi, you are concerned by the chief specialist of the department "Post of Russia"......
What can I help you?
(C) Can I find out the cost of 1 kg of oats, 1 century of straw, and the cost of a horse?
I barely swallowed the phone from laughter!! The secret of the speed of their work has been uncovered, so far the hostages on horses carry the mail!!!!! to

Not murdered, not robbed, not raped. at home
— And it would seem like an attractive young man... very strange, yes.

I got into a hospital with a fracturing of the key. Before the operation, they had to do conductive anesthesia - this is when a nerve node is crushed and some part of the body is cut off, and one young, sympathetic anesthesiologist's assistant performs. Colitis, therefore, and does not get into the right node, once colitis, two colitis... seven... I do not get very well, the condition is premature, please wait a little while until I rest. Rested, again does not work, it is removed by the doctor, colitis and falls from the first time. They are taken to the operating room, she is in a row and suddenly asks why you are smiling and here I realize that somewhere after the fifth or sixth time on my face just frozen grimace something remotely resembling a smile. And I myself will not understand why, whether from the fact that I got not experienced, and watching her actions was fun, whether from the fact that I understood, she will assist and it is not even a smile, but the literal state of "I am in the shower"...

Gifted balsams for hair with straws oil emu.

An acquaintance of a teacher tried to blame the parents of the students that once a year she goes to the clinic for a couple of weeks about panic attacks. The director of the school advised them to do the same.

M: What do you look at?
g: "An alarming call", if I am not mistaken
m: " Worrying" sounds like. A thriller or about graduates?
About graduates, of course. The Zombie Apocalypse. Every year at 10 a.m. on the 25th of May a bell rings in a small provincial town. People are hiding in the basements. Graduates walk through the streets and scare civilians. Everything changes when May 25 falls on a Friday – middle-class managers, in a shit after a working week, decide to challenge dangerous graduates.

xxx: Imagine, the film is 58 years old, and Peltzer is already old in it.
I think she was born like that.

Comments to the post on the news "RPC proposed to introduce the subject "Sense of Life" in schools:
In the first class, write on the board "42" - and score before the end of the course of this unknown subject.

Panda: The only perversion is the absence of sex. Everything else is a matter of choice." (c) Someone.
Panda: fucking, I’m still a pervert >_<

Sitting in the reception of the rehabilitation center for a massage, I was once again convinced how great and powerful the Russian language is. What is the question of the nurse running by "Where do we sit?" And the answer "I go there" sounds quite normal.

> and >
In 2001, the European Union decided that tomatoes are not vegetables, but fruits. by Facepalm
Yes, this is a berry.
zzz: that is - ketchup is a compot?
> and >

That was mad!! The Elephants!! to

xxx: I was here, I watched the Transformers (part one) again, and I began to look at the Chelyabinsk meteorite somehow... they are among us.
xxx: The thought of a harsh optimism with the Kamaz logo does not leave my mind.

XXX: Are you laughing? A billionaire committed suicide. Yes, I hitman all the parts passed, there the most points were given when it looks like suicide.

xxx: And that, stop reducing our accounting to "bush management". are offended.