With Geektimes:
We have several requirements for the substances we use:
1st We should not be digested by them, including in the long term;
2nd substances should not cause damage to the dishes;
Three substances should not damage the dishwasher;
4 is They must perform their functions;
5 is The house should remain in place, along with sewerage and residents;
6 is State ship control and radioactive material control services should not be interested in experiments.

XXX: Listen, you need two positions: 1. needles for washing gaps and tonsils 2.puddle or cannula for washing the appendicals sinuses
YYY: Hello
YYY: Was it the doctor himself who called these tools?
XXX: Yes
Doctors are such.
YYY: This is what... I had a case... My colleague received an order for "Ultrasound Preservatives" and.. Attention to! "Condoms for Surgeons"
YYY: long could not understand why surgeons use condoms during surgery))
YYY: It turned out that there is a special instrument expensive, which is similar to the sickle in appearance, so with this tool the surgeon captured the tissue cut or there kidney stones, well, in general, when removing any hernia from the body by surgery, this hernia with this "sickle" and dressed... But as "Sickle" this expensive (well, the pipe is really expensive), and the money was not allocated, our brave doctors came up with: the wire was provided with a condom and it worked. And condoms they needed were purely ordinary but without lubrication. This is)

There are such scanners - Lexmark. We have the scanning set up so that the client approaches the scanner and presses a certain combination of keys.
My girl shows me that the scanner doesn’t work.
Here, he says, look – I send, I press "grid1", and it doesn’t work!
I tell her that you are watching, and the computer asks you to press "grid2".
She says no, there has always been "grid1".
I tell her what is written on the screen - press "grid2".
She tells me - that no, there was always "grid1"!
I tick her finger into the monitor - this is the same "grid2"!
She says – where?
Closes the window, immediately opens - it is already written "grid1".
Press on the scanner – everything works... He looks at me with a victorious look.
Do you know what you did, woman?
You fought the computer.

I bought paper towels for the kitchen.
Husband (187 cm height, 120 kg weight), broke the package,
praised:"I finally bought a normal toilet paper!"
I smiled... in the morning in the toilet started roll found...

Tentaken: Yesterday I gave up all the bureaucratic stuff to the boss.
The process of surrender was complicated by the fact that I have 3 bosses and each sees everything in his own way.
And everyone, the dog, does not know how to design these papers correctly, according to corporate standards, but I am firmly convinced that what I did was wrong.

The most offensive thing is that I came to the factory of hooks to spin, not papers to write, but for six months where I do mostly writing :-(

lioppa_begemoth: Ugu. It’s like you’re a coder. You sit down and ask "Where is TZ?"
And you are answered: "Here, we will have a rally with the producer, where he will expose his visions, then together with the producer, we will cut it all into tanks, then we will bring them to the TFS, then we will agree on the performance, then we will give the good to the implementation, then we will sabmit with comments about what has been done, then test, then fix, then report the producer to the producer and report the producer to the producer about the results. Yes, and also need to write reports in 1C too."

Zoo defenders don’t just use the strategy of not saving meat pigs as a species, they show a picture of a smiling pig and say “Let’s help save this baby.”

Here is such a line of behavior, by the way, very irritating: "saving" an animal by someone else’s hands. I believe that somewhere there are specialists in their business who are well acquainted with veterinary medicine, ethology and the characteristics of the lifestyle and nutrition of a particular species of animals. Specialists who are competent in helping those who really need it. But at the domestic level... Too, too often, I’ve picked up a cat/chicken/half-fooled dog, I’m so sorry for him, I’m squeezed by screaming, but I can’t take home, my parents and my pets are against, find him an emergency, money for food and a new master!

A friend in the VK:

22nd of April:
Exactly a year ago I graduated from the "Business Breakthrough" courses and thanks to them I became who I am now! thank you!

24 of April:
>> Sushi "California" and "Philadelphia classic" for repost!

With the initiatives of our Duma... We must either change the orchestra, or remove the Conservatory.

The damn amazing property of the grandmothers) stood at the stop alone for 15 minutes. It seemed like a bus, they were already two, and for some reason both in front of me)

Women cannot live where they have not been repaired.

WOW! How many centuries have you lived and followed the grandmother's fashion on your eyebrows? In which region, by the way?

From Transylvania we are, child, from Transylvania.

> No, you don’t know about electricity.
> Simply "pull the wire" is not enough - you need a second contact. And on one wire you can actually hang on your hands, and you will have nothing.

Unfortunately, there are decimeter breakthroughs in the air. And the lump, the edge of the ear flying past the wire, and the edge of the hook past the carrying structures, risks to be in a large bow and it will still stretch 15 centimeters of flight behind it. It will fly, smoke. They don’t joke high.

When my mother was in graduate school, she got a new job. Time in the 90s was unrestful, but she was lucky, she arranged to work in the Federation Council.

On one of the beautiful spring days, she had to go to the universe to defend her dissertation. She agreed with the scientist for a certain time, but at work she was delayed and she was categorically late.

Her immediate boss (a good uncle, I know him) when he saw the sadness on the light forehead of my mistress, asked what the young girl was sad about. Well, she told him that the pre-defense was literally in half an hour, and she didn't have time, thought that the work would be less and she would leave earlier.

“That’s a question,” said the uncle and called somewhere. After 10 minutes, a car with flashes and an accompaniment was waiting for my mother. She managed to get into the universe exactly a few minutes before the start of pre-defense. I waited for 40 minutes for my lesson.

When he arrived, he said to my mother with an indiscriminate anger:

Do you imagine? All the roads to the university were blocked, a knuckle was driving with flashes. Here I am late.

My mother was modestly silent.

You and your mother have different names, different fathers.
I: Yeah... yeah :D

It is difficult for us women: all the pants washed, the shirt did not enter, had to wear a dress, and with him another shoe, a bag and even a coat. From the old bag to put everything in the new, look for whole socks... In short, late to work

I have a acquaintance. A smart man in his years. He lives in the Krasnodar region, and previously often travelled to relatives in Osetia, it seems. In those years, the 90s, the trips were quite problematic due to the greedy Caucasian and Krasnodar Haishnikovs. Often stopped and shaken. My uncle, not knowing the psychology of the servants, used this trick to avoid bribes:

- he placed in the load pocket a package of a wallet, a driver's license and red crustaceans of a la ment or gbschnik.

And here, when he was required to present the documents, he got the whole package, scratched the driver's license from it, and the rest as if unwittingly transferred to another pocket. An interested haishnik, attracted by bright (possibly dangerous) crusts, necessarily asked suggestive questions about his uncle's profession or crusts. To which the uncle replied with the crown phrase:

No, no, it does not matter! I am a simple citizen today.

It always worked 😉

the best comment as I think about the ehermeister "Defects: you have to pay :-)"

According to a survey, the number of Russians who feel happy has reached 85%, which is the highest in sociological measurements since 1990. According to sociologists, the level of happiness of Russians, by subjective sensations, reached 85%. At the same time, the main reasons for their happiness are called family, children and strong health. It is noteworthy that a high percentage of happy people is recorded in all socio-demographic groups.
Psychologist Natalia Varskaya believes that such results of the sociological study can be explained by an increase in the number of people who have become more educated and do not tell every person about their problems.

“We have really changed the model of behavior, it has become closer to the Western one, where people always have everything okay. It is not common to tell everyone about their problems there. We have adopted this practice, I see nothing bad in it. Therefore, to say that our society is totally happy, I’t.”

"An unlucky smoker broke his leg for a girl"

At the Reshota station in the Nizhnyingasi district, a 17-year-old "parkourist" twice jumped from a pedestrian bridge into a half-car with coal. The last attempt ended with a break.
The candidate for the Darwin Prize. A bit behind the wire and another piece of coal would fall into the car.

In a dispute between a man and a woman, it is not the one who is right, but the one who is always right.