bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 22 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №99819
 28.06.2014
I just parked in a parallel parking lot. I notice a man watching out of the car in front of him in anticipation of the show, until the glass dropped. Parking in Philadelphia. In the face of the man universal disappointment. It broke my uncle’s fun :))))

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №99818
 28.06.2014
of life observation.
The presence (even temporary) of a home of children and cats automatically produces paranoid habits in a person. With respect to children, this is manifested in the overwhelming instructions such as "Don’t!", "Don’t lie down!", "Be careful!" and so on, even for the most trivial reasons. Even when I was not going to say anything like that. Regarding cats... Here two stories can be illustrated)
When the cat, who was staying in my room for the night, fell asleep by night and went to the window to look in the blinds, bypassing the incomplete glass of water, my sleeping brain in two seconds came to know what the sound was. I was thrown straight into the bed because the water dropped from the window to the table on which the open note was standing. I don’t always hear a loud alarm.
Or yesterday in the courtyard, the cat jumped nearby. I found a tree and started to cut the nails. By habit, I barely glanced at him, so that the furniture did not spoil.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №99817
 28.06.2014
>> I have a meeting at 8:30 p.m. home to
Sometimes at night, sometimes at midnight.
I can hardly get there before 22:00. The main work begins around.
16:00 Msk, ends with clocks at 4 - 5 am.
Partners mainly live in Pindostan, in
of Canada. At 7 a.m. we are home. If there is work, if work brings
pleasure and boppy - I fuck when she
It begins and ends.
— — — —
Enjoyment and grandparents, I understand. Do you and your wife ever see you?

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №99816
 28.06.2014
This is:
Moscow’s income will cover 93% of its expenses. And then Moscow eats your money?

Sibyryak-kun replies: some spherical Gazneft has offices in Moscow. Oil is pumping in the vast Siberia, guess which city will be recorded and spent income?


[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №99815
 28.06.2014
All admines on vacation, what? What kind of nonsense have you been doing in the last couple of weeks?? to

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №99814
 28.06.2014
I suddenly thought that the average high school teacher was more humble than the average high school priest.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №99813
 28.06.2014
Japanese creation that cannot be broken

G-SHOCK is a clock with an incredibly stable shape and a sturdy design that can withstand falls from height to height.

10 meters, repeated hammer strikes and other external influences.

What is included in the supply package?
Metal packaging with soft filling

[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №99812
 28.06.2014
The hammer worried, rushed - little space in an improvised pit, where to lay seeds, the cheeks are broken. I covered the cage with a stick, looked at it through the web, attached to the cage. I do not fit. Go ahead, architects!! to
With these legs, with his fingers, he takes the seed by two, taps, puts next to the wall. The second too. I don't know what - saliva or shit, lubricates, puts on top. In general, it makes a wall, perpendicular to the cell. Up to the top!! On a half-hammer built, sat down, rested. I couldn’t stand it, I was still sick. He breathed, and again. Of course, he will destroy himself, but God, the mind!!! I love the puppy.

[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №99811
 28.06.2014
I do not understand:

In our city, such a "home club" beat her husband's mistress, hugged her naked with a kitchen knife and took her naked out on the street - for a walk.

received only three months.
But what an excitement!!!! to

In the meantime, the man fled shamefully from the place of battle.
----------
And the poor innocently seduced man she then tossed with a borsch and calmed with cocklets. Thief, what a ugliness! Babies, what kind of... you "marry" for unworded calves, which "anyone can take"? Cattle slaughter is a deadly sin.

— — —
Is this the fault of your husband/wife’s lover? Meet, communicate, invite to bed, sometimes even not knowing that he/she is married or has another partner. No, though, the furia breaks, washes the man who came from the side, then leaves his, gently smoothing his head. And Brad too. Damn not to go to the left. What is the fault of the tempter?

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №99810
 28.06.2014
It is not the end :)
For example, I would like the phrase “Moscow and the Regions” on TV and radio to sound like “Moscow and the Other Regions”. It would seem a little. But to do so, we have to change everything.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №99809
 28.06.2014
They dug here under the garage and found interesting bones at a depth of 2.5 meters in clay. They don’t look like a cow or a horse. Throw them out or what? As far as the box is collected. We dig further and slowly (as we can!!!) We collect more. People, who knows how to do it?
Do you think of dinosaurs?
An Indian cemetery... or the office of a french
Heads of horses came after requests from the ZUP.
___________
Are you not accidentally crawling cattle? Do you not fear epidemics - Siberian ulcers, for example?

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №99808
 28.06.2014
Comments on Working in Morga:
XXX:...and the skin stretches on the face
YYY: Is it made for convenience or for the light to shine in his eyes?
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №99807
 28.06.2014
The xxx:
Which group of Russians need to go out???? to
YYYY :
The younger, the corrective)))

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №99806
 28.06.2014
Yesterday in the club met the girl, danced, talked all as needed, spent home, invited to myself, got a champagne she decided to turn on the music, launched the computer he was hanging on the start. Repaired the computer and went home. This is a diagnosis!!! to

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №99805
 28.06.2014
There is a very tangible rain all night. Two men of decent appearance come out from the entrance. One of them holds a cage with a hammer. He is interested in me:

It’s raining, so what?

and ah.

No fuck to fuck! - And immediately with such a polite voice to the second - Sergey Viktorovich, more cautious.

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №99804
 28.06.2014
The smell of something familiar to the pain.
HHH: Yes of course! It smells of condoms.
Where did that smell come from?! I live on the eighth floor.
My mom brought the strawberries.
I am a fucking (

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №99803
 28.06.2014
He lies and does not red. And where are you in the regions people on foreign mark rides, travel abroad and generally, do not blow in the mouth? The bandits? MB of Moscow? You’re just a lazy, low-skilled coward, there’s no other explanation. It is not so expensive in Moscow, but you have to pay everywhere! If you want to suck - pay, drink - pay, chew - pay, go in - pay. Just, shit, pay for everything you can. The salary is a lie. With your own apartment, you can barely reduce ends with ends for 30,000, ONE. Just because you pay for everything, shit.
— — — —
1st Reduce the tone. Anonymity is not an excuse.
2nd I am not a lazy low-skilled cowboy, but a very owned small company. On the periphery, yes. In Moscow once (even in the USSR) after the university did not stay, and never regretted. The son remained. He was alone, and I already had him. and wife.
I know what I am talking about. And on personal examples, too, two days like from Moscow. You can get a lot more for the same job in Moscow. Someone has 30 in Moscow and 10-15 on the periphery, someone has 70 in Moscow and 25-30 on the periphery - it depends on qualification. I know people with a salary of 10 or less.
Three If you want to suck in Moscow, go to any supermarket. Or at McDonald’s. And not paying.
You will be surprised, but communism on the periphery was also not announced, and paying here is also required.

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №99802
 28.06.2014
XXX: Whitec is an interesting person.
In the country, I drank the most of all, and in the morning, it was little that I woke up first.
So then, when we walked with our heads and asked him how he was feeling, he replied that a couple of bottles of beer yesterday were superfluous.
We are so, yes yes.
XXX: And he says, here is one of you, and the other of Kostyan. And I just didn’t have enough of them to harmony. ?

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №99801
 28.06.2014
Broneko: Hippie programmers
Make int, not var

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №99800
 28.06.2014
When I was in class at the 4th, we made bombs: you pour soda into a glass bubble under medicines, pour vinegar, clog with a traffic jamming, wrap with a lid, go away / throw away. The pressure breaks the bubble, and the grandmother gets.
Once I decided to improve the process: it is not convenient to deal with vinegar - it is liquid and it is uncomfortable to carry it to school. Even with smell.
So I replaced vinegar with lemonic acid - you can bring it to school in the form of a ready-made mixture of lemonic acid and soda, and then - just water from the crane to add.
And here I brought this yellow-white powder to school. I remind you, it was 198x year, no other powders this year in school could not be.
Classmates ask, what is it? And I take, and lick - it's such a powder, if you drink a little - then the temperature will rise slightly, and you can go home.
Five minutes later, I was persuaded to try the first one: I ate half a teaspoon. Another 15 minutes later he was with the school nurse, another 15 minutes later he was released home with an honest 37.5.
During the next two lessons, another five people dropped. Lydia Ivanovna checked the latter very carefully, from her point of view - an epidemic began in one of the classes: boys with a fever and without other symptoms.
Then I decided to remove it, and the powder didn’t work! It worked for everyone, but not for me. It was a shame... But I knew that there is no temperature from two banal food supplements. It did not work. This is self-indulgence.

The best quotes and jokes from the bezdna