bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №115421
 28.06.2015
Here are you butterflies, with your “I’m fat?” and my invisible (90 kg) hit you here and directed this question of life and death to me. What to answer in the future I do not know, but "no" I have already answered - I forced to wear on my hands...

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №115420
 28.06.2015
xxx> Smart workers are in demand at all times. They pay cleverly.

[ + 18 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №115419
 28.06.2015
Fat and not fat.
Here is my regular attempt to look at my cat and at the same time torture me:
Tell me I’m bald, right? Am I really scratching?? to
So what should I say to him that I can see him well?! to

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №115418
 28.06.2015
"More of the property". You are missing, you are illiterate.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №115417
 28.06.2015
Here is this girl:

I would go to a meeting, but a clear penny, on the holiday of the life of the ideal, fat-home middle-size with small breasts, middle-minded, with purely female hobbies (recepts, pc-games on books loved ones, books themselves, browsing and hanging under series) nothing to do.
– – – – –
The girl! If you are from Moscow, I will be waiting for you there!
You will find out from the books. Do not be afraid to approach.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №115416
 28.06.2015
Tell me, am I getting fat?
How much did you weigh five years ago?
and 55 kg.
How much do you weigh now?
and 65 kg.
The Conclusions?

[ + 43 - ] Comment quote №115415
 28.06.2015
Go to the designers, ask Sasha. You will recognize him by his beard.
Every designer has a beard, how do I recognize it?
"Look, there will be a beard-Che Guevara, a hipster beard, a long-haul captain beard, and a beard-Jesus Christ. You need Jesus.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №115414
 28.06.2015
XXX: I will not say for everyone, but when I lived in the USSR, I did not have sex.
YYY: You can think he has you now

[ + 19 - ] [3 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №115413
 28.06.2015
The main thing in the cities of Ukraine is not to appoint mass meetings, or they are sharp and the rise and the noise will be overthrown again.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №115412
 28.06.2015
Q: Did you do what you wanted?
WOW: I don’t know, the testers will say on Monday
We had to add some support.
Q: Is it your coat now called that?
Wow: Nothing like that.
Wow: These are completely different things.
WOW: The coffins are more cluttered
HH: In the sense of less elegant?
WOW: Well, and the slugs are so careful.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №115411
 28.06.2015
Clara: I know everything. You stole my corals. The Coral, Carl

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №115410
 28.06.2015
xxx: I go into the stall, you can say, in the purg for a meeting with the beautiful, two nice young men stop me in the stall and polently ask - sorry, please, how do we find the street of Gromov? And I answer them honestly and not less politely: it is quite difficult to find the street of Gromov, but in principle it is possible. I try to go further. And only after a second I realized that I was clearly asked about something else.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №115409
 28.06.2015
xxx: I have wisdom teeth cut, hurt fucking
YYY: I have too. Only one grows parallel to the ground, forward.
Zzzz: Okay, just go ahead!
XXX: The tooth of purpose!

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №115408
 28.06.2015
A minute of classics
...
A young, attractive woman with a higher education, without material and housing problems.I will not answer the letters, I will not give the phone number, I will not give the photos! ;D

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №115407
 28.06.2015
The interior designer disappears. It disappears because its "This extractor looks awful in the kitchen, these curtains are foolish" people hear as "Maaaau, maaaaau" and just cuddle. He has to take everything into his feet. He broke the curtains, pulled the curtains, pulled the carniz. He still does not like wallpapers in the hallway, there he has to jump high to remove them, but such difficulties do not scare him.
One day he decides to break the wall, and who will stop him? This cat needs creative space.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №115406
 28.06.2015
from the comments on the doors):
One of my comrade’s older sons in a small shape in the store saw a dropped toy with a spare part flying away, and said:
It is broken, shit!
Daddy turned red and cried out:
I broke up and that’s all.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №115405
 28.06.2015
From the provider’s discussion:
xxx: I was sworn that the optics were going to the house and there was no storm nearby, all in mind.
Nothing unpleasant, just interesting, I understand that the moments are technical and all that, but how does the thunderstorm fall the optics in us?
yyy: If in the short, then the optics are wires. Thus, the thunderstorm falls the trees - the trees tear the wires, and the broken wire falls the internet.

[ + 13 - ] Comment quote №115404
 28.06.2015
The Pillow:
There was a woman working with us (let’s call her Anna Dmitrievna) at the age of well over 50. Despite the coming of old age, she carefully monitored her appearance, in addition, at work, it was said that she was rotating sheets with one of the employees, 12 years younger than her.
Once Anna Dmitrievna went on her business on the bus, suddenly a guy knocks her on the shoulder and says:
– Grandma, please pass on for the trip.
Anna Dmitrievna turned around and with a voice of indignation issued the phrase from which the entire bus went away:
What kind of grandmother am I if I am still fucking?! to

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №115403
 28.06.2015
Homosexual marriages are allowed in the US, but the ass hurts in Russia.

[ + 37 - ] Comment quote №115402
 28.06.2015
No animal except man can conceive of a God like himself, in whose name he can freely kill those created by him in his image and likeness.

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